Loss of a Family Member

After Loss of a child

We know the pain can be unbearable. Read stories and find community. You need not be alone in your journey.

Articles

  • Twenty Years after the Death, Mother Honors Her Child

    Posted on June 9, 2025 - by Janice Bell Meisenhelder

    Twenty Years after the Death As bereaved parents, we need encouragement to remember and honor our children as often and as long as we wish. There is no time limit on grieving. Any time is appropriate to bring attention to the memory of a loved one. In my initial years following the physical death of my 19-year-old daughter, Melissa, unspeakable pain overwhelmed my life. Although I functioned, heartbreak ruled my existence. Ever so slowly color began to mingle with the darkness of grief. Now, twenty years after the death, the tapestry of my life is filled with peace, joy, love, […]

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  • Grief is a Teacher, Teacher Says

    Posted on June 3, 2025 - by Dolores Cruz

    Grief is a Teacher It had been only six weeks since my 24-year-old son was killed in a car accident. That amazing young drummer who charmed most anyone he met with his good looks and kind personality, the one with the sparkle in his eyes that hinted at a bit of mischief, the one people were drawn to by his charismatic personality, the one who never in 24 years hesitated to hug his mom in front of his friends and audibly tell her he loved her. Yeah, that one. His physical presence was now gone, and though my raw grief […]

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  • Handling Grief Triggers

    Posted on June 3, 2025 - by Linda Henderson

    Handling Grief Triggers Triggers are a natural and inevitable part of grieving. It is essential not to avoid them, as not all are negative. When we find ways to prepare and cope with triggers, we are honoring the lives of our precious loved ones. Triggers are anything that causes the emotions of Grief to transport us back to moments that feel as vivid as the day of loss, reminding us of our weakest point. Triggers creep around every corner and attack without warning. Have you ever been going about your day — grocery shopping, taking the kids to school, showering, […]

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  • Mother Finds Comfort Saying Daughter’s Name

    Posted on May 29, 2025 - by Harriet Hodgson

    Few ask how I’m doing these days. Friends have resumed their lives and so have I. Today, I’m living a new, meaningful and happy life. Yet there are times when the pain of losing my daughter in 2007 hits without warning. Suddenly, I am transported back in time and see terrible images from the hospital emergency room. Since these mental pictures drag me down, I consciously switch my thoughts to positive pictures, such as my twin grandchildren graduating from high school. I’m glad I learned how and when to do this. Though we all go through grief, Americans tend to […]

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  • Moving after Loss: The Grief of Leaving the Home You Love

    Posted on May 27, 2025 - by Harriet Hodgson

    Moving after Loss Moving is one of the most stressful experiences of life. My husband and I have moved so many times we’ve lost count and we’re good at moving. We’ve lived in our present house for 20 years, the longest time we’ve lived anywhere, and made the house our own. This house has nurtured us through some tough times and now we must move. In the fall, my husband’s aorta dissected for the second time. He had three emergency surgeries, including a 13-hour operation to graft a Dacron descending aorta to his existing aorta. It was life-threatening surgery. His […]

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  • Why I Talk to Light Bulbs: I See My Dead Son

    Posted on May 26, 2025 - by Betsy Thibaut Stephenson

    Why I Talk to Light Bulbs I see my dead son everywhere. Within days of Charlie’s death by suicide three years ago, I noticed flickers everywhere. He’s out of reach, and my brain knows it, but my brain keeps looking for him. He has thoroughly infiltrated my senses, revealing himself in sounds like clinking beer bottles, the rumbling laughter of his father, and the flicker of the lights that illuminate my bathroom vanity. When I was thick with grief, unable to eat or focus or track simple conversations, muscle memory pulled me through the motions of simple hygiene each morning. […]

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    Nature and Grief: Empowering Teachings from the World Around Us

    Posted on May 23, 2025 - by David Roberts

    Nature and Grief Following the death of my eighteen-year-old daughter Jeannine in March of 2003, I embraced non-ordinary phenomena to help me develop new insights. One of the things that became clear to me was that we do survive death, and that our deceased loved ones communicate their ongoing existence to us. My willingness to understand the significance of signs and their underlying connections have allowed me to develop clarity and find my peace with Jeannine’s death.  There are many individuals who don’t believe in signs or for whatever reason have not received them. However, there are different ways to […]

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  • Scripting Our Own Grief Paths after the Death of Our Children

