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Discovering the ‘Christmas Valentine’

Posted on February 4, 2009 - by Yvonne Lancaster

By Yvonne E. Lancaster On December 22, 1986, our son Brian was killed by a drunk driver. We buried him two days later on Christmas Eve. Brian was 19 years old and a sophomore in college. All of his dreams and aspirations to become a marine biologist and hopefully a husband and father someday, were dashed in a split second. Brian’s tragic accident was followed by intense grieving and mourning during the holiday season. Our world stood still, our lives flash-frozen in time. Life would forever have two phases — life before Brian and life after Brian. Brian was full […]

The Gift

Posted on February 4, 2009 - by John Pete

When we lose a loved one we are confronted with a life-changing event that forces us to accept that our lives will never be the same again. As a grief counselor, and someone who has experienced my own profound losses, I have read all the textbooks and witnessed the common stages of denial, anger and guilt, bargaining, depression, and the slow journey to true acceptance. Anyone who has lost someone knows there is no other experience in life like losing a loved one. And at a time of volatile emotions, it is easy to be hurt and angered by those […]

Super man, super son…

Posted on February 3, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year: Super Bowl Sunday. I couldn’t care less each year who is in the game although there are some teams I definitely like better than others and I was rooting for the Steelers. We witnessed arguably one of the greatest Super Bowls ever as Pittsburgh beat the Arizona Cardinals 27-23. What was super about this game was the players on both sides fighting for a common goal. Had the Cardinals won the game, nobody would have argued that Larry Fitzgerald, the Cardinals star wide receiver who caught two touchdowns […]

Poem: For Barbara, On Valentine’s Day, After the Death of Our Son

Posted on February 3, 2009 - by Mitch Carmody

By Mitch Carmody — Our son Kelly James was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February of 1986, and our world changed forever. We did everything we could do medically, holistically and spiritually to save our son. Although we experienced a healing, we learned a healing is not always a cure. He died 12-1-1987, two months later I wrote this poem to my wife on Valentine’s day. February 14th, 1988 For Barbara My darling I am not sure what to say nor even what to do to make this very special day unique and true to you. We have gone […]

Ode to a Shoebox: Celebrating the Love That Never Goes Away

Posted on February 2, 2009 - by Darcie Sims

By Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D., CHT, CT, GMS — I came across the perfect shoebox yesterday. It was just the right size. The sides weren’t caved in from having a pair of too-big shoes crammed into its depths, and it still had a good top on it. It was the perfect box! I could wrap it with red and white crepe paper and add a pretty bow, and everyone at school, on Valentine’s Day, would know whose box it was. And they would stuff it full. Too bad I found it now, 35 years after I left school! Ah well, […]

Poem: Catching Valentines

Posted on January 30, 2009 - by Genesse Gentry

Some of the nicest and most interesting people I know were born in February. So when she came on Groundhog Day I thought, Wow! How great is that! After her death, the huge shadow of sorrow that came with Punxsutawney Phil darkened our determined celebrations of her beautiful, but too short, life. But always, when we peered out and through our broken hearts we found signs that she was with us, birthday kisses on her special day. Now, as her birthday month approaches I know February may bring sorrow’s shadow, but mostly I wait, wide eyed and watchful to catch […]

Taking Care of Your Relationship After the Death of a Child

Posted on January 29, 2009 - by Lisa Buell

By Lisa Buell — Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers, a time to celebrate our passion for one another. But what happens after our child has died? Our innocence is lost and it takes every ounce of strength to be civil or even interested in what our partners are saying. What happens when our psychological energy is consumed with the memories of our child and it is taking everything we have just to get through the day? What happens when we can barely look at our spouse because it reminds us of the dream that was our life, a […]

Organ Donation and St. Valentine’s Hometown

Posted on January 28, 2009 - by Reg Green

By Reg Green — My memory of Valentine’s Day is spending it among the art treasures and history of St. Valentine’s birthplace, Terni, in central Italy. It was just a few months after our seven-year-old son, Nicholas, had been shot in a botched car-jacking attempt while we were driving to Sicily on vacation. We had donated his organs and corneas to seven Italians, four of them teenagers. The organizers of our visit wanted to honor the power of love and chose to see it in our story. The ceremony was held in a packed hall and, whenever Nicholas was mentioned, […]

‘I Buy Myself a Dozen Cream Roses’

Posted on January 26, 2009 - by Audrey Stringer

By Audrey Stringer — That first Valentine’s Day after Rhod died was very difficult for me. This had been our special day and now he was gone. He died on Feb 6, 1999 and eight days later it was Valentine’s Day! I was angry! I was sad. I was lonely. In our 30 years together, Rhod always showered me with gifts and little surprises. On one occasion, he gave me a toy shaped like a heart with diamond earrings attached to it. Every year, he gave me a gigantic card with beautiful words along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers […]

Husbands Respond Differently to Pregnancy Loss

Posted on January 26, 2009 - by Diana Gardner-Williams

By Diana Gardner-Williams – We never truly know how our partner will react when a baby or pregnancy has come to an end. Most likely our husbands will grieve and display sorrow in a different manner. After the stillbirth of our son Tanner, my husband felt the need to fix things by using his hands. He built beautiful stone benches, a pergola and hung a swing in Tanner’s memory gardens. Since men and women grieve differently, it is important to allow husbands to express their pain in a way that is comfortable for them. Not only was my husband grieving […]