How long does grief last? There is no fixed deadline, but research reveals clear patterns in how most people move through loss. Here’s what the science shows about grief timelines and why “getting over it” is the wrong goal.
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Miscarriage and pregnancy loss carry a particular kind of grief: real, profound, and often hidden from the wider world. Here are 7 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to grieve a miscarriage and honor the love you carried for a baby who never came home.
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Broken heart syndrome is a real, temporary heart condition that intense grief or shock can trigger, mimicking a heart attack. Here’s what the science says, who is most at risk, and when to seek emergency care.
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Dear Family, There were so many things we didn’t get to do, and our time together was cut short. Physical and mental ailments prevented us from living out all the plans we made, but we still made the most of our time together. Y’all beat the odds and lived longer than anyone expected for people in your condition. God didn’t answer my prayers to take away the sicknesses, but He granted me favor through temporary healings and the blessing of extended time. You slowly slipped away. Year by year, month by month, and day by day, until I was somehow […]
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Grief and guilt are deeply intertwined — “what if” and “if only” haunt many grieving people. Here’s why guilt is such a common part of loss, the different forms it takes, and how to release blame you were never meant to carry.
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Crying and grief are deeply connected, but the relationship is complicated. Some bereaved people cry constantly; others can’t seem to cry at all. Here’s what the science actually says about crying in grief, and 6 ways to honor your own pattern — whatever it looks like.
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Delayed grief is when mourning arrives long after a loss — months or even years later, sometimes triggered by something small. Here’s why grief gets postponed, what commonly unlocks it, and why a late-arriving grief is still normal.
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Grieving teenagers often mourn in ways adults misread — through anger, withdrawal, or seeming indifference. Here’s how teens grieve, what they need, and how parents and caregivers can support a grieving adolescent.
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It is a well-documented phenomenon: a person loses a limb, yet they can still feel it. The brain continues to fire signals to a hand or a leg that is no longer there. They reach for objects with fingers that do not exist or try to stand on a foot that has been gone for years. The nerves are firing based on a map of the body that has not been updated. When I lost my wife, Bonnie, six years ago, I discovered that grief creates its own version of a phantom limb. Except, I did not just lose a […]
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Disenfranchised grief is loss that society doesn’t fully acknowledge — a pet, a miscarriage, an ex, an estranged parent. Here’s what disenfranchised grief means, why it’s so isolating, and why your grief is valid even when others don’t see it.
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Caregiver grief is a complex, layered mourning that unfolds both during and after a loved one’s long illness. Here’s why caregivers grieve so uniquely, the guilt and relief that often follow, and how to heal after the caregiving ends.
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Grief and faith are deeply connected — loss can shake your beliefs or deepen them, sometimes both at once. Here’s how grief affects spirituality, why doubt is normal, and how faith can become a source of comfort in mourning.
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Grief in marriage can be devastating when you and your partner grieve differently. After losing a child, parent, or other shared loved one, couples often find themselves out of sync. Here are 8 compassionate ways to navigate grief in marriage and protect the relationship.
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Grief rituals aren’t just tradition — research shows they genuinely help us cope with loss. Here’s why rituals ease grief, ideas for creating your own meaningful memorials, and how small acts of remembrance can bring comfort.
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As I drifted off to sleep last night, my heart hummed with a familiar warmth and, in its secret way, sent out a quiet invitation to those nocturnal angels who watch over us at night. I found myself in one of those quasi-dream states in which most of me was dreaming, but there was a sliver of awareness that could witness what unfolds. I was standing alone in the gauzy grey of twilight, underneath a large exterior deck of a familiar ski lodge from my childhood. I don’t know what I was doing there but the mood was expectant, preparatory. […]
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I may be the last person in the world who didn’t know the meaning of life-maxxing. Earlier this week, I came across it for the very first time in a social media post and realized the word embodied everything I believe in and have learned through my grief journey. Life-maxxing (or maxing) started as slang, and now I see it everywhere. On social media, it’s all about maximizing and optimizing mental and physical health, productivity, career, aspirations, and financial success. And yet this word triggers a much deeper meaning for me. It means living life to the fullest because my loved […]
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Grief and depression can look alike, but they are not the same — and knowing the difference matters. Here’s how to tell grief from clinical depression, why they sometimes overlap, and when it’s time to reach out for help.
