By Mitch Carmody —
When I hear of the death of a high profile individual, it always turns my head. But do I mourn?? Do I lament? Do I cry in public?? In most cases, I do not. I am far enough detached from the individual that I do not personally lament the loss. The loss does not profoundly affect my life; I can deal with it intellectually and move on with my day. How else could one read the paper or watch the evening news and not be heartbroken every night? Every day is so full of death and sorrow.
The death of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett hits the headlines and we are shocked, totally caught by surprise. Public lamentations begin almost immediately across the world. Some people react to the death at almost inconsable levels and yet never met the person. How does that happen?
When JFK was assassinated, it did not affect me profoundly except for the fact I could not watch most of my favorite TV shows for awhile. I was only 8 years old. Five years later, in 1968, when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, my spirit took a hard hit; how could someone who stood for so much goodness be gunned down like that? How could someone responsible for so much positive change for humanity and our country be so easily slaughtered?
When John Lennon was murdered, it hit me hard. Why? Why do the good people have to die? He stood for peace on earth, brotherhood, love. How could this happen? I mourned his loss because of what he accomplished, what he stood for and how he changed my life.
On September 11th, 2001, America and the world at large experienced what I call spectacular grief. Whether it’s genocide in Rwanda, a cult massacre in Jones Town Guyana, or a school massacre as was witnessed at Columbine, we as a country experience the loss together as a group.
This togetherness of spirit becomes an immediate synergistic phenomenon that seems to amplify and personify the experience as if it were our own personal loss, and we feel it deeply. We experience high levels of lamentations and grief emotions for someone we have never met. For those with previous loss, it may bring back many emotions still roiling beneath the surface. Those that have never experienced a close personal loss can get a glimpse the horror.
Here’s what’s important: the grief we feel is real.
After suffering many familial losses from a young age and ultimately with the death of his nine year old son of cancer in 1987 Mitch Carmody, has struggled with the grief journey and how grief is processed and perceived in this country.? He published a book in 2002 called Letters To My Son, a journey through grief. The book has now reached the bereaved in every state and 7 other countries. From the book’s success he now travels locally and around the country lecturing on the grief process and/or conducting workshops on surviving the loss of a loved one. He has also conducted a variety of workshops with The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA as well as a sought after speaker for many keynote presentations. As a trained hospice volunteer, he has also helped many loved ones and their families through the dying process. Mitch has published several articles in national bereavement periodicals, is a frequent contributor to TCF Atlanta On-line and currently a staff writer for Living with Loss Magazine. Through email correspondence on his website he counsels the bereaved on a daily basis.
Tags: Depression, grief, hope, Multiple Deaths
