Miscarriage and pregnancy loss grief is real, profound, and too often suffered in silence. Here’s how common pregnancy loss is, why your grief is valid, and how to find support after losing a baby you longed for.
Read More
When my mother had a recent medical crisis, on my way home from the hospital nearly in tears, I called a first cousin. I was overwhelmed by a grief that felt new and heavy. I reached for someone who loves me and my mom, someone who has been in our family for longer than I have. She was kind enough to answer and stay on the line. She listened, was empathic, and said the right things. After we spoke, I felt I still needed more. So, I called my aunt. Similarly, I felt heard, empathized with, and truly supported. While the conversation left me feeling better than the one with her daughter, somewhere in the middle of that conversation, I […]
Read More
Sudden death of a spouse is one of the most disorienting experiences a human can survive. There is no preparation, no goodbye, no chance to say what mattered. Here are 9 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with the sudden death of a spouse and start finding your footing again.
Read More
Five days after my husband’s death of cancer at the age of fifty-five, I stood in our master bathroom. To my right was our closet, stuffed with my clothes and Jason’s—ties he’d barely worn in years since his company got more casual, wrinkle-free button-downs and khakis, t-shirts from concerts he’d attended, and F-1 racing fan gear. I walked past the vanity, spotting his razor and toothbrush. His towel was still hanging over the shower’s glass door. When I stepped into our room, I saw Jason’s shoes organized perfectly in the soft, compartmented contraption hanging off the bathroom door. Far less […]
Read More
Continuing bonds is the healthy, research-supported idea that we don’t have to “let go” of those we love to heal. Here’s what continuing bonds means, why sensing a loved one’s presence is normal, and how to stay connected.
Read More
Judgment in Grief: A Societal Reflection As a society, we must ask ourselves: have we reached a point where the level of sympathy offered to grieving families depends on the choices made by their loved ones? It is troubling to consider that families may receive varying degrees of compassion based on how their loved one passed away—whether from cancer, overdose, accident, suicide, heart attack, or murder. This raises the question: are we so critical of others that we allow our judgments to influence who is deserving of more or less sympathy? Debating Irrelevant Issues While debates about whether addiction is […]
Read More
Twenty-five years after September 11th, I continue to think about the families I came to know through my work with the FDNY–Columbia University Family Guidance Program. I worked closely with families who lost a firefighter in the World Trade Center attacks. I remain in touch with some of these families today, which has allowed me to witness how grief, resilience, and hope continue to evolve over time. Some of the children I once knew have grown into adults and even followed in their parents’ footsteps by becoming firefighters themselves. One of the most important things I learned is that grief […]
Read More
Grief and sleep problems go hand in hand — loss disrupts rest for the vast majority of grieving people. Here’s why grief wrecks your sleep, when to be concerned, and gentle, practical ways to rest again.
Read More
For several weeks I watched from the kitchen window as a magpie, who I came to call Maggie, rested in our backyard. From a distance I could see that he had an injured leg, but whenever I attempted to get closer he would fly away. One evening I arrived home from work to find Maggie squawking in the tree next to our garage. I was surprised to see him here, as in the past he had never come so close to the house. The winter weather had been relentless for days with constant wind and rain. Maggie was soaked to […]
Read More
No matter how long we’ve been on our grief journey, we know grief doesn’t move in a straight line. There is no set timeline, and it certainly doesn’t follow a clearly defined path. It arrives in waves, sometimes slowly and quietly, and other times fiercely and loudly. When a wave of emotion hits, our sympathetic nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode in response to the stress grief brings on. It feels as if we are drowning in a sea of sorrow as our heart rate climbs, we tense up, and our breath turns shallow and fast. Although this is a normal stress response, it […]
Read More
Returning to work after a death is one of grief’s hardest transitions, especially when bereavement leave runs out fast. Here’s how to navigate grieving on the job, what to ask for, and how to be gentle with yourself.
