Siblings: The Forgotten Mourners

    Episode 24 of The Open to Hope show features Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interviewing Dana Brophy and Zander Sprague. Brophy is the daughter of Alan Pedersen, the Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. She lost her brother, Sean, and knows all too well how disenfranchised sibling loss can be. Like many siblings, she hid her feelings in order to protect her parents. So much of the time, the focus is on the parents when a child dies, but a…

    Dana Brophy: Siblings the Forgotten Mourners

    Dana Brophy is the daughter of Alan Pedersen, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. Her personal experience with sibling loss has unfortunately made Brophy an expert on sibling loss. Her brother, Sean, died when he was 21 in a car accident. He was her only sibling and, even though she wasn’t a young child when he died, she found herself in the unique situation of suddenly having very protective parents. Her family is involved with Angels Across the USA, and…

    Siblings Forgotten Mourners

    When Dr. Heidi Horsley was in college, she lost her 17-year-old brother Scott in a car accident. “The loss was so severe for me and the pain was so great, I honestly didn’t know how I was going to survive or if I even wanted to.” She remembers the early years, and how many people told her she needed to be strong for her parents. Not only was that advice unhelpful, but it was also hurtful. Today, as an industry…

    Adult Sibling Loss with Dr. Brenda Marshall

    Dr. Brenda Marshall talks about adult sibling loss with Dr. Heidi Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. Dr. Marshall entered the field when her younger brother, Brent, died suddenly eight years ago. She found little support for adult siblings, which led her on a path to figuring out why this was and what she could do about it. “A lot of people take their sibling for granted and assume they’re always going to be there,”…

    Sibling Loss and The Compassionate Friends with Stephen Stott

    Stephen Stott, a Columbia University graduate and one of Dr. Heidi Horsley’s former students, is in the field of sibling loss after losing his own sister in 2002. Stott’s mother started attending The Compassionate Friends meetings immediately, but it took Stott over a decade to join. His mother asked if he felt comfortable going, and for the first time since his sister died, he said yes. “I think the experience was great, but I was nervous,” he says. He didn’t…

    Molly Gandour: A documentary called Peanut Gallery

    Molly Gandour created Peanut Gallery, a documentary that addressed her sister’s death and the silence that ensued. Only recently did Gandour and her parents begin talking about the death. She shares her story with Dr. Heidi Horsley during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference.  Her sister died when Gandour was ten, and it wasn’t until she was an adult that the subject was breached. She returned to India to start this conversation. “It really captures how difficult…

    Webinar: ‘Am I Still a Sibling?’

    A special hour-long webinar from the Open to Hope foundation, the Death of a Sibling, features Alicia “Allie” Sims Franklin, LICSW and the big sister of Austin along with Tracy Milne, the big sister of Andrew. Both women lost a sibling and understand there’s a unique kind of lifelong loss that occurs in these situations. Dr. Heidi Horsley of the Open to Hope foundation and the President of The Compassionate Friends Alan Pedersen lead the discussion. Milne is also a…

    What Loss Has Taught Me: Everybody’s on the Tightrope

    The other day, I went out running to clear my head, something I often do in a continuing quest to manage my grief over the loss of my brother a year ago. I had my iPod on a random shuffle. Janelle Monáe’s song, “Tightrope,” came on after I had gone about a mile and a half, and some of the lyrics found a newly-cleared corner of my brain and lodged there. Whether you’re high or low Baby whether you’re high…

    Keeping Lost Siblings In Your Heart

    I am a sister who sadly lost both my sisters. Although I will permanently have a hole in my heart, I am learning to embrace my beloved sisters to encompass an important place in my life. My sisters Margie and Jane are forever part of me, who I am, past, present and future. My heart is opening, and I am welcoming my sisters back into my heart where they truly belong. I suppressed the grief of my beloved sisters for…

    Denial and Disbelief in Grieving

    I was in denial from the first moment. And for a while thereafter. On a sunny Saturday in June, I had just finished a mud run with my son, and we were walking back to our car in late morning, covered with mud and laughing. My husband called my cell, from our home phone, I assumed, since as far as I knew, he was home with our other two children. I answered, and he said, “Where are you?” When I…