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The door is easy to miss— a dim recess, knotted and coarse. He kept the room for a long time— some places are made of wood and plaster— this one is made of whatever people bring inside. People pass it every day already elsewhere. If you ask, he gives you the key. Not ceremoniously— just a small warmth from others who came before. The lock turns easily as though expecting them, and the two friends enter. To the first, the room offers nothing— white walls, corners meet in muted shadows, light without direction. She […]
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Talking to children about death is one of the hardest conversations bereaved families face — and one of the most important. Here is an age-by-age guide to talking to kids about death, what language to use, and how to support grieving children of every age.
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When you meet someone new, it’s the heat that won’t break, the dry cleaner down the street that’s too expensive, how you take your coffee. We sat over dinner. He sent the dish back— too spicy, he said, as if it were the dish that missed the mark. They brought something softer. He thanked them, moved on. So did I. The questions came in their usual spacing— easy enough to keep things level. He asks it and reaches for his glass before I answer. How many children? I feel the ice in my […]
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Post-traumatic growth is the scientifically documented experience of being changed for the better — not in spite of grief, but because of it. Here’s what post-traumatic growth actually means, the 5 areas it appears in, and how bereaved people slowly grow around their loss.
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A crowd is the wrong place for a whisper. Sound there is measured in weight, not meaning. A whisper asks something else. For proximity. For stillness. For the small kindness of someone leaning in, of meeting a mild breeze. It does not compete. It waits. It listens for the quiet of a wave braking at ocean’s edge. In a crowd, it is mistaken for absence. But in the dark, when one person turns and another is already listening, it becomes a bridge— not loud enough to impress, only strong enough to cross. POEM GUIDE AND […]
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Our culture presents romantic love in the light of a “one and only.” The person you marry is usually considered the “one true love.” For some people, such a singular concept may be true. However, for people who lose a spouse much too soon, this romanticized idea of love may not be helpful. Widows and widowers may struggle with nagging feelings of disloyalty to their partner when they reach the point of wanting to meet new people or look for a new mate. Feelings of guilt when engaging with a new person can hinder our ability to create another loving […]
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I reread the rabbi’s eulogy from my beloved sister Jane’s funeral. He said, “There is no satisfactory answer to understanding why bad things happen to good people. Not all questions have answers. Unanswered “whys” are part of life. The way to face tragedy is with love. Use the love we had for Jane to forgive ourselves.” Focusing on his words helped me knock down roadblocks to forgive myself.” Forgiveness for me was not a quick fix, magic bullet, instant gratification, but a long, arduous triathlon. I needed to program my heart and mind in sync to forgive myself and […]
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The loneliness of grief is one of the most universal and least talked-about parts of bereavement. Even surrounded by people, you can feel utterly alone. Here are 7 compassionate ways to navigate grief loneliness and slowly build connection through the hardest season.
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Most mornings, the sun rises in grayscale, weighted between two gravities. I fasten the mask again— it’s thin, too thin— hoping it veils what flickers beneath. I’m tired of being praised for holding it together— as though silence is sainthood, as though endurance is free. I wonder, if the colors I see are the same as yours. Is my red the burn of a star too near, my blue a trench that swallows light? Are both tethered by forces I can’t unlearn, by concepts I have no words for? You see a calm ocean; I see depths […]
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After my son died, I did not lose the ability to speak. I could answer questions, describe what had happened, and walk someone through the sequence of events in a way that sounded complete. I could even say it plainly: I got a call from a stranger, three thousand miles away, telling me my son was dead. I sat in my office chair, frozen. That is not something I’ll forget. On the surface, nothing was wrong with my language. Words still worked for logistics—phone calls, explanations, the details people needed. I could confirm, clarify, repeat. But when it came to […]
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Father’s Day after loss can feel like a long, loud reminder of everything you no longer have. Whether you’re grieving your dad, your child, your partner, or another father figure, here are 8 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with grief on Father’s Day, honor the man you loved, and find a quiet thread of hope on a tender day.
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Grief triggers are the unexpected reminders that knock you sideways months or years after a loss — a song on the radio, a familiar smell, a stranger’s phrase. Here’s why grief triggers happen, what to do when one ambushes you, and 8 ways to live alongside them.
