When someone we love dies time stops. It does not take long for us to realize that it is for us only that time has stopped. We stand caught in a time warp while the rest of the world moves … Continue reading
About Deb Kosmer
Deb has worked at Affinity Visiting Nurses Hospice for ten years, the first two as a hospice social worker and the last eight as Bereavement Support Coordinator supporting families before and after the death of their loved ones. She provides supportive counseling, developed and facilitates a variety of grief support groups, including a well-attended group for men only as well as other educational events.
Deb received her Bachelor’s degree in Social Work from UW-Oshkosh and her Master’s degree in Social Work from UW Milwaukee. She received her certification in Thanatolgy through ADEC.
Her writing has appeared in New Leaf Magazine, We Need Not Walk Alone, Living with Loss, Grief Digest, numerous hospice publications and EAP publications. Some of her poetry on death and dying will be included in a college textbook for social workers in end of life soon. New Leaf has also used some of her poetry for a line of sympathy and anniversary of death cards.
On a personal level, Deb’s 14-year-old son died after being struck by a car. Her 31-year-old sister had died in a car accident eight months earlier, and her 56-year-old father died from a heart attack exactly three years before. These three unexpected deaths within three years started Deb on a journey she never wanted to be on and she learned first-hand the importance of having the help and support of others. In the years since, she has experienced other losses, the most recent being the unexpected death of her 44-year-old step-daughter who died from complications three months after a routine surgery.
Deb’s passions are writing, reading, education, nature, and family. She is currently working on a book of her grief poetry. She recently moved with her husband to Waypost Camp, Hatley WI. Her husband accepted a job there as Property Manager and his position allows them to live on-site with acres of woods and a lake. She anticipates the quiet beauty to be a strong catalyst for writing. Deb can be reached at email@example.com.
Books by Deb Kosmer
Posts by Deb Kosmer
Lately I am angry More often than not Not out in the open In your face angry But silent subtle Under currents Of unnamed rage Assaulting me for Being held hostage By my silence. Most of us, if we are … Continue reading →
Grief is one of the loneliest places in the world. When my son died, I felt every connection I had ever had was gone. I felt invisible even to myself. When I looked in the mirror, I was surprised to … Continue reading →
She laughed at my jokes. She never forgot my birthday. Once a week, she made liver for me, even though she hated it. She made it anyway for me. She tied my ties. She told me she loved me. She … Continue reading →
Our last Mother’s Day together you bought me a hammock. I remember your excitement as I opened it and my anticipation as you gleefully put it together. We all tried it out of course, each of us one at a … Continue reading →
Without you, my world seems too big. I don’t know how to fill the space that was you. I only know sometimes I get lost in it. The space left by you seemed to mock me. It followed me relentlessly. … Continue reading →
Sometimes no matter how far we have come, a moment occurs when we are blindsided again or subtly reminded that grief does not end. A moment that no matter how hard we try cannot be ignored. A moment that will … Continue reading →
Have you ever noticed that it’s hard to tell when winter really ends and spring begins? Just when it seems all the snow has melted and that there hasn’t been any falling for awhile, we get hit with more. Sometimes, … Continue reading →
RAGE: This is an emotion we may feel when grieving but be reluctant to admit. When someone we love dies, we feel the raw wound of their absence. The raw emotions that cut like a knife. The raw gut wrenching pain. ANGER: … Continue reading →
When someone we love deeply dies, many of us feel as though we have lost our way and very unsure of where the path is, let alone what path we are on. Many of us planned on stopping and getting … Continue reading →
Rebuilding a life isn’t easy especially when we may not want to, feel like it, or know where to start. When just getting out of bed makes us so tired we want to go crawl right back in. When we … Continue reading →
Even now I wonder where the little boy went. The one who could always melt my heart with a look, a touch, a smile. The one who always gave more than he ever took or asked for. The young man … Continue reading →
“I don’t wear hats.” “I don’t dance.” “I don’t talk to strangers.” The first statement about was said by a woman at a conference for counselors, a woman who refused to choose and wear a hat for an exercise being … Continue reading →
Vehicles help us move. They help get us from one place to another. Sometimes the vehicle of choice is our car. Other times it may be a rental car, a bus, a cab, a boat, a bicycle, a hot air … Continue reading →
Last night I sat in a room filled with grieving men Some missing a parent or sibling but most a spouse For once not a minority sandwiched within a group of women, but a part of a group connected to … Continue reading →
Today, someone I loved died. I can’t believe it. I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it. Family comes, Friends come. The phone keeps ringing. The doorbell rings again and again. The ringing seems far away. I hear it, but … Continue reading →
If only…… If only….. If only……. If only……… If only…….. Most everyone has their share in life of “if only’s.” If only I were better looking, more popular, made more money, lived in a better neighborhood, were more organized, creative, … Continue reading →
Today the ground is covered with last week’s snow and the air is a frigid 29 degrees below zero. There is no pretending winter is not here. Admittedly some people thrive in the winter. It is just their time of … Continue reading →
I’m tired of starting the day without you. I’m tired of waiting for the call that never comes. I’m tired of coming home to an empty house. I’m tired of sleeping alone. I’m tired of having no one to tuck … Continue reading →
1. That I could not predict how I would feel or react at any given moment. 2. That as much as I missed my loved ones I would miss them even more during the holidays. 3. That my feelings were … Continue reading →
When someone we love dies, most of us always wish for two things: one, that the death never happened, that our loved one had never gotten sick and died, or never gotten into an accident and died, and two, if we … Continue reading →
It’s that time of year again. The holiday season, a time of rejoicing, celebration. First there’s Thanksgiving, followed by Christmas, Hanukah, and New Years. But what if I’m not thankful and don’t want to celebrate? What if I am sadder than … Continue reading →
I walk through the crunchy leaves that blanket the ground while others float down landing on me. I hesitate to brush them off. They are, after all, part of the beauty that is fall. That same breeze that makes the … Continue reading →
Guilt is one of those emotions people don’t talk much about, maybe because shame is so often a part of it. Yet when someone we love dies, most of us feel guilty about something or perhaps many things. “If only … Continue reading →
When someone we love dies, we have to fly on anyway. But what if we have forgotten how to fly? The death of someone we love grounds us. It leaves us without a pilot or a flight plan. Chaos … Continue reading →