Beverly Chantalle McManus

Beverly Chantalle McManus serves as Vice President and on the Board of Directors for the Open to Hope Foundation. She has over 25 years of experience as a marketing executive for professional services organizations, including some of the world’s largest legal, accounting, health care, consulting, architecture and engineering firms. She has edited and co-written numerous published books and professional articles across a range of topics. After the death of her husband Steve in 2003, she began focusing on grief and bereavement support, and for the past 13 years, has been a bereavement facilitator, and core team member of the Stepping Stones on Your Grief Journey Workshops. She is a frequent speaker and writer on the topic of loss and grief and is one of the featured writers for the Open to Hope website, for which she publishes a regular column. She has served on the Board of Directors of the San Francisco Waldorf School and is active in the community, arts, and civic enhancement initiatives. She and her two daughters reside in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Articles:

Journaling My Grief Experience

By Beverly Chantalle McManus My birthday took place a week after Steve died. Although I did not feel like celebrating, my family members thoughtfully brought some gifts over, one of which was a journal. At the time, I gave it little thought. I was so consumed with grief, shock and pain, and the idea of sitting down to write couldn’t have been further from my mind. However, a few months later, as I began to settle into my new life without Steve, I started panicking at times, because given how my entire memory bank now seemed to be completely fragmented, […]

Ideas for Widows or Widowers with Teenagers who are Grieving the Loss of their Parent

This week’s column was written by my 24-year-old daughter Emily. I had asked her for suggestions for widows or widowers with teenagers who are grieving the loss of their parent, at the same time the surviving parent is grieving the loss of spouse. My father died nearly six years ago of esophageal cancer, when I was 18 and in my first year of college. Looking back on that time, I feel as though it happened both yesterday and decades ago. Death acts as a supernova to memories; seconds stand crystal clear illumined while whole weeks are a […]

Life Will Never Be the Same — But You Can Get Through This

In response to “How Do I Cope After the Death of My Husband?” Arlene writes: I lost my husband a week ago today, I buried him yesterday. One minute I am numb the next I am crying my eyes out. I love and miss my best friend….I just don’t know what to do….I can’t forget his eyes as they were taking him in the ambulance, they were pleading with me and I couldn’t help him….I can’t close my eyes without seeing his pleading eyes to help him, he knew he was dying, it was a massive heart attack and […]

Let’s All Take Advantage of the Widow! Dealing with Manipulative Family and Friends

Martha from Utah writes: Your blog comments would have been of immense help the first couple of years after my husband’s death. We had been married for 45 years. I can relate to all they say. At this point in my adjustment (not recovery), reading what new widows have to say brings back a lot of the pain. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, Time is the greatest healer. It will be 4 years in February. I have figured out I will either survive or die. Do any other widows complain about inheritance […]

I Just Want this Pain to End — Now! Carving Out the Time and Energy to Grieve

In response to Widows – Honor The Pain, No Need To “Suck It Up”, Suzy Aguilar writes, “My husband passed away on May 30, 2008 — yes 5 months ago. I still feel numb and a big empty hole in my heart. He was also my high school sweetheart. I am 41, and he was 43 — we had 3 beautiful daughters, including a set of twins! Reading these posts is making me realize I am not alone and only other widows can truly understand my pain, a pain nobody else will ever understand. Thank you all […]

(Not So) Happy Birthday! Dealing with Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Traumatic Dates

Whether it is the birthday of your spouse who has died, your wedding anniversary, or even the anniversary of the death, traumatic dates bring back so many memories, and also bring up so many feelings of loss and sadness. But, they can also give us a chance to mark our progress of healing. These events mark not just another date on the calendar but they are significant milestones within our personal healing journey. Our lives are put on pause, at any stage of our grief journey; in order to honor our lost loved ones. Birthdays, anniversaries and those other […]

He Loved those Slippers — Dealing with the Belongings of Your Departed Spouse

The closet full of his shirts, ties, jackets and slacks. His well worn slippers next to his side of the bed. His wallet and eyeglasses. His razor and toothbrush. The tool chest in the garage. His tennis racket. His harmonica collection and guitars. His treasured complete set of vintage Beatles imports on vinyl. All those science fiction books that fill more than half of our bookcases. What do we do with all the “stuff” that belonged to our spouse who has died? So many people stand ready to quickly offer glib advice […]

When Things Go to Hell in a Handbasket — Coping with the Financial Aspects of Spouse Loss

For most of our 20 years of marriage, Steve very capably handled all the finances and paperwork for our household. He brought his skills as an accountant and legal librarian to managing all of our accounts, organizing all of our paperwork and files, handling all the taxes and associated documentation, and making sure all the bills were paid on time each month. Like almost everything else he did, he made it seem effortless. I remember breezily watching him zip his way around Quicken, and always pretended to be interested when he’d show me the latest budget he’d created, […]

Doesn’t God Listen? — Coming To Grips With The Spiritual Aspects Of Spouse Loss

My prayers started the moment Steve was diagnosed with esophageal cancer: “Please God, please, send a miracle. Let him be in the 15% of those who statistically beat this cancer. God, I beg you to restore Steve to health, please heal him completely, as you have so many times in the past.” This and similar fervently issued prayers were to continue even up to the day Steve died, exactly six months later. Those of us who have lost our spouses despite prayers such as these have experienced first-hand one part of how grief and loss affects […]

His Death Shattered Me — How Spouse Loss Affects Us Physically

When Steve died several years ago, I felt so lost… He’d been diagnosed six month earlier, but for each of those days, I kept expecting (and praying) that a miracle would happen, that he’d bounce back as he’d always done when he’d encountered acute health crises earlier, and that soon we’d be back on our path, living our dreams. His death shattered me — I felt as if I’d been jolted with thousands of amps of electricity, as if all the connections in my brain had been disconnected. My body felt like it was falling apart. I was convinced that […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.