(This was written to?Ann who wrote about losing three children)??

Hello I hope this finds you doing better today. I myself have lost a child I lost my only child to at birth. Although I was not able to enjoy my child and his life my life is completely gone. All I ever wanted in life was a family. When I got pregnat with Korey I could not belive that it was actually happen. Then when he died Most of me died right along with him. I am sooooo angry and I do not know how to get past it. It has gotten so bad that my whole family says that I am angry all the time. I really do not mean to be like that but I do not know how to move on with my life. Maybe you and I can help each other cope.

Dear Tisha,
Thank you for reaching out to help Anne. Helping others is one of the surest ways to lessen your own grief and begin the healing process.? We are going to post your letter on the blog together with our response so other women who have lost a baby at birth can find comfort in knowing that they are not alone.
We are so very sorry for your loss. Although you do not say how long it has been since your baby died, we know that there is no time limit on grief and grieving, and we suggest you find a Compassionate Friends Group in your area. For more information go to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/? You can find a local group as well as many valuable resources to help you along the way. Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. With this group you do not have to walk this path alone.
You also might find it helpful to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart ?You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com? You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/
We encourage you to continue reaching out to others as you reached out to Ann.? You might also find it helpful to find a professional grief counselor in your area to help you through the anger and help you move on with your life.
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley


Comment 7/28/07

My heart aches for you. I certainly understand what you are saying. One of the things that concerned me was that I wasn?t myself. Besides longing for my son, I longed to feel like me again.

I am not a counselor, so I can only share my point of view as another grieving mother. I am not sure how long it has been since the death of your son. I will assume it has not been very long.

Your job right now is to grieve. I found it helped me when I learned to do so freely and to accept the feelings for that moment. It seems to take more energy to fight them.

I heard someone say, ?God is big enough to handle our feelings about Him?. I think He understands our hearts.

Even though I doubted it would ever happen, the deep pain and anguish has gotten better. I will forever miss my son, but I am learning to live the life I have instead of the live I had planned.

Gentle Hugs,


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