In 1968 my brother, Danny who was 19 years old was killed in Vietnam. At the time, I was 15 years old. His helicopter was shot down and according to eye witnesses exploded in mid-air and then landed on the banks of a river. Because of heavy, enemy ground fire his body was never recovered. To date, he is listed as MIA (Missing in Action). After the loss of my brother several searches were conducted over the years, but no…
Adrianne writes in: Do you have any audios in your archive that deals with how to handle your in-laws after your husband dies? My husband died 2 years ago from cancer. Prior to his passing, his siblings became angry with him because he set limitations on visits during his battle due to his chemo. They felt they should come and visit with him as much as they wanted. But it wasn't what my husband wanted. So due to the anger…
My first book, The Glass Table, for children 8-12 years, has just launched today on Amazon.com. In The Glass Table, fourteen-year-old Jack Irwin-Hunter hikes to Lake Como after running away from home. Since his younger brother was killed in a tragic accident, Jack has suffered alone while his parents mourned their loss. He believes his parents no longer care about him—his mother is always crying and clutching a photo of Colby, and his father wanders their garden aimlessly. As a…
I gathered the courage to call the man who sat in the car with my brother while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. The man was a fireman, and he was off duty, painting a house to earn extra money, when he saw the accident. He jumped off of the ladder and rushed over to the car. He crawled inside the car and knocked out the windshield, because the driver was panicking and felt claustrophobic. The driver was my…
Two a.m., Wednesday, March 17, 1979: a deathly knock on our front door disturbed the sleeping, and divided lives into two parts. Before Paul and after Paul. I was sixteen. Paul was two months past his seventeenth birthday. His driver’s license was two months old, as was his motorbike. My mother had bought it for him for his birthday, with justified reluctance. But he was persistent, and who could resist his charms. Two policemen delivered the news. My mother responded by rocking back…
When my brother Rod killed himself the grief itself made me feel like I was going crazy. One minute I was okay and calm, the next I was hysterical. If we are in the depths of loss and grief, the intense emotions and sometimes lack of them often make us wonder, “Am I all right?” or “Am I doing this correctly?” Most of want to know we are doing something properly-- even grieving. Think about it, that’s why there are…
Writing has always been very therapeutic for me. I enjoy writing and especially enjoy writing poems. Writing allows me to express my fears, my sadness, my anger and yes, my happiness. Shortly, after my brother’s death I went in to a deep depression. I was blessed to have received therapy and apply what I had learned in ways that now benefit me. One of the best tools I learned was how to journal. Writing helps me express my feelings on…
By Allison Daily -- Does grief end? It's a question that varies for each person and depends in part on the person's relationship to the one who has died. The death of a child is different than that of a parent or grandparent. The death of a spouse is different from that of a sibling or best friend. Men handle grief differently than women do. I lost my brother Rod to suicide. I got the call, heard the gory details, and had to get…
Michael writes in: My sister is dying of breast cancer. I don't know how to be with her. I want to say something but so far I only speak to myself. John Pete resonds: Hi Michael. It can be very difficult to be with someone who is dying and we often try too hard to think of the "right" things to say or do. It can help to think about how you would want to be treated in their situation. Dying is not…
I've been a bedside volunteer for more than five years, sitting with dying patients and their families once or twice a week for up to four continuous hours. Sometimes I stay with patients overnight. Regardless of how demanding my responsibilities are, I know that when I leave the bedside, I'll have to take three to six days to "recover." It's a time to prepare myself for the next week's bedside activities that can range from conversing about life to witnessing…