Military Loss | Suicide | Pregnancy Loss | Bereavement | Pet Loss | Men Only | Twin Losses | Grief Process
Pet loss grief is real, valid, and sometimes as intense as losing a person. Here’s the science behind why losing an animal companion hurts so deeply, and how to grieve a beloved pet without shame.
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Disenfranchised grief is loss that society doesn’t fully acknowledge — a pet, a miscarriage, an ex, an estranged parent. Here’s what disenfranchised grief means, why it’s so isolating, and why your grief is valid even when others don’t see it.
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Grieving Who We Were Before the World Changed I didn’t need another reason to mentally and emotionally struggle. It’s what I have always known, what continues for me. There is a quiet kind of grief that doesn’t always come with a clear ending. It’s the grief for the version of ourselves that existed before Covid struck, before uncertainty became the norm, and before we were reshaped by it. We not only lost loved ones, but we lost ourselves. We were quietly expected to continue, to move forward, but not everyone has been able to do that. Long-Covid is something many […]
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One is a cat owner, and the other has a dog. Both recently shared how difficult it will be when their pets die. They will need some downtime and space to adjust and grieve. Both thought that it might not be possible to return to work the next day. In another conversation, a man older than me shared how he still misses his dog. They had a routine, and he misses that routine along with his dog’s presence in his life and home. There was a younger woman, younger than me, who talked about how the death of her cat […]
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On Grieving the Death of One’s First Love Question from Barbara: Is it normal to grieve over someone you have not seen in 30 years? Recently, a guy who was my first boyfriend when I was 15 was murdered. He was 47. I have not seen him since we were 15. I did not expect to feel so much loss. I do not remember how or why we stopped seeing each other, or how long our relationship lasted. I only have 4 or 5 memories. I don’t understand why I feel such a deep loss. He was a great guy then, […]
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Death of an Ex-Spouse Dear Marty: I’m not really sure how to explain how I feel after losing my ex-spouse a month ago—especially since he died the same day that I was having major surgery. Consequently, after the death of my ex-spouse, I’ve had quite a few complications from my surgery. I had to take care of my two teenage boys and their grief the morning after surgery when I got the phone call about their father. The funeral (which was put on by his new young wife) was about the last four years of his life and didn’t talk […]
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Loving a Pet From as early on as I can remember, I have always connected with animals. My first pet was an orphaned lamb, Mary. I was obsessed with horses and fascinated with butterflies, frogs and caterpillars – any creatures that found their way into my world. Loving animals inevitably means at some point you have to say goodbye. Now, when I see people and the beautiful bond they have with their pets, my first thought is of the grief that lies ahead. The Healing Process Ever since my beautiful dogs Max and Blaze passed on, I have not been […]
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Son’s Grief Opens a Door I got a belated birthday card from my mother for my 41st birthday. “To Our Wonderful Daughter,” was scripted on the front, in gold, above a bouquet of pastel flowers. Inside, on the right page, in the same Hallmark font: “Another year of the one-and-only you.” On the left, was my mother’s black-scripted message: “Anne, I was only 22 when you were born. I didn’t want to have you, I had other things I wanted to do. But, here you are. Love, Mom”. My mother had been waging guerilla warfare on me my whole life. […]
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Childhood Pet was a Gift My father worked in a lab at MIT next door to an animal experimentation lab. The summer I was seven, he surprised us with a beagle puppy that the lab didn’t need anymore. He was so cute and cuddly. “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” was a song I heard all the time on the radio at our neighbors’ house. I immediately named the puppy Teenie. I loved this little dog. He was perfect. I would nestle beside him on the living room rug, rubbing his warm belly and pat- ting his soft […]
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Grief is a highly individual and complex emotional experience that manifests differently in each of us. People may express their grief through a variety of emotions and behaviours. Some common ways grief can manifest include: SADNESS AND TEARFULNESS Grief can often involve a deep sense of sadness with memories that can leave many people tearful. ANGER AND GUILT People can often feel angry at their situation, at themselves around their loss. Through grief, they may also direct their anger at others. Guilt around loss can be something individuals grapple with. Some individuals may also feel remorse, questioning if they should […]
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Embracing Grief When a Pet Dies In the midst of grieving, have you ever been surprised by a sign that you are on the right path or at the right place at the right time? Recently, I had to bid farewell to a beloved canine companion. The grief I am experiencing has been both heart-wrenching and strangely comforting, enriched by unexpected synchronicities that allowed me to embrace the purity of sadness and the joy of having loved a pet. I share this journey in the hope that it not only affirms something you may have experienced but also serves as […]
