Grief brain is real. The fog, forgetfulness, and slow-moving thoughts that follow loss are not a weakness or a sign you’re “going crazy.” They’re a measurable neurological response to grief. Here’s what’s actually happening in your brain after loss, and 7 therapist-tested ways to think more clearly while you’re grieving.
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Sometimes, we are called to a new journey, and we don’t want to go. And why would we when the call comes in the form of a loss? Loss of health with a new diagnosis. Loss of certainty about the future. Loss of faith. Loss of life for a family member or friend. Such significant losses call us to leave the life and places we knew into a journey toward the unknown. Resistance to this call is understandable, sometimes for as long as we can. This journey offers no guarantees except uncertainty and distress. To accept the call and begin […]
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Wondering if you should see a grief therapist? Most grievers don’t need formal therapy — but some do, and the signs aren’t always obvious. Here are 7 signs it’s time to see a grief therapist, plus what to look for in finding the right one.
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We excitedly moved to Paso Robles, in central California, away from the business of southern California in October 1998. The fresh atmosphere and oak-studded countryside, along with having family in the area, made this our choice of where we wanted to raise our kids. We rented a house about eight miles out of town and settled into this new-to-us old town. My older daughter adjusted nicely to riding a bus on back roads to school; she joined my uncle’s 4-H swine group, and we participated in tons of activities through the local park. Amy’s dad kept busy working as a […]
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Grieving a best friend carries a particular invisibility. You aren’t the spouse, the parent, or the child — but you’ve lost someone who knew you completely. Here are 7 ways to grieve a best friend’s death and honor a friendship the world may not fully understand.
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My wife, Bonnie, passed away in 2020, and she was the one person who might have loved fall even more than I do. She had a childlike excitement about the weather changing and the fall color. She would run out and buy yellow, orange, and maroon mums to plant in the front yard. She’d happily start pulling the fall decorations out of the boxes. Hanging the strings of orange leaves, putting out the pumpkins and setting up the scarecrows and bales of hay. Fall has always been my favorite season too, and honestly, it’s not even close. I know plenty […]
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The first anniversary of a death is one of the hardest days of the entire grief journey. The body remembers what the mind tries to brace for. Here’s what to expect on the first anniversary of a death, and 8 compassionate ways to cope with the day they died.
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Birthday grief is one of the most underestimated parts of bereavement. The world keeps the date on the calendar but the person is gone. Here are 8 meaningful ways to honor your loved one on their birthday and turn a day of loss into a day of remembrance.
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Grief and anger are uncomfortable companions. Many bereaved people are blindsided by the rage that comes with loss. Here’s why grief produces anger, who that anger often targets, and 7 compassionate ways to work with it instead of being run by it.
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Prolonged grief disorder is a diagnosable condition in which intense grief persists and disrupts daily life more than a year after a loss. Here’s how it differs from typical grief, who is most at risk, and the treatments that genuinely help.
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Grief brain is the very real fog, forgetfulness, and trouble concentrating that follow a major loss. Here’s the science behind why your mind feels broken after grief, and how to be gentle with yourself while it heals.
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Grief isn’t only emotional — it takes a measurable toll on the body, from the heart to the immune system. Here’s what research reveals about grief’s physical effects and how to protect your health while you mourn.
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Anticipatory grief is the mourning that begins before a loss has happened, often during a loved one’s serious illness. Here’s why it’s normal, what it feels like, and how caregivers can carry it with more self-compassion.
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The widowhood effect is the measurable rise in a surviving spouse’s own risk of dying in the months after their partner’s death. Here’s what the research shows, why it happens, and how to protect your health while you grieve.
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Sibling loss is one of the most overlooked griefs there is — bereaved siblings are often called the “forgotten mourners.” Here’s why losing a brother or sister cuts so deep, and why your grief deserves to be seen.
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The five stages of grief are the most famous and most misunderstood model of loss. Here’s where denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance actually came from, and why grief was never meant to be a tidy five-step line.
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When friends disappear after a loss, the second wound can hurt almost as much as the first. Why does it happen, and what can you do? Here are 7 compassionate insights for bereaved people whose friend circles changed after the death.
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Miscarriage and pregnancy loss grief is real, profound, and too often suffered in silence. Here’s how common pregnancy loss is, why your grief is valid, and how to find support after losing a baby you longed for.
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When my mother had a recent medical crisis, on my way home from the hospital nearly in tears, I called a first cousin. I was overwhelmed by a grief that felt new and heavy. I reached for someone who loves me and my mom, someone who has been in our family for longer than I have. She was kind enough to answer and stay on the line. She listened, was empathic, and said the right things. After we spoke, I felt I still needed more. So, I called my aunt. Similarly, I felt heard, empathized with, and truly supported. While the conversation left me feeling better than the one with her daughter, somewhere in the middle of that conversation, I […]
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Sudden death of a spouse is one of the most disorienting experiences a human can survive. There is no preparation, no goodbye, no chance to say what mattered. Here are 9 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with the sudden death of a spouse and start finding your footing again.
