Bereavement, Death of a Child, Open to Hope, Self Care, Your Grief

The Threshold of Truth

Friday, July 10, 2026

When you meet someone new, it’s the heat that won’t break, the dry cleaner down the street that’s too expensive,  how you take your coffee.    We sat over dinner.  He sent the dish back—  too spicy, he said,  as if it were the dish  that missed the mark.    They brought something softer. He thanked them,  moved on.    So did I.    The questions came  in their usual spacing—  easy enough  to keep things level.    He asks it  and reaches for his glass  before I answer.    How many children?    I feel the ice in my […]

Death of a Sibling, Open to Hope

Forgiveness

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

  I reread the rabbi’s eulogy from my beloved sister Jane’s funeral. He said,  “There is no satisfactory answer to understanding why bad things happen to good people. Not all questions have answers. Unanswered “whys” are part of life. The way to face tragedy is with love. Use the love we had for Jane to forgive ourselves.” Focusing on his words helped me knock down roadblocks to forgive myself.” Forgiveness for me was not a quick fix, magic bullet, instant gratification, but a long, arduous triathlon. I needed to program my heart and mind in sync to forgive myself and […]

Open to Hope

The Poem Was The Meaning

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

After my son died, I did not lose the ability to speak. I could answer questions, describe what had happened, and walk someone through the sequence of events in a way that sounded complete. I could even say it plainly: I got a call from a stranger, three thousand miles away, telling me my son was dead. I sat in my office chair, frozen. That is not something I’ll forget. On the surface, nothing was wrong with my language. Words still worked for logistics—phone calls, explanations, the details people needed. I could confirm, clarify, repeat. But when it came to […]

Open to Hope, Self Care, Your Grief

The Ash Rose Grief, Art, and Love that Transforms

Thursday, December 25, 2025

In our culture, grief is often something we are expected to move through quietly and efficiently. After the funeral, after the condolences fade, families are handed the ashes of someone they love and then left largely on their own to figure out what healing looks like. There is an unspoken expectation of “closure,” as if love ends where a life does. But what if grief is not something to close, but something to continue? I came to this question through two worlds that have shaped my life – hospice nursing and the arts. As a hospice nurse, I have sat […]

Open to Hope, Your Grief

Tasks of Grief

Saturday, October 25, 2025

Some things in life just go together like the dropped ice cream on the ground and a toddler’s cry or a young son’s first goodbye and a mother’s tears. When the first one occurs, it is followed by the second. It is more than an expectation, more than most of the time. It actually “comes with the territory” of dropped ice cream or a son’s good-bye. In a similar fashion, tasks of life are things that are more than expectations. They are things that “come with the territory”: autumn will come each year and leaves will be raked, the dryer […]

Children & Teens, Death of a Child

The Big Red Purse

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Andrea, I was hoping you could lend me one of your big purses. I opened the closet where they are stored. To my disappointment, the big ones I remember were not there. I’m not sure, perhaps I lent them on your behalf, and my grief brain doesn’t remember. At first, I was disappointed and sad, a minor frustration compared to the grief I carry daily, but it caused me to pause. I know you understand. I started to look in the closet quietly, and my eyes focused on the purse you had that day—the beautiful lilac-colored one with darker purple […]

Bereavement

The Sounds of Grief

Monday, August 11, 2025

The Sounds of Grief Since my mom died, I’ve been cataloguing the sounds of grief. So far, I’ve documented five.   Sound I. My immediate, acute grief had a specific sound. You might recognize it. If you’ve ever balled up a soft object, buried your face in it, and screamed with all your might, this particular grief sound will carry a note of familiarity. I didn’t make it in time to say goodbye to my mom in the hospital room. So I said it later, while she lay on a slab in the morgue. When I got home, I walked […]

Bereavement

Grief is Not a Neat Package

Monday, July 7, 2025

Grief is Not a Neat Package I hate grieving. There. I said it. A part of me did, actually. The part that abhors the tears I shed while writing this book. But I am not the only one with parts. Your soul comes prepackaged with them too. Have you noticed the maelstrom of reactions following your loss? Perhaps maintaining concentration has been hard, as your mind keeps slipping to memories of the deceased or fears about tomorrow. Your digestive system feels wonky. Reminders of your loss spur shame, guilt, perhaps even both. Maybe you avoid crying at all costs. These […]

Death of a Spouse

Fingerprints: Losing a Husband, Living with Grief

Monday, June 30, 2025

Losing a Husband When he used to take off his socks next to our bed and throw them ceremoniously to the cork floor, he would spread the fingers of his chubby peasant hands on the wall of our bedroom to keep his balance before rocketing into bed beside me. It took at least three years to have a finished wall in that bedroom. Seeing his greasy fingerprints all over my carefully chosen hue of green with a matte finish made me grouchy. Now, I recline with four pillows surrounding me as I look at his fingerprints, which are almost all […]

Bereavement

Norman Rockwell Moment

Monday, June 16, 2025

Norman Rockwell Moment The reason I named this short story “Norman Rockwell Moment” will become apparent at the end of my story. So, you’ll have to read it to the end to find out. As a Hospice Chaplain, there are times I’m on call overnight for several nights a week. It was early one morning when I heard my phone ringing. You see, I set it close to my side of the bed to ensure I didn’t miss a call and wouldn’t wake up my wife. A little about how I act when I’m on call: I find that I […]