Read More
Pet loss grief is real, valid, and sometimes as intense as losing a person. Here’s the science behind why losing an animal companion hurts so deeply, and how to grieve a beloved pet without shame.
Read More
Not sure what to say to someone who is grieving? You don’t need perfect words. Here’s what genuinely comforts a grieving person, the common phrases to avoid, and why simply showing up matters most.
Read More
Men and grief can look very different from what we expect — often quieter, more action-oriented, and more likely to go unsupported. Here’s why men grieve the way they do, why it’s not ‘wrong,’ and how to help grieving men.
Read More
Sudden death and anticipated loss lead to very different grief journeys. Here’s how a sudden, traumatic death differs from a long, expected one, why each is hard in its own way, and what helps in both.
Read More
Grief and anxiety often arrive together — loss can trigger panic, dread, and constant worry. Here’s why anxiety is such a common part of grief, when it needs extra attention, and how to calm a grieving, anxious mind.
Read More
Grief and faith have a complicated relationship. When you lose someone you love, your beliefs can deepen, shift, shatter, or all three. Here are 7 compassionate ways to navigate grief and faith after loss, whatever your tradition (or lack of one) looks like.
Read More
Before Bonnie’s death, I had never thought of myself as a caregiver. Husband, father, provider—yes. I used to tell Bonnie that what I wanted on my tombstone was: Good husband, good father. If I had accomplished that, I would be proud of the life I lived. I never imagined I’d make a very good caregiver. Not because I didn’t love Bonnie—quite the opposite. I simply didn’t see myself in that role. Nurses and doctors had gifts I didn’t believe I possessed. But love has a way of unlocking capabilities we never knew we had. When the woman I loved needed […]
Read More
Grief after suicide loss carries a unique weight of shock, guilt, and unanswered questions. Here’s why suicide bereavement is different, what genuinely helps survivors, and where to find support and hope.
Read More
Losing a parent as an adult is one of the most common yet most minimized griefs there is. Here’s why it hits so hard, why the world often underestimates it, and how to grieve a mother or father without apology.
Read More
“The sun shines brighter again. Today, I am a different person, shaped through adversity and perseverance. My dreams aren’t visions of what might have been. I don’t focus on what I’ve lost, but rather on what I learned through my pain. I appreciate the present moment, expect happenstance, and celebrate the lessons of the past with the possibilities of tomorrow. “ (Nan) Spring came early that year. Then, the rain began. Instead of rejoicing over warmer days and sunshine, we found ourselves cursing torrential-grade rains. We were anxious to begin construction on a new home and build our new dream. […]
Read More
We grieving people know a lot about collateral damage when someone we love dies. It’s not just the loss of the person in our lives, although that would be enough. There are other losses, too. Death doesn’t happen in a vacuum. While the death of our person may be the headline, there are other related stories and losses. Death doesn’t come alone and doesn’t leave empty-handed. Our grieving lives are like having a home that has clearly been robbed, but we don’t know what all is missing. It can take a long time to discover all the valuables that have […]
Read More
How long does grief last? There is no fixed deadline, but research reveals clear patterns in how most people move through loss. Here’s what the science shows about grief timelines and why “getting over it” is the wrong goal.
Read More
Miscarriage and pregnancy loss carry a particular kind of grief: real, profound, and often hidden from the wider world. Here are 7 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to grieve a miscarriage and honor the love you carried for a baby who never came home.
Read More
Broken heart syndrome is a real, temporary heart condition that intense grief or shock can trigger, mimicking a heart attack. Here’s what the science says, who is most at risk, and when to seek emergency care.
Read More
Dear Family, There were so many things we didn’t get to do, and our time together was cut short. Physical and mental ailments prevented us from living out all the plans we made, but we still made the most of our time together. Y’all beat the odds and lived longer than anyone expected for people in your condition. God didn’t answer my prayers to take away the sicknesses, but He granted me favor through temporary healings and the blessing of extended time. You slowly slipped away. Year by year, month by month, and day by day, until I was somehow […]
Read More
Grief and guilt are deeply intertwined — “what if” and “if only” haunt many grieving people. Here’s why guilt is such a common part of loss, the different forms it takes, and how to release blame you were never meant to carry.
