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When Death Comes Quickly

Posted on March 13, 2020 - by Larry Patten

This is an excerpt from Larry Patten’s A Companion for the Hospice Journey which is available on Amazon or though his website Hospice Matters. What about a loved one who dies quickly? I don’t mean sudden, traumatic deaths such as fatal accidents, natural disasters like wherever the most recent earthquake has hit, or from bullets in war zones (and sadly in schools, at concerts, and on city streets). What about the 30% of deaths in hospice that occur within seven days? And within those national averages, some patients are in hospice for barely 24 hours. Being with a hospice for […]

Does Unresolved Grief Cause Divorce?

Posted on March 11, 2020 - by Gloria Horsley

A recent Facebook Live discussion focused on the issue of whether unresolved grief can become a point of division in a relationship and become so problematic that it leads to divorce. However, beyond just impacting those in the direct relationship, the aftermath can also involve other family members. Heidi and I received a question from Julia that led us to choose this topic for discussion. She shared with us that her parents were getting divorced after 40 years of marriage because neither of them had been happy since they lost their daughter — Julia’s sister — 15 years prior. The […]

Unthinkable

Posted on March 9, 2020 - by Lois Schaffer

Excerpted from The Unthinkable: Life, Loss and a Mother’s Mission to Ban Illegal Guns, available on Amazon. Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life without them is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. — Langston Hughes I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – myth is more potent than history – dreams are more powerful than facts – hope always triumphs over experience – laughter is the cure for grief – love is stronger than death. — Robert Fulghum Dreams reflect the essence of the innermost thoughts and feelings of the human soul. In some […]

Coronavirus Versus 9/11 Fear is Real

Posted on March 9, 2020 - by Gloria Horsley

. In today’s Facebook Live discussion, Heidi and I talked about the similarities in feeling between the current Coronavirus epidemic and 9/11 in 2001. In both situations, there is fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and concern over death and dying. Although 9/11 was more sudden than the Coronavirus epidemic has been building over time. Both have released triggers in many people related to past losses. For example, a child who lost a parent may now fear that the Coronavirus may take their other parent away. Even those that suffered during 9/11 are starting to feel anxiety and dread return. This is especially […]

Three-Year-Old Brings Message from Deceased Brother

Posted on March 8, 2020 - by Christine Duminiak

This is an excerpt from Heaven Talks To Children, which is available on Amazon “Shockingly, [my 3-year old son Trever] said that [our deceased son] Tyler was not up in the sky, but was sitting on the ground beside us, and that Tyler had told him to tell Daddy and me not to cry on Monday. Trevor then asked me what would happen on Monday. I told him about the plans for Tyler’s burial. He cried a bit, but as he looked to our right he nodded and smiled. I asked “Why are you smiling?” He said, “Tyler won’t be […]

Ground Hog Days

Posted on March 5, 2020 - by Neal Raisman

This is an excerpt from Standing on One Leg by Neal Raisman available from the author at iduhpres@hotmail.com The first weeks and months were like the movie, Groundhog Day. I began each day the same way. Waking. Feeling a free floating anger. Seeing his body on the floor and shuddering in the reality of his death. Struggling to push myself out of bed. Not wanting to get up. The bed and sleep being the only place and time when I could momentarily forget reality. Sleep became a blessing. A time when the horror of that day did not repeat itself […]

Can Grief Be As Silent as Death Itself?

Posted on March 2, 2020 - by Neal Raisman

This is an excerpt from Standing on One Leg by Neal Raisman available from the author at iduhpres@hotmail.com Loss is not always the screaming in the halls of the hospital. Or at the crash. Scene of the crime. Death is often not dramatic. Not as dramatic as my 26-year-old son lying dead on his bedroom floor. No. It often comes quite away from the living. Quietly. Taking without anyone knowing. Maybe even the victim. Sudden and quiet. No screams. No sudden awareness. Forget angels and choirs. Bright light or tunnels. Just a sudden nothing and quiet to be shattered by […]

GPS: Finding Your Way Back

Posted on February 29, 2020 - by Fran Gerstein

This is an excerpt from Grief From the Inside Out: Creating Meaning Around the Loss of a Child from Substance Abuse or Suicide, By Fran Gerstein, MSW, LCSW. It is available through Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999563513/ GPS When I lost my child a small, quavering voice appeared— not quite mine, not quite not mine. It announced, through static, that I was being rerouted. I tried to follow the orange signs marked Detour but they led me to the edge of a cliff. Still trusting and obedient, I drove right off. When I regained consciousness, I lay there for […]

Embracing Quiet on the Grief Journey

Posted on February 28, 2020 - by Harriet Hodgson

This is an excerpt from Happy Again! Your New and Meaningful Life After Loss, available from Amazon. Understanding yourself helps you recover from loss. You may call this self-awareness or “emotional intelligence,” a term coined by Dr. Daniel Goleman. In his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ, Goleman explains the basics of the term. He thinks self-awareness involves recognizing strengths and weaknesses “and seeing yourself in a positive but realistic light.” Being self-aware helps you avoid pitfalls. Similarly, a lack of self-awareness can lead you straight to them. Since I was a small child I have […]

The 5 Stages of Grief and Coping Strategies

Posted on February 28, 2020 - by Gloria Horsley

At some point in each of our lives, we will experience grief — sometimes, more than once. And, when we do, each grief experience is unique to us, as individuals. We have our own perspective, beliefs, and feelings that impact the length of the grieving process. And, we each have personal triggers that can bring that grief back to the surface. However, one of the existing theories on grief provides a good framework for understanding the overall grieving process. Developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the five stages of grief model continues to be the go-to framework for understanding how grief moves […]