Loss of a Family Member

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    Traumatic Loss in the Military

    Posted on October 7, 2015 - by Bonnie Carroll

    Military loss is a unique kind of loss, but many others have been in your shoes. Bonnie Carroll shares her experience with Dr. Gloria Horsley. Carroll is the founder of TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors in the military). According to her, military loss is a very different experience. There are different words in our culture to talk about these kinds of losses. Someone “gave the ultimate sacrifice” and there’s even a national day of mourning. There are national cemeteries just for those who died in the military. You can find these throughout the country. These are all ways we […]

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    Summer Memories of my Father

    Posted on August 3, 2015 - by Michael Nunley

    Summer always comes with the memory of my father, Col. Billy F. Nunley’s funeral.  The funeral service was on July 2nd and that made the fireworks and military tributes of  July 4th a painful echo of the ceremony performed by the Air Force Honor Guard. The sky was a clear blue, the kind of day that sometimes prompted my father to say, “Good day to fly.”  The slow drive up to the gravesite took us past flags and flowers, ribbons and wreathes, all in red, white, and blue.  The young Air Force men and women carried out their duty flawlessly. […]

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    Living in the In-Between Time

    Posted on July 28, 2015 - by Charles W. Sidoti

    There is a classic psychological question you may be familiar with that is related to our ability to wait on God:  ”If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound?” When we pray the words of the Serenity Prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” we present God with three requests: 1) The first request is for the ability to accept the things that we cannot change. Here we […]

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    Don Lipstein: Losing a Soldier Son to Suicide

    Posted on July 27, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

    In this episode of The Open to Hope Radio show, Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Don Lipstein, who is a Peer Mentor Support and Training Coordinator for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of Military Loss (TAPS). Lipstein began working with TAPS in the summer of 2012, shortly after the suicide death of his son, Joshua. Today, he’s key in providing support and hope for other military family members who are in the early stages of their grief. Lipstein says TAPS aided him in pinpointing hope during the darkest of days. Lipstein notes that Joshua served two terms in […]

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  • ‘Lonely’ Not Powerful Enough Word to Describe Widowhood

    Posted on July 16, 2015 - by Catherine Tidd

    The Word ‘Lonely’ Not Strong Enough Loneliness in widowhood is not surprising.  I mean, even for the people who have never been through it, the loneliness of widows is a no-brainer.  But frankly, I think that lonely is not a strong enough word. There is a deep silence that comes with losing your spouse.  And it doesn’t matter if you’re standing in the middle of a crowded room; you will still notice it.  It’s the quiet that comes when you don’t have that familiar voice whispering in your ear at a wedding, “Can you believe she wore that?  I mean, what […]

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    What Bereaved Families Can Expect – Interview with Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

    Posted on December 2, 2014 - by Gloria Horsley

    HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART What Bereaved Families Can Expect As Time Goes On Host: Dr. Gloria Horsley With guest: Harriet Sarnoff Schiff June 16, 2005 Today I am much honored to have as my special guest international grief expert and author Harriet Sarnoff Schiff. Harriet Sarnoff Schiff is the author of two classic works on grieving, The Bereaved Parent and Living with Mourning. Her third book, How Did I Become my Parent’s Parent addresses the challenges of caring for elderly parents. Harriet is a licensed clinical social worker and former reporter for the Detroit News. She’s lectured throughout the United […]

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  • writer J.W. Basilo

    Writer J.W. Basilo on Starting Fresh When the Old Guard is Gone

    Posted on October 1, 2014 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

    How can you use a death and a birth to foster a new culture of decency around the dinner table? This and more when memory artist Nancy Gershman talks with Chicago-based writer, performer, and director J.W Basilo. A National and World Poetry Slam finalist, Basilo is also a PushCart Prize Nominee, and co-host of the Uptown Poetry Slam. His work has appeared on NPR, CBS, WGN and the Chicago Tribune. Catch him on http://BustedMouth.com and http://chicagoslamworks.com. Start a tradition when the Old Guard dies New at the head of the table? Speak your mind Be truthful about the dead without crossing yourself Complete the conversation before anyone’s dying, […]

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    Beyond Williams and Rivers, the Everyday Superstars: The Caregivers

    Posted on September 8, 2014 - by Tambre Leighn

    Over the past few weeks, we’ve lost two major comedic forces, Robin Williams and Joan Rivers, both of whom brought great joy and laughter to our world. Accolades and impact statements have flooded the Internet, along with heartfelt condolence messages. How wonderful for their families to feel this outpouring of love and respect. Yet away from the bright lights of Hollywood, every day, thousands of families experience the loss of loved ones ~ through suicide, tragic accidents, and illness. Often these families have made great sacrifices to care for their loved ones. Medical bills have crushed them. Mounds of insurance […]

