After Miscarriage, Husband Wonders When It’s Time to Try Again

Dear Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi,

My wife, who is 35, miscarried after two months. It has been four months and she is still talking about the baby and is stressed about getting pregnant again. Is this normal? I just think we should get on with it and try again. We aren’t getting any younger.

Sincerely,

Ron from Ft. Lauderdale

Gloria and Heidi respond:
Dear Ron: We are so sorry to hear about both your loss and your wife’s loss. Miscarriage is often unacknowledged by society, yet it is a very real and painful loss. We are always impressed when men e-mail us with concerns regarding their spouses. While we don’t know the circumstances surrounding your wife’s miscarriage, we do know that women make very strong connections with their babies while pregnant. I would suggest talking openly with your wife about the loss of her pregnancy and her concerns and fears around becoming pregnant again. We would also suggest that she talk to her Doctor about her concerns. Your wife has gone through a lot both physically and emotionally and her body is still adjusting to the hormonal as well as physical stress of the miscarriage. Continue being patient and supportive and with time she will most likely get to a point where she is ready to become pregnant again.

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