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There is a phone booth in the middle of the desert in Joshua Tree. It was installed by Colin Campbell and Gail Lerner in honor of their two children, Ruby and Hart, who died in a 2019 car crash. It lives out there amid the tall cholla cacti and the wind that sweeps circles into the salt and sand. I have been thinking about this telephone lately, of how few spaces we have to offload our grief. In her book, Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss, Hope Edelman offers a handful of events that she believes have the potential to change […]
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There is a moment that comes for many people after loss. It often doesn’t happen at the funeral. It doesn’t happen during the casseroles or the sympathy cards. It comes later. Maybe it’s when you’re driving. Or folding laundry. Or lying awake at 2:17 a.m. And suddenly you think: “I didn’t say everything I meant to say.” Grief is not only about missing someone. It’s also about the unfinished sentences we carry. The “thank you” that never felt big enough. The “I forgive you” we thought we had more time to offer. The “I’m proud of you” that lived in […]
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Grief Changes You – Awareness Helps You to Rebuild Loss changes you. It’s natural to feel lonely and unsure when someone important is no longer there. When depression that follows loss is part of the picture, everything can feel heavier and harder to move through. For a long time, that weight can feel constant – like you’re moving through fog. Separation can also create a space you don’t recognize, but it can also help you see yourself without old patterns or expectations. That distance can feel uncomfortable at first, but it is often where something begins to shift. You start […]
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It’s Spring and you find yourself watching people around you excitedly making plans for their upcoming summer vacations. Instead, what are you doing? You are thinking about how much you miss your loved one. How long has it been? Bereaved people are often asked this question. I ask it of you, “How long has it been?” Now answer this question: “How long does it feel like it’s been?” A common answer is, “On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago.” Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something […]
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Memorial Day is meant to be a day of remembrance, but for those who are actively grieving, the holiday can feel like an emotional ambush. Here’s how to cope with grief on Memorial Day, honor the loved one you lost, and protect your own heart on a day designed for remembering.
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Surviving siblings are sometimes called the forgotten grievers. Brothers and sisters lose their oldest witness, their playmate, the keeper of their childhood — and the world too often expects them to be the strong one. Here’s why sibling loss is uniquely complicated, and 7 ways to honor your grief.
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Mother’s Day after loss can feel like an emotional minefield. Whether you’re grieving your mother, a child, a sibling, or anyone you love, here are 9 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with grief on Mother’s Day, honor your person, and find a quiet thread of hope on a tender holiday.
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Mother’s Day usually stirs up memories of celebrating my Mom with my brothers and sisters when we were kids- showering her with all the snuggles, handmade cards and French toast from the Betty Crocker Boys and Girls Cookbook. Nothing said I Love You like delivering fresh flowers to her (right out of her garden).🌷 This year, though, I’ve been thinking a lot about my dear new friend, Marlene, who will be navigating her first Mother’s Day since the shocking death of her beloved son, BJ. Marlene shared the heart shattering news on social media last year, “No words […]
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Grief seldom moves in straight lines. Rather, grief can be more like the ever-changing weather over the ocean or like the relentless tides against a rocky coast. Some days it is mist. Some days it is stormy. And sometimes, it becomes stone. I meet people years after a loss who share, “I know it has been a long time, but it still feels like yesterday.” Their lives have continued. They work. They parent. They show up. Yet their bodies remain braced, as if the moment of loss is still unfolding. This is where the conversation about psychedelic-assisted grief therapy begins. […]
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When someone you love is grieving, the fear of saying the wrong thing can keep you frozen on the doorstep. Here are 12 things to say to a grieving friend, 5 things to never say, and the simplest, most powerful gift you can offer when words run out.