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Suicide Leaves Question of Why Five years ago, my nephew – my brother’s son – died by suicide. He left behind his wife, three precious young children, his mom, dad, and brother as well as extended family members, friends, and business acquaintances. The shock was palpable. Thoughts were confused, words were hard to come by, and “why?” was the question of the day. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the US and its incidence has increased approximately 30% since the year 2000. In 2021, there were over 48,000 deaths by suicide among 1.7 million suicide attempts. […]
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Letter to a Dear Pet Dear Blaze, my spirited and loyal friend. It has been twelve months since you transitioned. Just twelve months, yet it feels like a lifetime ago. Your empty bed still sits on the floor, the coat you would wear when you went for a walk to keep you warm in the cooler months is still draped over the chair. Your medication is still in the kitchen drawer. I am still not ready to put away your belongings; I would have to fully accept you aren’t coming back. Your life before coming to live with us was […]
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Dear Max – AKA squishy, macchiato, mackie, snowy, little man, maximus and monkey. I miss you so much. So much that it hurts to think about it. I haven’t fully processed losing you. The best I can do is grieve in small moments and then I shut my mind down to cope. You were my world for nineteen years. Your nose smudges (and Blaze’s) are still on the back glass door and windows, the two favourite spots where you kept a close eye on the world outside. My timber furniture still has chew marks in it as a reminder of […]
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Introduction Our animal family members provide us with joy, loyalty, and unconditional love. The loss of a beloved pet can be an excruciating experience. Despite that, our society can trivialise or even mock the extreme grief that many pet owners suffer during their bereavement. This sadness can be as intense as the loss of a partner, close relative, or friend. As research suggests, grief at the passing of a pet can last for months to a year or longer. Due to the fact most pets don’t live as long as their human owners, most owners will experience the loss of […]
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The Many Losses of COVID As humans, loss is something we all experience. One way to make sense of this is to look at a number of different types of loss. Make a copy of this list of 42 losses that could be related to the Covid pandemic. Then, place an X in the box next to each loss that you have experienced as a result of the pandemic during 2020-2022. Check the Loss Box ☐ Loss of the world as I knew it ☐ Loss of finances ☐ Loss of touch—handshakes, hugs, kisses ☐ Loss of job ☐ Loss […]
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Uvalde Murders Trigger Grief Ever since our daughter died in 2005, I have experienced heartbreak each time I learn of other children who have died. My own awareness of the depth and breadth of grief links me to each person who has lost a child, whether that child is a policeman, a soldier, or an 8-year-old. I now know that grief is a wound that takes years to heal. The senseless killing of the children in Ulvade brings out the motherhood of all human beings. These murders trigger grief for so many. We want to cradle the children and hug […]
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Every single day, I’m seeing news of another mass shooting. It’s not okay. And more than expressing our concern about gun laws, we need to have the conversations about grief. All of us grieve after mass shootings. We are traumatized. But few acknowledge the significance of this grief, let alone address it. So we need to have the conversations. With ourselves, each other, our children. Parents all over the globe want to protect their children. For many, this means shielding them from adult topics. But when is protecting actually harming? Children Mourn a Shooting This is the world we live in. These are […]
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Would you like more support with your pet loss journey? Are people saying things to you that don’t make sense or feel supportive? If so, it is important to consider the common pet loss myths on your healing journey. We have many pre-conceived ideas as to what death is about and how we “should” react to it or dread it. No matter where you are with your beliefs, it is important to approach these myths with an openness and willingness to heal. The key to making these myths help you is to be aware of them, know how you feel about […]
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Species are Threatened We don’t have to look far to read or hear about the devastating events that are happening in the world around us. Everybody knows this on some level and perhaps deep in their bones. Our seas are rising. Our ancient rain forests are being pillaged for oil, grazing and all kinds of other purposes. Bee populations are dying. Whales are beaching themselves, from having become entangled with fishing nets and colliding with ships. Fracking is causing earthquakes. The UN Report on Climate Change reports that 1 million species are threatened with extinction. (1) Parts of our country […]
