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My Youngest Son Died in an Accident

Posted on January 6, 2008 - by admin

Dear Dr. Gloria, My youngest son Nathan, just 20 years old died in a car accident on my husband’s birthday, July 7th, 2007. He took a curve too fast on July 4th at 3:30 am, the same curve he had taken 100 times before. He was not not wearing a seat belt, he was ejected from the car window. He landed in a grassy meadow in a remote area and it took emergency response a while to locate him. His car rolled end on end, but the inside of the car was unharmed, he would have lived if he had […]

Poem: Why Did You Come, 2008?

Posted on January 4, 2008 - by admin

Why did you come two thousand and eight? And why is everyone happy and feeling so great? If your intention is to bring me joy, then it is too late Since you have already determined my fate I cannot welcome another new year Without having my beloved daughter near It is amazing how everyone else is joyful and wants to cheer I guess many among them have not yet lost someone so dear! “Why are you so sad on this day?” I am asked “Does it coincide with the day your daughter passed?” Gone should be the days that you […]

Poem: Thank You, Friend

Posted on December 29, 2007 - by admin

Thank you friend for always being there for me And seeing what I saw and did not see I am blessed to have you by my side At good times, bad times, and when I lost my child You have accepted the person I became And realized that your friend can not be the same! Friend, you have never asked me to change And never considered any of my behaviors strange You have decided to walk with me at my pace And understood that no one can take Samar’s place You respected my daily sorrow and tears And appreciated my […]

Does the Work of Grief Ever Really End?

Posted on December 27, 2007 - by admin

Are you wondering if the pain will ever cease, if the emptiness will ever leave? Will life ever have meaning again? You may not think so now, but the answer to all three questions is an unqualified yes. And there are millions of people who can vouch for that fact. But that does not mean you will be your old self once again. Nor does it imply that you will be somehow totally free from the anxiety of your loss experience. There are a constellation of variables that determine the intensity and the length of grief. They range from the […]

Holidays and Grief Series: The Death of an In-Law

Posted on December 11, 2007 - by admin

Note from Dr. Gloria: I wrote the following article with grief and in-laws in mind; however, there is some important information for all bereavement. We know that the Holidays are a difficult time for all of you. Take care of yourself. Write for the blog. Comment on others articles. Eat healthy foods, avoid alcohol. Ask others for help. Let friends decorate your tree. Exercise even if it is only walking around the block. Listen to our radio program and take strength from our wonderful guests. The greatest gift you can give yourself and those who love you, including the ones […]

Poem: I Wish

Posted on December 10, 2007 - by admin

Mother, I never imagined you’ll be standing at my grave Praying, chatting with me, fearless and brave Mother, I know you are so miserable and sad And no one can ease your pain, even Dad I know your happy days with me are gone Can a mother ever be content after losing a daughter or a son? Life will forever be to you incomplete And joyful events will always be bittersweet Mother, rest assured that I hear your cries And listen to your aching heart and silent sighs I wish I can come and wipe away your flowing tears Including […]

Anticipatory Grief and Holidays: 12 Survival Tips

Posted on November 26, 2007 - by Harriet Hodgson

Anticipatory grief – a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs – is a hard journey. Holidays make it even harder. At a time when you’re supposed to feel happy and joyful, you feel sad and anxious. You’re on pins and needles and wonder what will happen next. Remember, your grief stems from love, and you may find comfort in that. Holidays don’t erase your reasons for feeling sad and lonely, according to the National Mental Health Association, and “there is room for these feelings to be present.” So accept your feelings and, if you feel like […]

How to Be Kind to Yourself When Mourning

Posted on November 25, 2007 - by admin

Have you forgotten all about your physical needs since the death of your loved one? Perhaps you have lost all interest in life. Are you afraid to focus your attention on anything other than the deceased, because you believe to do so means you are being disrespectful? Forgetting the self and thinking that any form of enjoyment when grieving is wrong, causes millions of mourners unnecessary suffering. The beliefs that fuel these behaviors exist and are reinforced based on a lack of information about the nature of the grief process. Grieving is arduous mental and physical work; it affects every […]

Poem: Can You Take Away My Endless Pain?

Posted on November 19, 2007 - by admin

Can you take away my endless pain? Then, stop preaching! Your plea is in vain “It is good to do this or do that” you comment “To have closure and move on and stop your lament” These words make my heart ache Please, do not mention them for my sake I know your intention is to comfort me However, you are causing me pain, can’t you see? Time is the best healer everyone says It will get better and easier throughout the days You do not understand, it is a shame! Believe me I know it is out of love, […]

Poem: A Year Has Passed

Posted on November 5, 2007 - by admin

A broken heart, mine has become From a pain that is only known to some There is no pain like a mother’s pain Who is unable to see her daughter again A year has gone, my precious one When you said, “Mum, come watch the sun” Hours later, you were called to heaven above Leaving me astounded and all those you love No tears can wash away the grief in my heart Your death has ripped it to pieces apart The amazing woman you have grown Blessed with many things, let wit alone Has been chosen to leave early, by […]