The Quiet Work of Healing After Loss

    Grief Changes You – Awareness Helps You to Rebuild Loss changes you. It’s natural to feel lonely and unsure when someone important is no longer there. When depression that follows loss is part of the picture, everything can feel heavier and harder to move through. For a long time, that weight can feel constant – like you’re moving through fog. Separation can also create a space you don’t recognize, but it can also help you see yourself without old patterns…

    Sibling Loss: Why Surviving Brothers and Sisters Are the Forgotten Grievers

    When a sibling dies, you don't just lose a brother or sister. You lose your oldest witness. The keeper of your childhood. The person who knew the family you came from in the same bones-deep way that you did. The one who was supposed to walk into old age beside you, swapping stories about what your parents were really like. And yet, when a sibling dies, the world tends to ask, "How are your parents holding up?" I lost my…

    Mother’s Day After Loss: 9 Compassionate Ways to Cope with Grief on a Tender Holiday

    There is a particular ache that arrives with Mother's Day after loss. The greeting cards in the grocery store. The brunch reservations everyone seems to be making. The social media posts that begin to fill your feed days before the holiday even arrives. For those of us who are grieving, Mother's Day can feel less like a celebration and more like a tender, exposed nerve. If you have lost your mother, this day can feel like an annual reminder of…

    The Things You Loved Most

     Have you ever lost someone close, and in the brain fog of grief, wondered if you might forget some of the things you loved most about them? Their infectious belly laugh, extravagant generosity, or maybe their unconditional love for people? I get it.   Since losing several of my closest and favorite family members- my beloved Mom, Dad, Nana, sister-in-love, Kay, and most recently, my “splendiferous” (his word) brother Mike, I’ve been trying to dig deep and remember exactly what…

    Grief Doesn’t End: My Brother’s Birthday and the Pain of Secondary Loss

    Monday is my brother's birthday, and he has been gone for almost four years. I have been more emotional for weeks, and I didn’t even realize it; it hit me like a brick wall the other day. Grief is crazy like that; how it can just come in and take over like a bad storm, and you don’t even realize it. Today I got a text from his wife, in a group chat with my other brother and his wife.…

    Skating for My Beloved Sisters

    Skating is a sport I shared with my beloved sisters. When we were young girls, we proudly carried our skates in plaid bags and raced to be the first ones on the ice. Margie, my older sister, the most talented, Jane, the youngest, was athletic, and I, the middle sister, a bit of a klutz. Little did I know that skating would become the chord that would bind me, honor, and remember, and forever find peace and joy with my…

    Memories and Messages. Merry Christmas from the Other Side

    Christmas had always been a special time for me. The anticipation of Christmas day - decorating the tree and house, buying presents, beautiful food and spending time with family. But over time, Christmas has lost its sparkle. While I still appreciate the day with people I love – it no longer holds the same energy as years before. The excitement has been replaced more with a time for reflection and a longing for times gone by. Grief has woven her…

    The Silence After Goodbye: My Brother’s Suicide and the Gifts He Left Behind

    Drastically, his mental state had deteriorated.  Now I see it clearly: my brother was incredibly strong for holding on as long as he did. He carried the weight for over a decade, ever since I left him behind when I immigrated to Canada.  Conditioned to live by abandoning his own needs and silencing his own dreams, he poured all his energy into everyone else.  Facing my own suicidal thoughts became the heaviest burden of all. Only later did I learn…

    Echoes of Earlier Losses

    Echoes of Earlier Losses Unfortunately, many of us have experienced compound grief from multiple losses – either more than one sibling, a child/sibling, sibling/parent, sibling/grandchild, or partner/child. The death of my father three decades after losing my beloved sisters Margie and Jane, triggered feelings I kept dormant. When Margie and Jane died, I didn’t know what grief was. Siblings are the forgotten mourners and take on the role of caretakers. I fast tracked life, ignoring my own grief. I don’t…

    Caring for Surviving Siblings

    Caring for Surviving Siblings  A decade ago, I was fortunate to meet Heidi Horsley, a fellow surviving sibling and philanthropist. We bonded immediately. After years of being alone in my grief, I was grateful to connect with individuals who understand, are compassionate, speak the same language, and are members of the same club. Thanks to Heidi, who is executive director of Open to Hope, this year marks a decade of me contributing articles for this website. Writing became a vital…