Turkey, Cranberry Sauce and Memories

    The holiday season has arrived and I welcome it! I open my arms to the experience of feeling excited and simultaneously having the sensation of a throat constricting grief – well-known visitors during the holidays.  Together, bitter and sweet emotions have given my life vibrancy I would have least expected, especially when my brother died sixteen years ago. Indeed, I would have gladly cast off any emotions that are the antithesis of joy or happiness.  And as an eight-year-old at…

    Prepare to Make it Through the Holidays

    With the holidays fast approaching, I think about last Christmas. Last year was the first Christmas without my sister.  Personally, I felt like skipping over the entire season.  I knew in my heart that others were depending on me to help make the holidays bearable, so I helped. I did ask less of myself though.  I did most of my shopping online. When I did go out to the malls I was surrounded by happy, laughing people and I felt…

    My Sister’s Murder: The Questions Continue

    On September 18th, my sister, Sandra, was found dead in her home. It was ruled a homicide later that day. Within a few days we had received the answers to two of our questions. When and How. The time of death was recorded as shortly after 9 am, when she was pronounced dead in her home. My other two sisters and I will always believe she died the night before, September 17. We also found out how she died. Stab…

    Make Time to Grieve, and Celebrate, During the Holidays

    When your heart is broken in grief, you’re not sure how you are going to get through the next day, much less the holidays. Holidays should be spent with the ones we love. It’s a time of celebration, of giving to those we care about. So, if your loved one has died, please don’t think I am in any way making light of the hole you must feel in the center of your being. I only wish to offer ways…

    Researcher Seeks Sibling-Loss Survivors

    My name is Kaitlin Carrozza, and I am a doctoral student at Loyola University in Maryland. I am completing my dissertation on sibling loss, and I'd like your help with my study. The current study investigates individuals' pattern of relating to others, how they cope following the death of a sibling, and their relationship satisfaction. If you have experienced the death of a sibling, and are interested in expanding our knowledge about the experience of sibling loss, then you would…

    Using Antidepressant Medication in Grief

    Question from a Reader: About four weeks ago, I came off an antidepressant which allowed the unresolved grief issues over my brother's death to surface. I believe that the antidepressant kept me from fully grieving his loss, which I am in the process of doing now.  A colleague, therapist, and good friend who has known me over the years knows exactly where I am and says perhaps just a small dosage of an antidepressant (not the one that I was…

    Six Months After Sister’s Murder, an Arrest and More Questions

    When my sister was murdered in her home in September of 2009, my life changed forever. The questions that flood your mind in these circumstances are unbearable. Not knowing who murdered my sister was all-consuming. Every day, I waited for my phone to ring, to hear the detective's voice telling me an arrest was made. I tried to prepare myself for that day. How would I react? Would I be overjoyed? Would I feel relief? There is no script for…

    Following Sister’s Murder, Questions Abound

    How many of us have watched the news, listened to the terrible details of a homicide and thought to ourselves "that poor family"? I would venture to say most of us have had that thought. I did. I would hear news like that think to myself or say to my husband, "that poor family," and my life continued on. On September 18, 2009, I unfortunately became one of those poor families. My sister was found dead in her home. Her…

    Cancer Catches Up With Military Hero

    As told by Anthony J. Amoroso: Heroes aren't supposed to be ordinary.  Yet that's what my brother was:  an ordinary guy living his life the best he knew. If he was just an ordinary guy, what was it that made him a hero?  He was my big brother. We were a large Italian family in Boston:  Angelo and I had five sisters.  It was rare and wonderful when we finally got our turn in the one bathroom in our house!…

    First Hours After a Sister’s Murder: Big Questions

    Many people have suffered some kind of loss of a loved one through death.  Personally, I've lost both sets of grandparents, my father, two uncles and four aunts, not to mention family friends. But nothing prepared me for the questions -- and complications -- that followed my sister's death. My sister died on September 18, 2009 .  She was found in her home on the bathroom floor. My sister and I shared a wonderful relationship, one of unconditional love and…