When the Mirror Breaks: Loss of a Close Sibling

    “Siblings are the only relatives, and perhaps the only people you’ll ever know, who are with you through the entire arc of your life…Your parents leave you too soon and your kids and spouse come along late, but your siblings know you when you are in your most inchoate form.” - writer Jeffrey Kluger observed to Salon in 2011, the year his book “The Sibling Effect” was published. My brother Andy was more than a sibling, he was my twin.…

    The Basics of Sibling-Loss

    I would like to take some time to focus on parents who have lost a child and have other living children. I plan to talk about the sibling survivor experience to give you an idea of what they are going through. I would like to start by talking about their grief. While I was attending The Compassionate Friend’s National Conference and the Bereaved Parents of the USA gathering this past July, the question I heard most was, “Are my children…

    Sister Unloads Grief Years After Brother’s Suicide

    I was a sweet, blue-eyed seven-year-old girl watching The Parent Trap while my big brother was babysitting. He got me a cup of water after asking if there was anything I needed. Little did I know my answer should have been, “I need my big brother.” Only minutes later I heard a heart-stopping, deafening boom. I sat there, frozen. What was that? My blonde hair on the back of my neck was standing up, and my ears were ringing. The…

    A Haunting Disturbance: A Poem

    Maybe I’ll always be tortured by loud noises The sudden silence after it echoes through the trees Maybe my skin will always develop goosebumps As I hear the little girl inside of me Soundlessly scream—no, no more—please. The emptiness that is momentarily formed in my heart Soon fills with dread From the conclusion of the beginning That plays like a horror movie inside my pounding head. Maybe my muscles will always tense When I hear a noise similar to what…

    Poem: Eleven Years

    Eleven Years My love for you is unconditional However, so is my anger And I have waited eleven years For this devastation to be over But it has only just begun: The torture that makes me want to scream— And I just want to run away From this awfully dreadful scheme. Oh, how badly I wish you could redeem yourself And I’m sorry, but you took that chance away And whatever path you decided to take, You left me here…

    Dressing a Sister for the Afterlife

    Below is an excerpt from With and Without Her: A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin. My identical twin sister, a psychologist, has died in Lowell, Massachusetts, from a head wound inflicted by a former patient. We have brought her home to Philadelphia, where my mother and I go to the funeral home to help prepare her body. We go to the funeral home, a Victorian house converted for the dead. My mother and I meet with the cosmetologist…

    Losing My Sister: A Boston Vigil

    Below is an excerpt from With and Without Her: A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin.  The piece begins the day my sister, a psychologist, was fatally shot by one of her patients.  My husband, Dan, and I have traveled from Knoxville, Tennessee, to the Lowell, Massachusetts, hospital where my sister lies dying. It is past twelve, a starless night when we reach St. Joseph’s Hospital. A black cross rises from the roof cornice, and from inside, the dimmed…

    Little Blue Box — By Savannah Daly

    “I love your shoes, Mommy!” I shout excitedly while wobbling toward her wearing her black heels. “Thanks Nannah!” My mom says happily, gently pulling more shoes out of her messy closet. Contributing writer Amy Daly's daughter, Savannah, wrote this article. She lost her sister several years ago. “I love your shoes, Mommy!” I shout excitedly while wobbling toward her wearing her black heels. “Thanks, Nannah!” Mom says happily, gently pulling more shoes out of her messy closet. I was pulling…

    Twin-Loss: Healing Memory of Early Twinship

    Mother announces, “School’s out. It’s time you two had your own gardens. No more family victory garden like we had in Washington. You are old enough to grow your own vegetables. We can eat them at home or maybe if they are really nice, you can try to sell them to your Grandmother and Grandfather.” She stops for a moment and then says, “You should have seen the vegetables we grew when I was little, and the eggs from our…

    September 25: Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims

    September 25th is the national day of remembrance for all murdered victims. This year will mark the fifth year of a national day of remembrance to those victims our nation lost to murder. Communities across the nation will hold services throughout the day to remember loved ones who were murdered. Some will be candlelight vigils, some will have guest speakers and others will have moments of silence. For the families and friends of murdered victims, this day sends a powerful…