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The 2020 Presidential election is over. We have a voted for a President Elect and Vice President Elect – Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. It was a race to the finish between the Red and the Blue. Some elations were that historical numbers of people stood patiently in long lines for hours. Unprecedented millions of people mailed in their votes due to the global pandemic COVID19. It was the largest number of votes registered in a presidential election ever. It was exciting and oftentimes fierce. But, as a nation now, what are some after-election deflations? The answer is that many […]
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On the evening of July 4th, 2019, I was sitting with my daughter Olivia and my son-in-law Patrick on their small New York City apartment terrace. In the far distance, the sky brightened in smudges of pastels as the fireworks boomed. Olivia said in a hushed voice, “I just wonder, where is she? Where is Stella?” She was talking about her dog, her soulful pet/baby Stella, an abused rescue Bichon-mix Patrick and Olivia had saved nine years ago. The little white dog was utterly devoted, followed Olivia around the apartment, spent hours, days, on Olivia’s lap, and whimpered when either […]
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Lately, I have had many patients come to see me to get grief counseling over the loss of a beloved pet. Their grief aroused my grief over my past losses. The thought came to me that we have a lot of attention focused on loss of a parent, loss of a child, loss of a spouse, or the loss of a friend, but it seems that there is little support for those who have lost a member of their fur family. For me, I have lost both an adult child and pets. I love my pets as much as I […]
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At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr Darcy Harris about families and their struggles with infertility and the unacknowledged loss. Darcy originally got interested in this topic when she was doing research on couples going through infertility treatment. The language they were using was the language of grief and loss even though there wasn’t a death in the traditional sense. They were mourning the loss of baby they were hoping for but never appeared. That experience got Darcy thinking more about non-death related loss. There is still a lot of misunderstanding when it […]
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At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer about burnout after the death of a loved one and how we can take care of ourselves. In the video below, Howard shares advice on how to deal with burnout following the death of a loved one. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first thing that comes to Howard’s mind, which is from his own experience dealing with the death of his parents, is that no matter how much you know about grief it doesn’t make the process any easier. […]
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How can you help children address pet loss? David Meagher, a professor emeritus at The City University of New York, explains that pets genuinely become part of a family. The grief many feel for their pets is on par with grief they may feel for a close family member. Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation discusses with Meagher how adults can help children address their grief and heal from it. This can be especially challenging when everyone in the family is experiencing acute grief from this traumatic loss. Many times, for a child, losing a pet is […]
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Registered nurse and licensed professional counselor Deborah Antinori joins Dr. Heidi Horsley to talk about pet loss, one of the most disenfranchised losses. She’s also a drama therapist and grief counselor. There are practical and emotional issues surrounding pet loss. When you lose a pet, it’s similar to any other kind of loss. Sadness, tearfulness, depression, and anxiety are all common. Pets are with you every day, and when they’re gone it feels like something is very wrong. You might feel angry with yourself—should you have taken them to the vet sooner? It’s easy to blame yourself, your vet, and […]
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In this webisode of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) organization, Ted Bowman joins the show to talk about different types of loss. Things rarely work out as planned. Dr. Gloria Horsley introduces Bowman as she asks about shattered dreams. “What are some of the factors around loss?” she asks. There are conspicuous losses, such as a death or a divorce. There are also internal losses that he calls shattered dreams or loss of dreams. It’s a “death” of what you expect life to be. You might be dealing with a death or a diagnosis, but you’re thinking, […]
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Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Sherry Belul to learn how she turned sadness and loss into hope with a practice of celebration. She is the author of The Love List of a Lifetime: Your Essential End-of-Life Planner with Practical Notes and Instructions for the Loved Ones You Leave Behind as well as Say It Now: 33 Creative Ways to Say I LOVE YOU to the Most Important People in Your Life. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Sherry-Belul_-The-Love-They-Leave-Behind_-Healing-After-Pet-Loss-Through-Celebration-and-Connection.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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In this episode, Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley speak with Allizandra Herberhold, LMSW, about the effects of losing a cousin to suicide. Herberhold is an Interventionist at Parents for Peace, supporting radicalized individuals and families, and leads a peer group for fathers of radicalized children with experience in inpatient and forensic settings.
