Sister is Gone, Her Legacy is Immortal

    “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, remains and is immortal”. ~ Albert Pine When I heard those words, I immediately thought about my sister. Sandra was a school teacher. She taught school for well over 30 years. She was passionate about her work, her students. The last 10 years of her life, she taught special needs students. Sandra was a kind, caring, a very compassionate woman. Just over two years…

    Aftershock of a Murder

    It will soon be 26 months since my beautiful sister, Sandra, lost her life by the hands of a murderer. I think back on the last 26 months and all that happened, all I learned. I often described those months as a rollercoaster. Emotions and feelings were up and down, up and down. Lately, I’ve likened the experience to a personal earthquake. The day I learned of my sister’s death it did feel like an earthquake. The epi center of…

    Don’t Let a Loss Make You Give Up Your Dreams

    If you had asked me after my brother took his own life if I held revenge or a need for justice in my heart, I would have told you no. I was too broken, my emotional core was in too many pieces, and most of my feelings surrounded sadness. I would have said such deep sadness cannot hold the anger necessary for revenge or to seek justice. But it was tucked deep inside me and it aimed at my own…

    Where to Start

    Open to Hope has a vast number of resources to support you in your grief journey. To get you started I have selected five of my favorites: Sibling Loss: Honoring, Not Forgetting In the United States today, there is a natural, assumed order to the deaths we will experience... Continue reading → The Unique Nature of Sibling Loss …day and I talk to him a lot. I’ve created a new relationship with him that continues on after death. Continue reading…

    Guilty! Sister Comforted That Murderer is Confined Forever

    The trial for my sister’s murderer ended yesterday. It was a very intense week to say the least. The state rested about 3:30 pm. The case was turned over to the jury about 4 pm. We waited. I felt confident. I knew the prosecutors had done their very best. Still we waited. Finally, about 4 hours later, we were told the jury had reached a verdict. At that moment, I remember thinking, I hope they get it right. I hope…

    The Three Ds of Dealing with Grief

    It will soon be two years since my dear sister was murdered.  Two years. Sometimes it seems like forever, yet most days, it seems like only yesterday.    Over the last two years, I have worked very hard on myself.  I have learned patience. I have learned to really not sweat the small stuff.  I have learned to let go of things I cannot control.  I have learned to make changes, healthy changes for myself.  It is a process, a…

    Casey Anthony Verdict Stirs Fears in Sister of Murdered Woman

    Like many people this past week, I heard the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial.  I did not follow the trial closely so I really don’t know what evidence was presented.  I do know that I have read much of the evidence was circumstantial.  With my sister’s murder trial postponed for the 7th time recently, I’ve thought a lot about that "not guilty" verdict.  I shudder to think when the trial finally does happen, that those two words be spoken.…

    Sibling Bonds

    You are my brother and always will be Not even death can take that away from me. The love we share is everlasting A bond that can never be broken.   I hate saying I miss you but It´s true.  Every day. The fights, the chats, the small things Mean even more now they´re gone.   I hold onto my memories, never Do I want to forget your life. You are my brother and always will be Not even death…

    Twin who Died in the Womb Became Guardian Angel

    Last fall, I gave my writing students a very powerful exercise taken from the work of Deena Metzger. The basic premise was to choose a traumatic incident from our past—one that changed the course of our lives for the worse—a moment when we felt betrayed or abandoned or alone, a moment when an essential part of ourselves went underground. We began by writing the story of that event. The next week, we rewrote it—this time creating a fictional version of…

    Father’s Day After the Death of a Brother

    “You know that story, Finding Nemo?” my 4-year-old nephew asked.  “That’s a story with a happy ending because he gets to find his daddy.”   It was six days since my brother, my nephew's father, had died and oh, how my heart broke hearing this simple observation. This will be our 5th Father’s Day without my brother.  On the first one, we planted a tree in his memory.  My nephew, then 5, held up the card he’d made for his dad,…