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Quiet Times Help Grievers During the Holidays

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

The holidays are exciting, a time of sparkling lights, special music, family traditions, and giving gifts. But holidays are also challenging for the bereaved. Without your loved one, holidays aren’t the same and never will be. The good news is that quiet times help grievers during the holidays. You may not want to be quiet. You may instead choose distraction, and rush from one activity to the next. Consciously or subconsciously, you know staying busy helps you avoid painful feelings. No matter how much you rush, however, grief is your shadow, and follows you everywhere. While you can’t avoid grief, […]

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Setting Grief Healing Goals

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

  For many, the arrival of a New Year means making resolutions. Resolutions and goals are similar, yet they are different. A resolution is supposed to be a firm decision, whereas a goal is something you aim for and work toward. If you are grieving this year, how about setting grief healing goals? Goals are a bright idea at this dark time of life. Your goals don’t have to be huge; they just need to exist. Maybe your goal is to make it to the next minute. After you’ve done that, your goal is to make it to the next […]

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Self-Care During the Holidays

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Brandi Reyna

Self-Care During the Holidays The holidays are hard for people for any number of reasons. Losing someone who means a lot to you can be especially difficult during the holidays. That’s why it’s so important to practice self-care during the holidays. In current culture, self-care is often deemed as selfish; however, when taken into perspective, the more you take care of yourself, the more able you are to tend to your other responsibilities. “Self-care” is defined as: “the process of taking care of oneself with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs.” There are several […]

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Second Holiday Without Your Spouse Harder Than First

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Peggy Bell

It’s the holiday season again. People told you last year the first without your spouse would be the most difficult. But here it is, another year past, and the second holiday without your spouse is harder than the first. Is something wrong with you? If you are wondering that you are not alone. For many, the second year is actually more difficult than the first.  There are reasons for this and one or more may be the case for you. Your spouse died closer to the end of the year. Sometimes if the loss was still very new, you could […]

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What is the Recipe for Grief?

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

What is the recipe for grief? There is no recipe for grief. Years after the deaths of my sisters, my complicated grief program required that I incorporate self-compassion into my practice of forgiveness. I learned to repeat this thought: I did the best I could at the time. I am amazing now. These words were crucial. As a figure skater, I thought of this like learning a new element on the ice. I’d break down the element into segments, put the pieces back together, and practice the skill over and over hundreds of times until it was mastered. Thirty Years […]

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Andrew Garfield: ‘I Hope This Grief Stays With Me’

Posted on December 12, 2021 - by Becky Aud-Jennison

I Hope This Grief Stays With Me “I hope this grief stays with me.” These beautiful words of Andrew Garfield, speaking to Stephen Colbert (starting at 4:20), have gone viral this past month. It’s as if we are a society hungry for these intimate glimpses into another’s experience. In fact, I believe we are a society starving for permission to speak of our own great grieving. I describe my transformation after the deaths of my soul connect brother and mother as dismantling me and putting me back together differently. In this conversation, we bear witness to the birth of Andrew’s […]

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Widows Wonder: Where Was God When I Needed Him?

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Kim Knight

My friend Margie asked me one day if I was angry with God over my husband Dale’s death. Sad? Yes. Angry? No. It made me think, though. I’ve talked to many people who are angry with God over many things—not just the loss of their spouse. Books have been written about it. Sermons have been delivered. Debates have raged. So, what if you are one of the angry people? How do you deal with this crushing loss without letting your anger destroy your faith? It’s totally okay to be angry with God. He can take it. Even Jesus displayed anger […]

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‘Perfect Widow’ Asks: Who Am I Now?

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Kim Knight

Widow Asks: Who Am I Now? Who am I now? Who am I really? It’s a question nearly everyone grapples with at some point in life—when you retire, after you graduate, after a major success or failure, after the death of someone important to you. Nearly all of our lives, we are defined by our relationship to someone else—we are someone’s daughter, sister, wife, mom, widow. You probably have friends you describe that way—your minister’s wife, your friend’s daughter, your boss’ spouse. It’s a way of connecting the dots of your relationships. For years, many of my acquaintances knew me […]

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Surviving the Shock of Widowhood

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Kim Knight

The Shock of Widowhood In the course of a day, my husband, Dale, stepdad to my two children, business partner, best friend, and—truly—the most interesting person I have ever known, died. That brought on the shock of widowhood. Have you lost your spouse, your parent, or a beloved friend? What is your story? Please know you’re not walking this road alone. But if you’re in the early stage, you may be pondering how life changed so quickly and how you might move forward from wherever you are. I totally hear you. The World Marched On Within a week of Dale’s […]

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Re-imagining the Advent Candles

Posted on November 27, 2021 - by Elizabeth Brady

Re-imagining the Advent Candles During the season of Advent 2003, I was eight months pregnant with our son Mack, who was born January 16, 2004. Our daughter, Izzy, had just turned six and was dressed as an angel. She had just participated in the Christmas Eve children’s pageant at our church. She leaned against me drawing on a Little Episcopalians notepad. Gold tinsel from her halo tickled my nose, and we smiled at each other when Mack moved inside me and she could feel him through my dress. “That is so weird, Mamma!” she giggled and my husband, Christian, smiled. […]

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