    Posted on May 17, 2025 - by David Roberts

    Relationship Continues after Daughter’s Death The relationship that I continue to share with my daughter Jeannine following her death in 2003 has on most days allowed me to embrace a peaceful perspective.  As part of our ongoing relationship, she has regularly communicated signs of her presence. In the beginning, I longed for signs because the pain of her physical absence was unbearable. Today, I still welcome signs from my daughter but no longer rely on them. Jeannine makes her presence known when I need it most or simply when she desires contact with me. I also know that I can […]

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  • After Loss: Fear Can Be An Asset to Grieving Individuals

    Posted on May 13, 2025 - by David Roberts

      “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear”– C.S. Lewis This first line in C.S. Lewis’s book A Grief Observed , inspired me to reflect on how I experienced fear during the early days of grief following my daughter Jeannine’s death. Jeannine was eighteen when she died on March 1,2003 from cancer. My fear manifested in uncertainty about my ability to live again in a world without my daughter. I feared that my other children would also die. These fears were triggered because my once predictable ,orderly and safe world was a distant memory. To […]

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  • grief and hope

    How to Build Support After a Major Loss

    Posted on May 8, 2025 - by Gloria Horsley

    How to Build Support After a Major Loss In this reflective account, the conversation centers on personal loss, the steady process of healing, and the search for meaning after overwhelming tragedies. The discussion highlights the journey of a survivor who has experienced multiple heartbreaking losses in a brief period. Through honest storytelling and creative expression, the guest shares how she has managed deep sorrow while still remaining open to hope. A Journey Marked by Sudden Loss The narrative begins with raw recollections of loss that reshaped a life. The guest, a school teacher and writer, recounts the devastating impact of […]

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  • Setting the Intention to Live Again

    Posted on April 28, 2025 - by Dolores Cruz

    Setting the Intention to Live Again That cruel knock on the door was not my first introduction to grief, but it was, by far, the most brutal. My kind, compassionate, and very handsome 24-year-old son, my youngest of four wonderful children, had not come home that night. My mother’s heart was extremely worried. But that loud knock shook me to my core, and something deep inside of me knew what it was. It was 5:30 AM. My daughter, Vanessa, who followed me downstairs to the door, was the only one home as my husband was out of town on business. […]

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  • Why the Death of a Child is Unique Among Losses

    Posted on April 14, 2025 - by Greg Adams

    The Death of a Child is Unique When Ruby Cooper was 16 years old, she gave birth to twins, and she told this story as part of The Moth Radio Hour podcast, https://themoth.org/stories/giving-and-receiving. One baby died at birth and the other was a boy later diagnosed with cerebral palsy. In was 1960, and her son’s doctor recommended that Ruby place her son in an institution so that he could be “with his kind.” Ruby responded that she was his mother and thus “his kind,” and she would raise him herself. Overwhelmed with the responsibility of raising a son with special […]

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  • The Lessons of Grief

    Posted on April 7, 2025 - by Linda Henderson

    The Lessons of Grief Grief is ugly. It is raw, relentless, and merciless. It does not come gently or leave quietly. Grief stormed into my life like a natural disaster, shattering everything I once knew and leaving me with a version of myself I no longer recognize. It did not ask for permission and knew no boundaries. Grief is powerful and invades my entire body. It gives pain a new definition. Grief makes me cry until I am tearless and gasping to breathe. Until every muscle in my body aches from the sobbing, and I feel hollow. The emptiness it […]

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  • Father Pens 30th Birthday Message to Deceased Son

    Posted on March 8, 2025 - by Ron Villano

    Message to Deceased Son My son, Michael, was born 30 years ago today.  It would have been amazing to see what he would have looked like.   I often dream about what he would be doing with his life.  Married?  Kids?  Or…  still living at home?!? Well, he is still at home.  His stocking is on my fireplace at Christmas.  His picture is on the mantle and in my home office.  Michael is also at work, in my wallet, and on the internet.  His rap CD, just recently created from old cassette tapes,  is being heard by others for the first […]

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  • Lucky Hat: Rituals Keep Parents’ Hope Alive

    Posted on February 27, 2025 - by Lisa Buell

    Rituals Keep Parents’ Hope Alive The double doors are closed to Three North at Stanford Children’s Hospital, where my daughter Madison is supposed to get her chemotherapy. It’s our second session, Maddy is seven months old sitting patiently in her stroller as I come up to the thick double doors. This is a very bad sign, these door being closed. Maybe Maddy shouldn’t get chemo today. These doors haven’t been closed before, something’s wrong. The hair stands up on my arms, a tingling sensation crawls up my back, sits on my head like a hat. My partner Nancy is down […]

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  • Bereaved Aunt Asks, ‘Where Do I Fit In?’