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Five days after my husband’s death of cancer at the age of fifty-five, I stood in our master bathroom. To my right was our closet, stuffed with my clothes and Jason’s—ties he’d barely worn in years since his company got more casual, wrinkle-free button-downs and khakis, t-shirts from concerts he’d attended, and F-1 racing fan gear. I walked past the vanity, spotting his razor and toothbrush. His towel was still hanging over the shower’s glass door. When I stepped into our room, I saw Jason’s shoes organized perfectly in the soft, compartmented contraption hanging off the bathroom door. Far less […]
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Continuing bonds is the healthy, research-supported idea that we don’t have to “let go” of those we love to heal. Here’s what continuing bonds means, why sensing a loved one’s presence is normal, and how to stay connected.
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Judgment in Grief: A Societal Reflection As a society, we must ask ourselves: have we reached a point where the level of sympathy offered to grieving families depends on the choices made by their loved ones? It is troubling to consider that families may receive varying degrees of compassion based on how their loved one passed away—whether from cancer, overdose, accident, suicide, heart attack, or murder. This raises the question: are we so critical of others that we allow our judgments to influence who is deserving of more or less sympathy? Debating Irrelevant Issues While debates about whether addiction is […]
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Twenty-five years after September 11th, I continue to think about the families I came to know through my work with the FDNY–Columbia University Family Guidance Program. I worked closely with families who lost a firefighter in the World Trade Center attacks. I remain in touch with some of these families today, which has allowed me to witness how grief, resilience, and hope continue to evolve over time. Some of the children I once knew have grown into adults and even followed in their parents’ footsteps by becoming firefighters themselves. One of the most important things I learned is that grief […]
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Grief and sleep problems go hand in hand — loss disrupts rest for the vast majority of grieving people. Here’s why grief wrecks your sleep, when to be concerned, and gentle, practical ways to rest again.
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For several weeks I watched from the kitchen window as a magpie, who I came to call Maggie, rested in our backyard. From a distance I could see that he had an injured leg, but whenever I attempted to get closer he would fly away. One evening I arrived home from work to find Maggie squawking in the tree next to our garage. I was surprised to see him here, as in the past he had never come so close to the house. The winter weather had been relentless for days with constant wind and rain. Maggie was soaked to […]
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No matter how long we’ve been on our grief journey, we know grief doesn’t move in a straight line. There is no set timeline, and it certainly doesn’t follow a clearly defined path. It arrives in waves, sometimes slowly and quietly, and other times fiercely and loudly. When a wave of emotion hits, our sympathetic nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode in response to the stress grief brings on. It feels as if we are drowning in a sea of sorrow as our heart rate climbs, we tense up, and our breath turns shallow and fast. Although this is a normal stress response, it […]
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Returning to work after a death is one of grief’s hardest transitions, especially when bereavement leave runs out fast. Here’s how to navigate grieving on the job, what to ask for, and how to be gentle with yourself.
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Pet loss grief is real, valid, and sometimes as intense as losing a person. Here’s the science behind why losing an animal companion hurts so deeply, and how to grieve a beloved pet without shame.
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Not sure what to say to someone who is grieving? You don’t need perfect words. Here’s what genuinely comforts a grieving person, the common phrases to avoid, and why simply showing up matters most.
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Men and grief can look very different from what we expect — often quieter, more action-oriented, and more likely to go unsupported. Here’s why men grieve the way they do, why it’s not ‘wrong,’ and how to help grieving men.
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Sudden death and anticipated loss lead to very different grief journeys. Here’s how a sudden, traumatic death differs from a long, expected one, why each is hard in its own way, and what helps in both.
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Grief and anxiety often arrive together — loss can trigger panic, dread, and constant worry. Here’s why anxiety is such a common part of grief, when it needs extra attention, and how to calm a grieving, anxious mind.
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Grief and faith have a complicated relationship. When you lose someone you love, your beliefs can deepen, shift, shatter, or all three. Here are 7 compassionate ways to navigate grief and faith after loss, whatever your tradition (or lack of one) looks like.
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Before Bonnie’s death, I had never thought of myself as a caregiver. Husband, father, provider—yes. I used to tell Bonnie that what I wanted on my tombstone was: Good husband, good father. If I had accomplished that, I would be proud of the life I lived. I never imagined I’d make a very good caregiver. Not because I didn’t love Bonnie—quite the opposite. I simply didn’t see myself in that role. Nurses and doctors had gifts I didn’t believe I possessed. But love has a way of unlocking capabilities we never knew we had. When the woman I loved needed […]
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Grief after suicide loss carries a unique weight of shock, guilt, and unanswered questions. Here’s why suicide bereavement is different, what genuinely helps survivors, and where to find support and hope.
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Losing a parent as an adult is one of the most common yet most minimized griefs there is. Here’s why it hits so hard, why the world often underestimates it, and how to grieve a mother or father without apology.