Read More
Crying and grief are deeply connected, but the relationship is complicated. Some bereaved people cry constantly; others can’t seem to cry at all. Here’s what the science actually says about crying in grief, and 6 ways to honor your own pattern — whatever it looks like.
Read More
Delayed grief is when mourning arrives long after a loss — months or even years later, sometimes triggered by something small. Here’s why grief gets postponed, what commonly unlocks it, and why a late-arriving grief is still normal.
Read More
Grieving teenagers often mourn in ways adults misread — through anger, withdrawal, or seeming indifference. Here’s how teens grieve, what they need, and how parents and caregivers can support a grieving adolescent.
Read More
It is a well-documented phenomenon: a person loses a limb, yet they can still feel it. The brain continues to fire signals to a hand or a leg that is no longer there. They reach for objects with fingers that do not exist or try to stand on a foot that has been gone for years. The nerves are firing based on a map of the body that has not been updated. When I lost my wife, Bonnie, six years ago, I discovered that grief creates its own version of a phantom limb. Except, I did not just lose a […]
Read More
Disenfranchised grief is loss that society doesn’t fully acknowledge — a pet, a miscarriage, an ex, an estranged parent. Here’s what disenfranchised grief means, why it’s so isolating, and why your grief is valid even when others don’t see it.
Read More
Caregiver grief is a complex, layered mourning that unfolds both during and after a loved one’s long illness. Here’s why caregivers grieve so uniquely, the guilt and relief that often follow, and how to heal after the caregiving ends.
Read More
Grief and faith are deeply connected — loss can shake your beliefs or deepen them, sometimes both at once. Here’s how grief affects spirituality, why doubt is normal, and how faith can become a source of comfort in mourning.
Read More
Grief in marriage can be devastating when you and your partner grieve differently. After losing a child, parent, or other shared loved one, couples often find themselves out of sync. Here are 8 compassionate ways to navigate grief in marriage and protect the relationship.
Read More
Grief rituals aren’t just tradition — research shows they genuinely help us cope with loss. Here’s why rituals ease grief, ideas for creating your own meaningful memorials, and how small acts of remembrance can bring comfort.
Read More
As I drifted off to sleep last night, my heart hummed with a familiar warmth and, in its secret way, sent out a quiet invitation to those nocturnal angels who watch over us at night. I found myself in one of those quasi-dream states in which most of me was dreaming, but there was a sliver of awareness that could witness what unfolds. I was standing alone in the gauzy grey of twilight, underneath a large exterior deck of a familiar ski lodge from my childhood. I don’t know what I was doing there but the mood was expectant, preparatory. […]
Read More
I may be the last person in the world who didn’t know the meaning of life-maxxing. Earlier this week, I came across it for the very first time in a social media post and realized the word embodied everything I believe in and have learned through my grief journey. Life-maxxing (or maxing) started as slang, and now I see it everywhere. On social media, it’s all about maximizing and optimizing mental and physical health, productivity, career, aspirations, and financial success. And yet this word triggers a much deeper meaning for me. It means living life to the fullest because my loved […]
Read More
Grief and depression can look alike, but they are not the same — and knowing the difference matters. Here’s how to tell grief from clinical depression, why they sometimes overlap, and when it’s time to reach out for help.
Read More
The door is easy to miss— a dim recess, knotted and coarse. He kept the room for a long time— some places are made of wood and plaster— this one is made of whatever people bring inside. People pass it every day already elsewhere. If you ask, he gives you the key. Not ceremoniously— just a small warmth from others who came before. The lock turns easily as though expecting them, and the two friends enter. To the first, the room offers nothing— white walls, corners meet in muted shadows, light without direction. She […]
Read More
Talking to children about death is one of the hardest conversations bereaved families face — and one of the most important. Here is an age-by-age guide to talking to kids about death, what language to use, and how to support grieving children of every age.
