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“A Tsunami”: Suicidal Crisis Up Close

Posted on September 17, 2008 - by DeQuincy Lezine

By DeQuincy Lezine — (Editor’s note: Dr. Lezine attempted suicide during college, then turned his personal despair into advocacy by forming the first student-led college mental health and suicide prevention group. Here is the story of his suicidal crisis.) Normally I tell people that you don’t just wake up one day and say, “Hey, I’m suicidal today.” No one moment, no single event, is enough by itself to create a suicidal crisis. Instead, multiple events or situations, known as risk factors, combine to increase the chances that a person will consider and attempt suicide. But one of the paradoxes of […]

I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy! Mom/Dad Acted Fine at the Doctor’s Office

Posted on September 17, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

How can a person who doesn’t remember their own son or daughter, keeps their purse in the freezer and thinks that trees are talking to them act completely normal in front of a stranger? It’s called social convention abilities, or social response abilities, which means your loved one who you know has dementia/Alzheimer’s, can get their act ”together” in front of the doctor or some other person and talk or act fine. It can seem as if you’ve been tricked. Social convention means that all those years we’ve walked past someone and said, “Hello, how are you? I’m fine” are now hard-wired […]

Loss of A Sibling

Posted on September 16, 2008 - by admin

by P. Gill White, PhD For many years I have denied the unusual experience that happened to me when my sister Linda was in the hospital just prior to her death from cancer at the age of 13. I realize now that this was a significant part of my spiritual journey. She had been in the hospital for nearly 4 months. One night, I was asleep at home when I heard her softly calling my name….”Pat….Pa-a-a-t” –over and over. I woke up and looked around. The room was dark but a little light came in from the streetlights outside. I […]

Mom Remembers a Son Who Died Too Young

Posted on September 15, 2008 - by Debra Reagan

By Debra Reagan — Everyone was so excited when Clint came into our lives that beautiful day in May. While we were at the hospital the day he was born, the contractor began work on our new home. We were a young family with many hopes and dreams. Clint was a delightful child and made our family of four complete. He was very affectionate and loved the touch of those around him. Clint’s older brother, Blake, told every visitor, “He is our baby and you can’t take him with you.” As Clint grew from our baby to our little boy, […]

When Does Touch Become Critical?

Posted on September 12, 2008 - by Abel Keogh

Writer and widow Elaine Williams examines the yearning for touch following the loss of a spouse due to death, divorce or physical separation. She’s trying to be patient, she writes, but some days are hard.

I Think I’m Depressed: A Caregiver’s Deep-Dark Secret

Posted on September 11, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

I’m Carol D. O’Dell, and I hope you’ll check out my book, Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, available on Amazon I Think I’m Depressed– Have you had this thought but couldn’t say it out loud? Caregiver depression doesn’t always look like depression. That means it can go undiagnosed for a very long time. Caregivers can’t (or don’t) stop. They don’t lock themselves in darkened bedrooms for days on end. They don’t necessarily cry or stop eating. They keep on caring for their loved ones. They suffer in silence. So, what does caregiver depression look like? It can be […]

Survivors of 9/11: Rediscovering the Heroes Inside

Posted on September 11, 2008 - by Norman Fried

By Norman Fried In her front page article in Wednesday’s New York Times, Anemona Hartocollis reports on the current lives of some of the survivors of the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center. “Maimed on 9/11, and Trying to be Whole Again” highlights several men and women who were critically wounded, partially paralyzed, and emotionally transformed as a result of the events of that day. But her article is also a treatise on the human will to survive and to “rebuild a harbor,” as poet Yehuda Amichai once said, long after the ship has gone down. According to […]

On Choice and Grief by Henya Shanun-Klein, Ph.D.

Posted on September 11, 2008 - by admin

Printed with permissions and courtesy of Dr. Henya Shanun-Klein, Ph.D. When Grief drags us down, leaving us breathlessly beat at the bottom of bottoms – we are confronted with a dilemma: should we stay ‘down under’? Or should we make an effort to surface, to breathe again? Staying ‘down under’ means to, eventually, die of suicide. Question: Is that what our living or dead children want or would have wanted us to do? If the answer is “no!” then there’s only one true option: Re-learn to breathe, re-learn to live, learn to find new meaning in life. As described in […]

Remembering a Child Who Lived a Short Life

Posted on September 10, 2008 - by admin

By Jenny Hander One of the greatest tragedies in losing a baby is that you don’t get the chance to form enough memories to carry you through a lifetime of living without them. It isn’t that you forget to remember; it is that you don’t have many memories to recall. Though I think of my sweet daughter every day, there are some days I feel as though I created her in my own mind. I ask myself, “Was she ever really here?” I know that she was, but she was here such a short time and so much time has […]

Doesn’t God Listen? — Coming To Grips With The Spiritual Aspects Of Spouse Loss

Posted on September 9, 2008 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

My prayers started the moment Steve was diagnosed with esophageal cancer: “Please God, please, send a miracle. Let him be in the 15% of those who statistically beat this cancer. God, I beg you to restore Steve to health, please heal him completely, as you have so many times in the past.” This and similar fervently issued prayers were to continue even up to the day Steve died, exactly six months later. Those of us who have lost our spouses despite prayers such as these have experienced first-hand one part of how grief and loss affects […]