The following are introductory remarks by Peggy Sapphire, author of two poetry collections (A Possible Explanation, Partisan Press, In the End a Circle, Antrim House ’09).
I got into the field of death and dying to explore of my own “disenfranchised grief. In my case, my ex-spouse, diagnosed over the last seven years, with two terminal illnesses, has caused an extended and more enlightened consideration of the impact of his death on the significant period of our marriage on my personal history.
The writing process was both healing and revelatory. Healing can include creativity, rituals or any other ideas you may have.
Hope” is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—
And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—
I’ve heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.
Widowed 9 months ago after a glorious 10-year second marriage. Initially, while aware of the pain and void I felt at his passing, I felt somewhat optimistic about my remaining time here. I relocated to a warmer climate and I looked forward to travel, visits from family and friends. I have supportive in-laws where I am now, but against one of my husband’s last wishes, I opened my home to my youngest daughter and her 15-mo old son. The daughter has a strong and abrasive personality. I love having the time w/my grandson, since my other grands are far away and I am only occasionally involved in their lives. I fear my initial hope for my life will be many years in the coming-if ever. I believe I have moved from grief into depression- I was diagnosed with PTSD three years ago after my husband suffered a traumatic illness. My reasoning then became unreliable- I have been on meds since then and generally doing ok. But, I see no joy in my future-in fact I find myself hoping I die soon. Wow- there it is in black and white… I am tired of living.
Sounds like you have a lot going on with your family. I would suggest that you go to the Huffington Post and read my article on spouse loss. It is talking about the frustration that people have after losing a spouse. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gloria-horsley/spousal-dea… Best wishes.