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    Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death

    Posted on March 28, 2014 - by Linda Goldman

    Ordinary fears are a normal part of a child’s developmental growth, and children create internal and external mechanisms to cope with these fears. But a child’s ordinary fears can be transformed into very real survival fears in the face of severe trauma. After children experience the death of a parent, they often feel alone and different. Frightened because their once comfortable world now seems unpredictable and unsafe, they may react in ways that we as adults can truly not judge, understand, or anticipate. The impact of a dad’s or mom’s death in the military can be so traumatically disturbing that […]

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    New Year’s Resolutions for the Caregiver

    Posted on January 2, 2014 - by Carol O'Dell

    By Carol O’Dell —

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    New Year’s Resolutions After a Spouse-Loss

    Posted on January 1, 2014 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

    Give yourself a big pat on the back! You’ve just survived the holidays, one of the toughest times for anyone grieving a loss. Now you’re probably looking ahead and wondering how you’ll ever make it through the next twelve months. Here are five suggestions to help gently ease you along the bumpy road of bereavement: 1. Remember to keep any resolutions realistic. You’re not your usual self while you’re grieving, so be gentle with yourself. 2. Set at least one small, “bite-size” goal every day, such as tackling a couple of tasks. Be sure to reward yourself after each effort. […]

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    Enjoying the Holidays … Differently

    Posted on October 26, 2013 - by Chris Mulligan

    By Chris Mulligan — It’s time to party! the television advertisements say this time of year. Party? How could I party when some days I did not even want to get out of bed? I did not want to go to work. I did not want to confront my day. How could I party when I could not even look at my face to put on a happy one? Getting through one’s days are difficult at best after the death of a child, but enduring the holiday season seems almost impossible to surmount. Depending upon the length of time in […]

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    How the Graveyard Became a Place of Peace

    Posted on October 18, 2013 - by Alice Wisler

    There’s the joke about the cemetery. “How many dead people are in there?” The answer: “All of them.” Or, “People are dying to get in there.” It brought a smile to my lips the first time a ten-year-old told me. But after my son died, I was wondering why there are so many jokes about death and being dead. “We joke about what we fear,” Daniel’s pediatric oncologist at UNC-Chapel Hill’s Hospital told me. Well, I don’t fear the cemetery anymore. The movies and TV shows, especially around Halloween, like to depict the graveyard as a scary place with ghosts […]

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    My Words to Live By: I Am Open

    Posted on June 18, 2013 - by Laurel D. Rund

    I recently spent some time with a special friend and she told me how she came to name her upcoming book  (which I hope to feature in a future blog).  What follows is my reaction to the story of her experience. At a New Year’s Day service, which is a time of beginnings, my friend participated in a “White Stone Ceremony.”  During the ceremony, each person was given a white stone and participated in a meditation which lead them into receiving a word that encouraged their spirit to celebrate a new beginning. My friend was asked to hold her stone, […]

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    A Father’s Day Perspective

    Posted on June 16, 2013 - by Sandy Fox

    by Sandy Fox Happy Father’s Day to all fathers. Today is your day, and I hope you celebrate it with loved ones. Many fathers react differently to this day depending on where they are in their lives, especially a bereaved father. One bereaved father wrote this poem: As this day approaches, I wonder how I will react. Am I still a father? I will sit quietly never allowing family and friends to see how I feel. I will miss my son, but I can’t allow myself to “break.” I must remain strong and always be the “rock.” I wish I […]

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    Father’s Day Eve…

    Posted on June 15, 2013 - by Eric Tomei

    Ok, so obviously this isn’t a real holiday, but it is to me.   This made up holiday, is the day before my toughest day of the year, Father’s Day.   It is the one day of the year where I feel really different from everybody else, and only a few people in my life can truly understand what I am really going through.   They say, through time that the loss gets easier which is true to a point.   You never forget it though.   A little part of you wants to celebrate what everybody else does, but […]

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    Father’s Day: Time to Discard Anger and Guilt

    Posted on June 11, 2013 - by Sandra Pesmen

    By Sandra Pesmen — If you want to celebrate any holiday, especially Father’s Day, you have to learn to deal with anger and guilt. Whether we widows admit it or not, when our spouse dies, most of us feel guilty because we survived. We fear we may not have been as kind as we could have been all the time. We feel guilty because we didn’t prepare his favorite dinner more often. We feel guilty because we made him see movies (and people) he didn’t like. There are endless “guilts,” says therapist Judy Berg, of Highalnd Park, Ill., who spoke […]

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    A Different (But Good) Father’s Day