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Are you mourning a pet? Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley, along with Certified Intuitive Practitioner Miki Jacobs, discuss ways to connect with departed pets. Jacobs is the author of Sacred Wild: The Spiritual World of Animals, Including Pets, and Its Interconnectedness with Ours. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Miki-Jacobs_-When-Love-Never-Leaves-Healing-and-Connecting-After-the-Loss-of-a-Pet.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Have you wondered what a deceased pet or loved one would say if they could speak? Join Dr’s Heidi and Gloria Horsley and their guest Julie Ryan Psychic Medium and Medical Intuitive. Julie is a businesswoman, inventor, author, podcaster, and a serial entrepreneur. She is the author of Angelic Attendants and Julie’s Angel Messages books. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Julie-Ryan_-Communicating-With-Spirits.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you curious about the afterlife? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley along with their guest, Graham Maxey, as they delve into the realm of Spiritually Transformative Experiences. Discover the Five Great Insights Everyone Can Gain from Communicating with the Departed. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Graham-Maxey_-After-Death-Communication.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Having difficulty dealing with the death of a pet. Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Anne Abel writer, comedian, and lover of pets. She is the author of “Mattie, Milo, and Me.” Her story about unwittingly rescuing an aggressive dog, Milo, after the death of her beloved dog, Mattie. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Anne-Abel-Healing-Pet-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Alan Pedersen shares his journey At the 47th National Conference of The Compassionate Friends; an enriching and supportive event for many newer and long-time bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. https://www.compassionatefriends.org https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Alan-Pedersen-The-Healing-Power-of-Laughter.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Alan Pedersen shares his journey At the 47th National Conference of The Compassionate Friends; an enriching and supportive event for many newer and long-time bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. https://www.compassionatefriends.org https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Alan-Pedersen-Laughter-and-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Erma Vaughans shares her thoughts At the 47th National Conference of The Compassionate Friends; an enriching and supportive event for many newer and long-time bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. https://www.compassionatefriends.org https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Erma-Vaughans-Sharing-The-Grief-Journey-With-Those-Who-Have-Been-There-Before.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Henry Maida shares his thoughts At the 47th National Conference of The Compassionate Friends; an enriching and supportive event for many newer and long-time bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. https://www.compassionatefriends.org https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Henry-Maida-Breath-Work-to-Heal.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Has losing a friend taken you down? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Jonas for a discussion of the complexity of the death of a friend. Jonas lost her best friend to cancer at age 19. She is the author and illustrator of Ham’s Big Adventure, a book written to help children cope with loss. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Jonas-Grieving-a-Friend.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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At the 46th Conference of The Compassionate Friends Steve Parker talks about finding what makes you whole in the grief conference. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Steve-Parker-Moving-Through-Your-Grief-Mind-Body-and-Soul.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Miss your pet? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and Rebecca Horsley Bara in an interview with Kevin Ringstaff for tips and tools on dealing with the loss of your beloved pet. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Kevin-Ringstaff_-Grieving-a-Deceased-Pet.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Have you considered the impact of grief on your brain? It is time that you did! Join Dr’s Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guest Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor for a discussion of the effects of grief on the brain and body. She is the author of the Grieving Brain. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Mary-Frances-OConnor_-The-Grieving-Brain.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Looking for support and help with your grief? Join Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guest Fred Guttenberg to learn how he found purpose after the death of his brother and the murder of his daughter. He is the author of Find the Helpers: What 9/11 and Parkland Taught Me About Recovery, Purpose, and Hope. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Fred-Guttenberg_-Grief-Support.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you feeling a connection with your deceased loved one pet or human but can’t quite explain it? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Patrice Karst for a heartwarming discussion of what links us all. Patrice is author of The Invisible String; The Invisible Leash; The Invisible Web; You Are Never Alone; co-author of The Invisible String Workbook. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Patrice-Karst_-Connections-with-the-Deceased.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you looking for a path toward healing a loss? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Melissa Lyons. Melissa has helped thousands transform and move forward after loss, tragedy and life derailments. She is the author of I Will Always Love You and Until We Meet Again. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Melissa-Lyons_-A-Path-Toward-Healing-Pet-and-Other-Losses.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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It is never too late to express your love to the deceased. Join Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley and Janet Gallin to share in the power of love through letter writing. Janet hosts the podcast Love Letters Live and leads writing workshops and provides consultation to private and corporate clients. You can find her at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTu5FPoKO81nqZfeMvNmJw/videos Love Letters Live talk show website is https://www.loveletterslive.com https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Janet-Gallin-Love-Letters-Healing-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Struggling with grief? Join Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley in an interview with Sharon Ehlers founder of Grief Reiki® – award-winning Author, Grief Educator, Death Midwife and Reiki Master Teacher. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Sharon-S-Ehlers-Dealing-With-Grief-On-A-Daily-Basis.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Fran Solomon never imagined she’d find herself in the field of death & dying. After triggering events brought episodes of deep grief, Fran refocused her energy into a quest for healing. She is the President and founder of HealGrief the only national agency addressing the needs specific to young adults ages 18-25 through Actively Moving Forward (AMF). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/Help-I-am-Grieving-Support-for-young-adults-ages-18-25-with-Fran-Solomon.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Linda Goldman is an adjunct professor at Johns Hopkins Graduate School and Kings College. Linda is the author of Lucy Let’s Go: Helping Children Love A Pet Through Death and Dying, Life and Loss, A Guide to Help Grieving Children, 3rd Edition, and Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death
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Is it possible to learn something from your grief? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Alan Pedersen as they discuss how grief can be a teacher. Joining them are, Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, Carin Mikos, Jan Jeremias, Bill Correll, Jordon Ferber, and Kelli Holst. Co-host Alan Pedersen has presented programs for grieving families in over 1,600 cities and is the former Executive Director for The Compassionate Friends. Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, is a somatic therapist, who started SIBS online, a weekly peer to peer support group. Carin Mikos, is the creator of Quietus House, and podcast host for In the Gap. Jan […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
