Healing from Twin-Loss Requires New Connections

    So many people are shattered by deep personal grief, by the unique and often unacknowledged experiences of their loss, and by the misunderstood depth and length of their bereavements. The death of my twin brother, Michael, and the different ways I experienced the absence of him in my life, created a deep sense of inner loneliness and outer separation. My healing journey began with what felt like the end of my life.   Out of profound disconnection, I started the…

    The Bereavement Process for Twinless Twins

    When we lose a twin, it feels for many of us like the literal end of our lives. That is true, in that it is the end of life as we have known it since the moment of our conception. As one twin explained to me: “The day my twin died, the lights went out.” Another twin said to me, “After Daphne died, it was as if I couldn’t breathe. I’d never in my life thought about breathing. I just…

    Grief Can Surface Years After a Loss

    Denial of grief is common and misunderstood. Grief can wait in the wings for a time to surface, when you are better prepared to absorb its lessons. It can be triggered by other losses. Left undone, grief can wreak havoc with your ability to enjoy life and feel positive emotions. Grief has no time frame. It can be postponed, but never put away. My identical twin sister Paula Pountney died unexpectedly as her small plane crashed into the Atlantic Ocean…

    Sibling Loss: Honoring, Not Forgetting

    In the United States today, there is a natural, assumed order to the deaths we will experience in our lives. We believe that our grandparents will die first, then our parents, then our brothers and sisters, and then our children. However, that is not how it happens for thousands of people each year, and that is not how it happened for me. When my brother Scott and cousin Matthew, were just 17 yrs. old they died together in a fiery…

    Adult Siblings’ Grief May be Overlooked

    Yes, it is dreadful for our parents when our sibling, their child, dies. Horrific actually, made even more so because we know. We see it in their faces and feel it in their words. We know because we may be parents ourselves and the thought of losing one of our children is unfathomable. It’s also awful for our sibling's spouse and their children. We see and feel it in their faces and wonder how they will survive. And, it is dreadful…

    Man Writes Music to Ease Grief

    My name is Michael, and I lost my talented, loveable, indescribable sister to suicide, and my solid, strong, and loyal father to a cancerous brain tumor- in the space of half a year. I don't have to tell you how that felt. Most of you reading this have your own pain to help you empathize with my story. What I do want to share here with you is how I deal with it; how my music helps me and allows…

    Teen Loses Brother to Suicide, Learns to Cope

    At the age of 16, Carl David suffered the loss of his 22-year-old brother by suicide.  In his words, “The effects on myself and my family were devastating, beyond description. We had but two choices; to pull together or tear each other apart. We chose the former and used every bit of strength to rebuild our lives. The challenges were monumental as every day was day one. We had to start over with each sunrise because the after-effects were so…

    ‘Whispers From Beyond:’ Faith-Filled Heart Comforts after Loss

    There is nothing more important or powerful in our lives than our faith. I have had a wonderful experience about a presence more powerful than ourselves. I have seen the movies, books and specials through out the media world about life after death, God, the Divine Source and Heaven. It is an amazing and mysterious subject matter, which captures the attention of millions no matter what faith they practice. My life has been embraced by heaven. I have been able…

    Newborn Niece Completes Circle of Life

    My sister died two years ago. Her first grandchild was born just over a week ago, a baby girl name Victoria. My niece, Victoria’s mother, is a strong, beautiful woman. Her husband called me that morning to tell me they were at the hospital. He promised to keep me updated throughout the day. At noon, he called to tell me she was dilated to 7 and he was having lunch to get ready for the big push! He told me…

    The First Clear Day Without Rain, Ten Years On

    5,256,000! Over 5 million! That’s the number of minutes since my sister died…the minutes and moments she has missed out on in these past years. That’s a lot of time….ten years worth to be exact. Ten years ago, my only sister Tarnia was killed in a car accident. It was the first clear day without rain, the last few days of the school holidays in Australia. My sister had decided since it had stopped raining, she'd take her kids to…