    Posted on June 9, 2013 - by Eric Tomei

    Father’s Day is the day that I least look forward to on the calendar.   I know what you’re saying, “Come on Eric, Father’s Day is 4 months away.”   Absolutely right, but bear with me.   As all of you know you have lost a loved one close to your heart, it could be a birthday, anniversary or any other special day that triggers the memories of that particular individual in both a good way (remembering the past), and bad way (no more memories to create for the future.)   Father’s Day just happens to be my day. My […]

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    Father’s Day Tough for Those Who Lost Child

    Posted on June 5, 2013 - by Sandy Fox

    Happy Father’s Day to all fathers. Today is your day, and I hope you celebrate it with loved ones. Many fathers react differently to this day depending on where they are in their lives; it may be especially difficult for a father who has lost a child. One bereaved father wrote this poem: As this day approaches, I wonder how I will react. Am I still a father? I will sit quietly never allowing family and friends to see how I feel. I will miss my son, but I can’t allow myself to “break.” I must remain strong and always […]

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    Against The Winds of Grief: My Thoughts on The Oklahoma Tragedy

    Posted on May 22, 2013 - by David Roberts

    Nature and all that it encompasses can bear many blessings.  A glorious sunset, a gentle rain and a cool breeze can soothe us even in the most tumultuous of times and perhaps even provide valuable teachings that promote clarity on our life’s journey. Nature can also be an relentless and  destructive force as evidenced by Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy,  the Joplin, Missouri tornado, and most recently the tornado that ravaged Moore ,Oklahoma. In addition to the widespread destruction of homes, 24 individuals, including 8 children, died and another 273 were injured, leaving a community and nation grieving and again searching […]

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    Celebrating Memorial Day – My Way

    Posted on May 21, 2013 - by Sandra Pesmen

    Around Memorial Day, many people go to the cemetery to spruce up their loved ones’ graves. They want visitors to see that they are nicely cared for. I don’t have to do that because I know I can trust the cemetery in Arlington Heights, IL, where our loved ones rest, to do it for me.But that doesn’t mean I have nothing else to do. I now have established my own Memorial Day ritual. I make a trip around our home, inside and out, following a path my husband used to take each spring.  This year I saw a lightbulb outside […]

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    What “Red and Me “Taught Me About The Grief Journey

    Posted on March 20, 2013 - by David Roberts

    A Boston State of Mind I have been a Boston Celtics fan since I was fourteen years old. I know that there are many New Yorkers who like Boston teams, but from my experience it has been mainly the Boston Red Sox. I may be one of the few New Yorkers who has ever liked the Boston Celtics. When it comes to basketball, many New Yorkers are primarily New York Knicks fans. I always liked the Celtics because they played great team basketball, weren’t hung up on individual accomplishments and had players and coaches who conducted themselves with integrity. My […]

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    For a Widow, Valentine’s Day Evolves

    Posted on February 17, 2013 - by Katy Hutchison

    By Katy Hutchison — Over the years, my experience around Valentine’s Day has softened and shifted focus. The first year after my husband’s death I wanted to crawl in a hole the minute I saw that first red and pink heart-shaped display in the grocery store. On February 14th I didn’t answer my phone and avoided the efforts of well meaning friends and family to “get me through” the day. I had every reason to wallow in sadness; and I took the opportunity to feel the pain of my loss head-on. The next year, I managed to create a space […]

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    Out of the Closet, Valentine Delights Again

    Posted on February 14, 2013 - by Darcie Sims

    The lace has grown yellow with age. The edges are tattered, and the glue that held the pieces together has long dried up, leaving only a slight stain on the faded red paper. It is much smaller than I remembered. Perhaps time has caused it to shrink. It seems so fragile, resting here in my palm. The words have nearly faded and even the heavy crayon marks have lost their luster over the years. There’s a smudge of unknown origin on the back, near where the paper was rubbed dangerously thin by uncounted erasure marks. The name is barely legible; […]

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    Five Tips When Valentine’s Day is Haunting You

    Posted on February 13, 2013 - by Kira Copperman

    As Valentine’s Day approaches, we are all bombarded with images of romance, relationships and love. Starting in early January, it seems like every business has something to sell related to romance and is trying to capitalize on and add to the societal pressure created to make February 14th a magical day. For those people who are in love, Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful, memorable celebration but for people who are alone, it can be a difficult, endless day. As Valentine’s Day approaches, negative feelings about being alone may seem unavoidable; sad thoughts and even depression are common occurrences around […]

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    Leaving My Former Self Behind: 10 Years After My Daughter’s Death