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“The sun shines brighter again. Today, I am a different person, shaped through adversity and perseverance. My dreams aren’t visions of what might have been. I don’t focus on what I’ve lost, but rather on what I learned through my pain. I appreciate the present moment, expect happenstance, and celebrate the lessons of the past with the possibilities of tomorrow. “ (Nan) Spring came early that year. Then, the rain began. Instead of rejoicing over warmer days and sunshine, we found ourselves cursing torrential-grade rains. We were anxious to begin construction on a new home and build our new dream. […]
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We grieving people know a lot about collateral damage when someone we love dies. It’s not just the loss of the person in our lives, although that would be enough. There are other losses, too. Death doesn’t happen in a vacuum. While the death of our person may be the headline, there are other related stories and losses. Death doesn’t come alone and doesn’t leave empty-handed. Our grieving lives are like having a home that has clearly been robbed, but we don’t know what all is missing. It can take a long time to discover all the valuables that have […]
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How long does grief last? There is no fixed deadline, but research reveals clear patterns in how most people move through loss. Here’s what the science shows about grief timelines and why “getting over it” is the wrong goal.
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Miscarriage and pregnancy loss carry a particular kind of grief: real, profound, and often hidden from the wider world. Here are 7 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to grieve a miscarriage and honor the love you carried for a baby who never came home.
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Broken heart syndrome is a real, temporary heart condition that intense grief or shock can trigger, mimicking a heart attack. Here’s what the science says, who is most at risk, and when to seek emergency care.
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Writing has always been another part of Jerry’s creative life. A longtime poet, he was the founding editor of Volume Number poetry magazine and Los Angeles Poets’ Press. His earlier book, Background Noise: Poems, Vignettes and Word Explosions, brings together poetry and short-form writing that reflects the same curiosity about love, loss, humor, relationships, and the sometimes messy experience of being human that runs throughout his creative work. His newest book, Dying to Live: Choosing Love and Adventure in the Face of Terminal Illness, is his most personal work. After his late wife Angela was diagnosed with terminal cancer, […]
You will smile again. Even if tonight you can’t see how. It’s 3 a.m. and the worst moment is playing again. You pray, you replay, you bargain, and in church on Sunday you smile like nothing happened. Hear this: you are not crazy, and you are not faithless. You are wounded. And you are seen. After 32 years of walking with people through their darkest nights, and surviving his own (losing his sight at twenty, a heart attack at thirty-eight, financial collapse, and the marital betrayal that broke his world), Rodney D. Nielsen wrote the book he wishes someone […]
In Why Am I Here and He Is Not, Larry Klopot shares the searing journey of losing his son and the long struggle to live with that loss. With honesty and vulnerability, he invites readers into a father’s grief, where sorrow and love collide, and where the search for meaning becomes both unbearable and necessary. Although this book is about death, it is also about what survives. It is about the resilience of the human heart, the bonds of family, and the fragile threads of hope that slowly emerge in the aftermath of unimaginable loss. Discover a story of: A father’s […]
Katie Rizzo’s debut memoir, The Trimesters of Grief, is a raw and intimate account of one family’s devastating struggle with opioid addiction and loss. Published by Koehler Books, with Blackstone Publishing handling audio licensing. The Trimesters of Grief is a bereaved mother’s memoir and prescriptive guide that reframes the experience of losing a child to opioid addiction through the lens of gestation. Rizzo moves readers through invisible, undeniable, and public stages of grief toward the lifelong work of living with loss. Her book blends raw journal entries, original poetry, along with prescriptive tools. The book is pitched […]
The most trusted, authoritative, and influential voice in the publishing world, Kirkus Book Reviews, raves about Walk On , proclaiming it to be “a raw, moving memoir that deftly explores grief and hope in equal measure . . . It is Panus’ unique and sometimes poetic turns of phrase, however, that truly bring Jake’s story to life . . . The author’s acknowledgment that grief is an “unwelcome topic in our society” makes his willingness to tackle it head-on even more admirable.” In today’s world, grief and adversity are everywhere, causing many to suffer and lose hope. From the depths of […]
The Price We Pay is a gentle, honest exploration of grief told through the lived experience of a support group — a place where vulnerability becomes connection, and connection becomes healing. Through my own story of loss, I invite readers to witness what it feels like to sit in a circle of people who are learning to breathe again after life has changed forever. Each chapter ends with tender, reflective questions designed to help readers pause, feel, and find language for what hurts. These questions aren’t instructions — they’re invitations. They create space for readers to meet their grief with […]
AFTER SURVIVAL: A Memoir of Choice, Consequence, and the Life That Followed traces Shane Neilsen’s life after a catastrophic brain injury at ten years old, through the relationships, decisions, and losses that shaped the decades that followed. Among those losses was the murder of his younger sister and only sibling, Michelle. Shane reflects on the grief and anger he carried, the role of faith in finding peace, and learning to remember his sister beyond the circumstances of her death. He also explores the loss of his father and the responsibilities of caring for his aging mother. With honesty, faith, and […]
Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley for an inspiring conversation with Elizabeth Creel and Carrie Pike about finding meaning, honoring loved ones, and creating purpose after loss. Carrie Pike, founder of Carrie Bears, helps families honor and remember loved ones who have died. Following 9/11, Carrie created 412 bears for first responders and their families. She is also the author of Heroes of 9/11 and Something to Hold Onto. Elizabeth Creel, a clinical social worker, was part of a Columbia University research team that studied families who lost firefighters in the World Trade Center attacks. She has been in private practice […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