Read More
When you meet someone new, it’s the heat that won’t break, the dry cleaner down the street that’s too expensive, how you take your coffee. We sat over dinner. He sent the dish back— too spicy, he said, as if it were the dish that missed the mark. They brought something softer. He thanked them, moved on. So did I. The questions came in their usual spacing— easy enough to keep things level. He asks it and reaches for his glass before I answer. How many children? I feel the ice in my […]
Read More
Post-traumatic growth is the scientifically documented experience of being changed for the better — not in spite of grief, but because of it. Here’s what post-traumatic growth actually means, the 5 areas it appears in, and how bereaved people slowly grow around their loss.
Read More
A crowd is the wrong place for a whisper. Sound there is measured in weight, not meaning. A whisper asks something else. For proximity. For stillness. For the small kindness of someone leaning in, of meeting a mild breeze. It does not compete. It waits. It listens for the quiet of a wave braking at ocean’s edge. In a crowd, it is mistaken for absence. But in the dark, when one person turns and another is already listening, it becomes a bridge— not loud enough to impress, only strong enough to cross. POEM GUIDE AND […]
Read More
Our culture presents romantic love in the light of a “one and only.” The person you marry is usually considered the “one true love.” For some people, such a singular concept may be true. However, for people who lose a spouse much too soon, this romanticized idea of love may not be helpful. Widows and widowers may struggle with nagging feelings of disloyalty to their partner when they reach the point of wanting to meet new people or look for a new mate. Feelings of guilt when engaging with a new person can hinder our ability to create another loving […]
Read More
I reread the rabbi’s eulogy from my beloved sister Jane’s funeral. He said, “There is no satisfactory answer to understanding why bad things happen to good people. Not all questions have answers. Unanswered “whys” are part of life. The way to face tragedy is with love. Use the love we had for Jane to forgive ourselves.” Focusing on his words helped me knock down roadblocks to forgive myself.” Forgiveness for me was not a quick fix, magic bullet, instant gratification, but a long, arduous triathlon. I needed to program my heart and mind in sync to forgive myself and […]
Read More
The loneliness of grief is one of the most universal and least talked-about parts of bereavement. Even surrounded by people, you can feel utterly alone. Here are 7 compassionate ways to navigate grief loneliness and slowly build connection through the hardest season.
Read More
Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley for an inspiring conversation with Elizabeth Creel and Carrie Pike about finding meaning, honoring loved ones, and creating purpose after loss. Carrie Pike, founder of Carrie Bears, helps families honor and remember loved ones who have died. Following 9/11, Carrie created 412 bears for first responders and their families. She is also the author of Heroes of 9/11 and Something to Hold Onto. Elizabeth Creel, a clinical social worker, was part of a Columbia University research team that studied families who lost firefighters in the World Trade Center attacks. She has been in private practice […]
Watch
Looking for ways to care for yourself after loss? Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome guest Zaneta Gileno, a grief professional, social worker, and psychotherapist. Zaneta shares how she found self-compassion, purpose, and emotional freedom after losing her parents. She runs Hope Rising Psychotherapy & Wellness, offers individual grief and trauma support, leads retreats, and teaches at Columbia University. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Zaneta-Gileno_-Self-Compassion-in-Grief-Turning-Loss-into-Purpose-and-Healing.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Are you stuck in a trauma loop of grief? Join Dr. Heidi Horsley and Rebecca Horsley Bara and their guest Ken Breniman. Ken has found psychedelic integration to be helpful for his own healing from his own prolonged grief and that of his clients. He is an author and professor of thanatology at Marian University and a writer for Open to Hope. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Ken-Breniman-From-Trauma-Loop-to-Transformation-Healing-Prolonged-Grief-in-New-Ways.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
