The Healing Power of a Grief Letter

    Dear Family, There were so many things we didn’t get to do, and our time together was cut short. Physical and mental ailments prevented us from living out all the plans we made, but we still made the most of our time together. Y’all beat the odds and lived longer than anyone expected for people in your condition. God didn’t answer my prayers to take away the sicknesses, but He granted me favor through temporary healings and the blessing of…

    Dreamtime

    As I drifted off to sleep last night, my heart hummed with a familiar warmth and, in its secret way, sent out a quiet invitation to those nocturnal angels who watch over us at night. I found myself in one of those quasi-dream states in which most of me was dreaming, but there was a sliver of awareness that could witness what unfolds.  I was standing alone in the gauzy grey of twilight, underneath a large exterior deck of a…

    Forgiveness

      I reread the rabbi’s eulogy from my beloved sister Jane’s funeral. He said,  “There is no satisfactory answer to understanding why bad things happen to good people. Not all questions have answers. Unanswered “whys” are part of life. The way to face tragedy is with love. Use the love we had for Jane to forgive ourselves.” Focusing on his words helped me knock down roadblocks to forgive myself.” Forgiveness for me was not a quick fix, magic bullet, instant…

    The Quiet Work of Healing After Loss

    Grief Changes You – Awareness Helps You to Rebuild Loss changes you. It’s natural to feel lonely and unsure when someone important is no longer there. When depression that follows loss is part of the picture, everything can feel heavier and harder to move through. For a long time, that weight can feel constant – like you’re moving through fog. Separation can also create a space you don’t recognize, but it can also help you see yourself without old patterns…

    Sibling Loss: Why Surviving Brothers and Sisters Are the Forgotten Grievers

    When a sibling dies, you don't just lose a brother or sister. You lose your oldest witness. The keeper of your childhood. The person who knew the family you came from in the same bones-deep way that you did. The one who was supposed to walk into old age beside you, swapping stories about what your parents were really like. And yet, when a sibling dies, the world tends to ask, "How are your parents holding up?" I lost my…

    Mother’s Day After Loss: 9 Compassionate Ways to Cope with Grief on a Tender Holiday

    There is a particular ache that arrives with Mother's Day after loss. The greeting cards in the grocery store. The brunch reservations everyone seems to be making. The social media posts that begin to fill your feed days before the holiday even arrives. For those of us who are grieving, Mother's Day can feel less like a celebration and more like a tender, exposed nerve. If you have lost your mother, this day can feel like an annual reminder of…

    The Things You Loved Most

     Have you ever lost someone close, and in the brain fog of grief, wondered if you might forget some of the things you loved most about them? Their infectious belly laugh, extravagant generosity, or maybe their unconditional love for people? I get it.   Since losing several of my closest and favorite family members- my beloved Mom, Dad, Nana, sister-in-love, Kay, and most recently, my “splendiferous” (his word) brother Mike, I’ve been trying to dig deep and remember exactly what…

    Grief Doesn’t End: My Brother’s Birthday and the Pain of Secondary Loss

    Monday is my brother's birthday, and he has been gone for almost four years. I have been more emotional for weeks, and I didn’t even realize it; it hit me like a brick wall the other day. Grief is crazy like that; how it can just come in and take over like a bad storm, and you don’t even realize it. Today I got a text from his wife, in a group chat with my other brother and his wife.…

    Skating for My Beloved Sisters

    Skating is a sport I shared with my beloved sisters. When we were young girls, we proudly carried our skates in plaid bags and raced to be the first ones on the ice. Margie, my older sister, the most talented, Jane, the youngest, was athletic, and I, the middle sister, a bit of a klutz. Little did I know that skating would become the chord that would bind me, honor, and remember, and forever find peace and joy with my…

    Memories and Messages. Merry Christmas from the Other Side

    Christmas had always been a special time for me. The anticipation of Christmas day - decorating the tree and house, buying presents, beautiful food and spending time with family. But over time, Christmas has lost its sparkle. While I still appreciate the day with people I love – it no longer holds the same energy as years before. The excitement has been replaced more with a time for reflection and a longing for times gone by. Grief has woven her…