Our culture presents romantic love in the light of a “one and only.” The person you marry is usually considered the “one true love.” For some people, such a singular concept may be true. However, for people who lose a spouse much too soon, this romanticized idea of love may not be helpful.

Widows and widowers may struggle with nagging feelings of disloyalty to their partner when they reach the point of wanting to meet new people or look for a new mate. Feelings of guilt when engaging with a new person can hinder our ability to create another loving relationship—or simply cause conflict within a new relationship.

However, our love is not divided; our love is multiplied. When we lose a spouse, we can continue to hold a deep love for that person while, at the same time, deeply loving another.

Love Expands

When parents have a child, they experience a depth of love unlike any other. The world rises and falls around that precious new person. When a second child is born, the same undying loyalty and deep devotion spring forth for the second child while the parents continue to maintain the same endless love for their first child.

Love is not divided. Love multiplies.

Our time may be divided, but not our loyalty, devotion, or passion. Each person we love enhances our ability to love others even more. Our hearts expand with every new love we welcome into our lives.

Honoring the Love That Came Before

When widowed people create a new relationship or make a new commitment, both partners need to understand that the deceased spouse remains a positive part of their history. This is especially important when the deceased spouse was also a parent to their children.

Honoring our deceased loved ones creates bonds rather than destroying them. Such understanding and acceptance demonstrate appreciation for who a person is within the context of their entire life and history.

Love is always a positive force and is never depleted. Love produces more love.

Love does not divide. Love multiplies.

Dr. Janice Bell Meisenhelder