Holidays are always hard for widows. We remember those who are missing, and miss them even  more, regardless of how much time has passed.
But there are ways to include them in the family celebrations — and then share some of that holiday spirit with them afterward.
Always talk about those who are gone during all holiday meals and remember special moments you all enjoyed together during holidays past. Then make good use of those lovely spring flowers that decorate your homes and especially the dining tables during Easter and Passover.
Don’t let them wither and die. The next morning, choose the prettiest blooms and, while they are fresh, trim and wrap them, and take them to the cemetery.
Our Shalom Memorial Park in Arlington Heights, Ill., provides flower holders that can be placed next to grave markers, as many do, and putting the flowers there makes us feel as though we’re including our loved ones in these special days.
It also helps us welcome another spring.

Sandra Pesmen

Sandra Pesmen, host of, also writes the weekly DR.JOB column syndicated by Career News Service. A member of The Chicago Journalism Hall of Fame and The University of Illinois Media Alumni Hall of Fame, Ms. Pesmen is author of “DR. JOB’s Complete Career Guide,“ and “Writing for the Media: Public Relations and the Press.” A reporter, features writer and editor, this business journalist was features editor of Crain’s Chicago Business from its inception in 1978 to 1990, when she became corporate features editor for its parent, Crain Communications Inc. She also wrote the monthly Executive Woman column in North Shore magazine in suburban Chicago for many years. Previously, she was a reporter and features writer for the Chicago Daily News.

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