Open to Hope Articles
Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 3,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.
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Coming Out of a ‘Cold Winter of Grief’
March 18, 2010
For three months this winter, the mid-Atlantic was locked in a hard freeze. The ground was solid, trees bare, and the flower beds were buried under dirt-encrusted snow. Birds were mobbing the feeder out back, and I wondered how they manage to survive weather like that. At this season, in the months after my Bonnie died, the barrenness of the landscape mirrored my inner bleakness. I described that in Loving Grief: When we scattered the ashes, the land was bare and brown and dry and cold. And we ourselves felt bare and cold. We were feeling the death in us, […]
The Road Back from Loss Leads to Grief-Counseling Career
March 17, 2010
The road back from any loss is crooked and wide, and sometimes even circular. My experiences as a primary caregiver in my home (with hospice support) with my husband, my father, and my female best friend all affected me in different ways. I’ve read that the depth of grief is equal to the degree and depth of love and caring for that person. I was devastated with the loss of my husband, grieved little for my harsh father, and still long for my friend. Yes, death or other losses can knock us flat on our backs. In my case, it […]
Gaining Control of Your Finances After Spouse-Loss
March 16, 2010
I’m often invited to financial seminar/dinner meetings for seniors, but I didn’t start attending them until I became a widow. That’s when I realized I must understand exactly how much money I have, what’s happening to it, and how I can make sure it lasts as long as I do. One of the best ways to work through the grief of widowhood is to gain control of your finances. In many cases that helps make you feel “safe” again. Daniel O. Fisher, Certified Senior Adviser, of Wilmette IL, shed light on that subject last week when he presented a talk about […]
A Poetic Look at Men and Grieving
March 4, 2010
My wife died of ALS; during her final 13 months, my mom and dad also died. It was almost overwhelming, and I learned more grieving than I ever thought I would. My most effective way of dealing with this was writing and the strongest feelings emerged as poetry. In the months following, I worked with others as I was going on my own grieving journey. How men dealt with things differently became all too evident. How they handled grieving can be summarized in three poems I wrote: WE TRY TO FOOL OURSELVES When we are grieving, often times, There’s obstacles […]
Dinner as a Widow: Don’t Carry Out
March 1, 2010
After my husband died, I began to eat “carry out dinners.” And I ate them alone, sitting on the couch in the den. Then one night, while I was standing in a Mexican restaurant waiting for my order, the man asked if I wanted the meal for “carry out or eating in.” I looked around and thought, “I deserve to eat in this restaurant with others, even though my husband died.” I said, “IN!” and then I sat down at a table. Other widows I’ve spoken to have had a similar experience. And they agreed that it felt so nice to finally sit down […]
The Weight of Wishing
February 26, 2010
Every once in awhile, I am able to see myself through another person’s eyes. It’s sort of like looking up and seeing an image in a mirror, and then realizing the face that is reflected there is your own. The observations from these unguarded moments usually provide some serious food for thought. Recently I went to see the movie Brothers. I will leave out the movie review, but will tell you that I would probably not have watched this show had I not been with a friend who really wanted to see the film. Brief synopsis: An excellent family man who […]
Kate Braestrup: Loss of a Spouse
February 25, 2010
Kate talks keeping her family together after the death of her husband and about her work as a chaplin to search and rescue workers. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/audio.opentohope.com/2010/02/Kate_Braestrup_022510.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
‘I Buy Myself a Dozen Cream Roses’
February 4, 2010
That first Valentine’s Day after Rhod died was very difficult for me. This had been our special day and now he was gone. He died on Feb 6, 1999, and eight days later it was Valentine’s Day! I was angry! I was sad. I was lonely. In our 30 years together, Rhod always showered me with gifts and little surprises. On one occasion, he gave me a toy shaped like a heart with diamond earrings attached to it. Every year, he gave me a gigantic card with beautiful words along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s day. After […]
For Widow, Valentine’s Day has Evolved
February 2, 2010
Over the years, my experience around Valentine’s Day has softened and shifted focus. The first year after my husband’s death, I wanted to crawl in a hole the minute I saw that first red and pink heart-shaped display in the grocery store. On February 14th, I didn’t answer my phone and avoided the efforts of well-meaning friends and family to “get me through” the day. I had every reason to wallow in sadness, and I took the opportunity to feel the pain of my loss head-on. The next year, I managed to create a space for myself to privately remember […]