    Posted on January 29, 2013 - by David Roberts

      The Power in Pain March 1,2013 will mark the 10th angelversary of my 18-year-old daughter Jeannine’s death. At times, I wonder how I made it ten minutes, much less ten years. During my early grief, I never thought I would experience joy again, nor did I ever believe that my life would have meaning again, without my daughter’s physical presence. However, my perspective on Jeannine’s death has changed because I made a conscious effort to do so and because of the support and spiritual guidance that I have received along the way. It has been an empowering feeling to […]

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    The End of the Innocence: Honoring the Sandy Hook Families

    Posted on December 26, 2012 - by David Roberts

    Living With Ambiguity The older I get, the more that I realize how quickly and drastically life can change. There are some events that defy logic, and despite our best efforts to try to make sense of them,  many unanswered questions will remain. I have learned in the almost ten years since the death of my own child to live with some unanswered questions, some ambiguity. I believe that as long as I do my best to find meaning and significance  in a world that has permanently changed and  can help others in the process, I can live with some […]

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    The Halloween Graveyard

    Posted on October 28, 2012 - by Tom Zuba

    The other day, while mindlessly driving down a narrow, fall-colored, leaf-filled neighborhood street, I noticed that Halloween decorations were beginning to appear.  Pumpkins.  Ghosts.  Witches.  And then the graveyard. I slowed down to take it all in.  The Halloween graveyard. This particular family had elaborately constructed a very real-looking cemetery complete with a spider-webbed decorated iron fence, an ominous looking entry gate and more tombstones than I cared to count.  I smiled a little and shook my head.  Innocent and ignorant I’ve come to call them. Twenty years ago my response was different.  Twenty years ago, my wife and I […]

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    Episode 43: Military Related Suicide

    Posted on May 7, 2015 - by admin

    On this show Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley discuss with Janet Burroway, New York Times best selling author, her book “Losing Tim” a memoir about the death of her oldest son, Tim, a U.S. soldier and contractor who served in Iraq and died by suicide in 2004 at age 40. They then show a film clip produced by The Stop Soldier Suicide Foundation and interview CEO Brian Kinsella.

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    Episode 31: Forgiveness

    Posted on February 12, 2014 - by admin

    On This show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley discuss with Fred Luskin Ph.D. the rationale for forgiveness and why forgiveness is necessary. Radha Stern author and victims advocate will join Dr. Luskin to discuss how she deals with forgiveness when the man who murdered her son shows no remorse. The show closes with music by Randy Cookson and Peter Anderson.

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    Episode 30: Pet Loss

    Posted on February 12, 2014 - by admin

    On This show Dr. Gloria Horsley; and Dr. Heidi Horsley discuss the death of a pet with pet loss experts Bonnie Goodman and Dr. Betty J. Carmack, R.N., Ed.D. Betty is a researcher and author of “Grieving the Death of a Pet”. Bonnie is a certified Thanatologist and grief Counselor. The show closes with music by Peter Anderson and Randy Cookson.

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    Episode 25: Healing With Art and Humor

    Posted on December 10, 2013 - by admin

    On this show comic writer and comedian Carol Scibelli and art therapist Barbara ‘Basia’ Mosinski give Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley tips and insight into how humor and art helped them to get through the deaths of family members including a spouse, step-son, and parent.  Carol is the author of Poor Widow Me.  Singer, songwriter Larry Stevens closes the show.

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    Episode 23: Loss as an Inspiration for the Creative Process

    Posted on December 10, 2013 - by admin

    On this show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley discuss with Mary Skinner, documentary film maker, how her deceased mother inspired her award winning film “Irene Sendley:  In The Name of Their Mothers”.  Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi then interview singer songwriter Billy Bensing regarding his music and the impact of the loss of his girlfriend, Sally, as a young man.  The show will close with Billy Bensing and Kelly Garmire singing Butterfly dedicated to Sally Morath.

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    Episode 20: Finding Meaning After Loss

    Posted on December 10, 2013 - by admin

    On This show Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley explore the topic of finding meaning after loss.  They interview two inspirational women who rather than be broken by their experience have used their tragic losses to make meaning and to help others. The first guest is Ann Khadalia Social Worker and national board member of The Compassionate Friends and the second guest is Susan Whitmore founder and president of griefHaven. The show closes with I Will Friend You, sung by singer-songwriter Michael Davis.

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    TAPS and Military Death: Dr Heidi Horsley

    Posted on February 25, 2013 - by admin

    Dr Horsley talks about TAPS, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors of Military Loss, this amazing organization serves military families.  

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    Suggestions for Dealing with the Media: Dr Heidi Horsley

    Posted on February 25, 2013 - by admin

    When there is a public loss how do we talk to the media?  

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    Boys, Men and Grief: Dr Heidi Horsley

    Posted on February 25, 2013 - by admin

    How can we talk to boys and men about grief?  

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