I write about grief to help me through the ‘grieving process’ after the loss of my twin. I hope it helps you too. Grief is complex; it’s based around individual experiences that people go through in response to loss.


Writing helps me through the grieving process after the loss of my twin. It allows me to express how I feel, myself. The act of putting thoughts into words, I find is cathartic and healing.


It is important to be aware that grief is not a linear process. It does not have a defined beginning, middle and end. Instead, it is more like a roller-coaster with ups and downs, sometimes how you feel can be unpredictable and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Grief can resurface at any time, in unexpected moments, triggered by memories, anniversaries, or any situation where you are reminded of your loss.


In navigating grief, it is crucial to practice self-care and allow yourself time to feel and process your emotions. If it helps, surround yourself with a supportive network of family or friends, who can provide a listening ear, comfort and understanding. Perhaps, seek out activities or hobbies that bring you joy and help you find moments of peace also.


Healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge how you feel. Healing and moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one, but it does mean finding ways to integrate the loss into your life and create a new sense of meaning and purpose.

Read more by Ilana at www.thecpdiary.com

Read Ilana elsewhere on Open to Hope: https://www.opentohope.com/losing-a-loved-one-makes-you-grow-up/

Ilana Estelle

Ilana was born with a disability she didn’t know she had until the age of 46, when something her mum said caused her to look further into her disability and sight of her medical notes revealed that she had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of 2. That discovery turned out to be a unique and life-changing experience that has forced Ilana to stand back and look at her life’s experiences differently. On receipt of her diagnosis, Ilana set up her website, The CP Diary and uses her experiences to explore her emotional and physical health, with an inspiring message advocating positivity, resilience and change. Ilana likes to spend her days writing and blogging about anything that contributes to her health and wellbeing. She is an animal advocate and is passionate about environmental issues. When she is not writing or tending to her blog, Ilana enjoys days out exploring the Yorkshire countryside. Ilana lives with her husband in Yorkshire. Her grown up son and daughter both live in London.

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