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Have you ever lost someone close, and in the brain fog of grief, wondered if you might forget some of the things you loved most about them? Their infectious belly laugh, extravagant generosity, or maybe their unconditional love for people? I get it. Since losing several of my closest and favorite family members- my beloved Mom, Dad, Nana, sister-in-love, Kay, and most recently, my “splendiferous” (his word) brother Mike, I’ve been trying to dig deep and remember exactly what it was that made each of their lives so memorable and magnificent. What if you could be the […]
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How many times have we heard it, or perhaps we’ve even said something like it ourselves: “Oh man, the first year after they died was hard, but I think the second year, in some ways, has been even harder.” It doesn’t seem fair, and how can it be fair that the second year of grieving can feel more challenging than the first? If and when that happens for us, it can feel rather crazy-making. Did I do something wrong? Is this normal? How can this even make sense? Good questions, and the answers to the first two are likely “no” […]
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I’ve come to believe that some souls simply aren’t meant to stay here long. And I don’t say that lightly. It’s not something I understand in any earthly way, because truthfully, I don’t. There’s no logic that can explain why someone we love so deeply could be here one day and gone the next. If there’s a reason, I wish I knew it. But I don’t. What I do believe is that we’re each sent here to touch certain lives. To love certain people. To leave imprints that carry on long after we’re gone. Maybe our time, no matter how […]
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Death is the eternal mystery, a mystery that fills our souls with both awe and terror. The consequences of the death of one’s mother is not like any other ordeal in life. Daughters are often faced with resurrecting a new life without a road map, catapulted upon the ruins that remain, while enduring indescribable emotional pain. Based on my experience of my mother’s death, and the shared narratives with other daughters, I have spoken with, this journey is both courageous and terrifying. You will regain your balance, but you will not be the same person. I have never surrendered my […]
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Looking for ways to care for yourself after loss? Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome guest Zaneta Gileno, a grief professional, social worker, and psychotherapist. Zaneta shares how she found self-compassion, purpose, and emotional freedom after losing her parents. She runs Hope Rising Psychotherapy & Wellness, offers individual grief and trauma support, leads retreats, and teaches at Columbia University.
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Are you stuck in a trauma loop of grief? Join Dr. Heidi Horsley and Rebecca Horsley Bara and their guest Ken Breniman. Ken has found psychedelic integration to be helpful for his own healing from his own prolonged grief and that of his clients. He is an author and professor of thanatology at Marian University and a writer for Open to Hope. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Ken-Breniman-From-Trauma-Loop-to-Transformation-Healing-Prolonged-Grief-in-New-Ways.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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On this show Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley discuss with Portrait artist Eric Brown his work in helping people heal through grief by transforming cherished memories into living works of art. His charcoal portraits are created for one purpose: to honor the legacy, story, and spirit of a loved one who has passed on. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Eric-Brown_-Honoring-Their-Story-Transforming-Loss-into-Living-Portraits.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Don’t miss the opportunity to explore with Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Gyani Richards, some of the great healing wisdom traditions of the world. Gyani’s father died when he was 13, sending him on a lifelong journey of discovery. Gyani has an M.A. in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, a second-degree black belt in Aikido, and is a Certified Grief Educator. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/Gyani-Richards_-Grief-as-a-Gateway-Discovering-Wisdom-Through-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Jon Ganues. Jon previously managed the Men’s Program at TAPS, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, overseeing event planning and survivor support. A retired U.S. Army Warrant Officer with 21 years of active service. Jon is a lifetime member of the U.S. Army Warrant Officers Association and an Honorary Board Member for Henrico County CASA. His work with TAPS was dedicated to honoring his son, A1C Jon Wesley Ganues, Jr. (USAF), who died by suicide on June 2, 2009. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Jon-Ganues_-A-Fathers-Promise-Honoring-a-Son-Through-Service-and-Support.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview bestselling author James Norbury, creator of illustrated books Big Panda and Tiny Dragon and The Dog Who Followed the Moon. While writing his latest book, THE WAY TO A BEAUTIFUL WORLD, Norbury experienced the loss of his brother. His personal journey parallels his characters’ stories, offering insight and support for those coping with grief. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Big-Panda-Tiny-Dragon-and-Real-Life-Grief-James-Norburys-Journey.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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The Roar of Silence is a poetry collection written in the aftermath of profound loss, when language breaks down and silence becomes the only honest response. After the death of his son, a father searches for meaning in the quiet that follows devastation. These poems do not attempt to resolve grief or offer consolation. Instead, they listen—to absence, to memory, and to the altered gravity of living on. Silence appears here as wound and teacher, as accusation and refuge, as the space where truth waits without explanation. Moving through themes of fatherhood, masculinity, inheritance, endurance, and love passed forward, The Roar of […]
Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