    Posted on February 27, 2025 - by Marty Tousley

    Question from a Reader: Two months ago, my 21-year-old nephew, my sister’s only child, was killed in a car accident.  I was 19 when he was born.  I have feelings of love for him almost as if he were my own son.  But I can’t find others like me.  I have searched a few online forums, and it seems there isn’t a specific place for me to go.  Where do I fit in?  Also, I feel so guilty — something similar to “survivor’s guilt.”  I wonder how my sister can stand to look at me, at my 20-year-old daughter, at […]

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  • fathers journey through fentanyl

    Journey Through Fentanyl Loss

    Posted on February 18, 2025 - by Gloria Horsley

    Journey Through Fentanyl Loss The devastating impact of fentanyl poisoning has touched countless families across America, leaving behind grieving parents searching for understanding and hope. Mark Banarczyk’s story of losing his 17-year-old son Thomas to fentanyl poisoning offers a powerful perspective on grief, forgiveness, and finding purpose after tragedy. Thomas Banarczyk was an Eagle Scout and Christian who died after taking what he believed was Xanax purchased through Snapchat. The pill contained a lethal dose of fentanyl instead. His death in May 2021, during the COVID-19 pandemic, highlights a critical distinction in how these deaths should be viewed – not […]

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  • music grief purpose

    Music and Grief After Losing a Child

    Posted on February 17, 2025 - by Gloria Horsley

    In a deeply moving conversation on the Open to Hope podcast, musician and author Nate McClendon shares his transformative journey through grief following the tragic loss of his 18-year-old daughter Naomi, who died in an accidental fall from a ten-story building in February 2014. McClendon, currently serving as the community engagement specialist at Kansas State University’s Beach Museum of Art, brings a unique perspective to grief and healing through his background as a musician who has worked with prestigious organizations including the Grammy Foundation and the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. The Evolution of Love and Understanding Ten years […]

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  • Winter Without Son is Lusterless

    Posted on January 14, 2025 - by John French

    When your child dies, the holidays quickly lose their luster. The entire spectrum of lights is muted to a dull gray, while the endless barrage of seasonal music only brings out the blues. When you combine that with freezing temperatures and the whirlwind of activities, it can lead to treacherous living conditions. Additionally, a string of silent nights bring neither comfort nor joy. I spend a tremendous amount of time and effort during the holidays trying to block out the past and ignore the present. Why? Because all the great memories reiterate how much I have lost. But without them, […]

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  • Five Tips After the Death of a Child

    Posted on December 18, 2024 - by Fran Gerstein

    Five Tips After the Death of a Child From the moment you get the news that your child has died, you are thrust into a surreal world. People are calling—including doctors, nurses, detectives, police, coroners, and funeral directors. You are disoriented, yet there are decisions that require your attention and macabre tasks you must attend to. Most of us rise to the occasion and react later. When you look back, you will undoubtedly wonder, “How did I get through that?” You will also be emotionally and physically confused for a long time. Take care of your mind and body and […]

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  • Black is the Color of Death

    Posted on December 12, 2024 - by Perry Grosser

    Black is the Color of Death I am sure you have seen them, and maybe even wear one or two – those different color silicone awareness bracelets – and they all have their own meaning. Camouflage to support the troops. Orange for Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus and Melanoma. Silver for Dyslexia. And on and on. Black, the color I focus on, is for mourning, POW/MIA, and for some reason Restless Leg Syndrome and Colitis. Matt and I were talking about the black bracelet and what it means to us, the bereaved parents of military personnel, and why black. We both agreed […]

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  • Synchronicity in Grief

    Posted on November 26, 2024 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

    What is Synchronicity in Grief? Have you ever had an experience where you said, “Wow, what a coincidence.”  Maybe it was more.  Maybe it was actually a “synchronicity.” Let me explain through a Jungian perspective. Carl Jung, the prominent Swiss psychiatrist, believed synchronicity meant “more than a coincidence.”  Jung, the thinker and founder of analytical psychology, connected synchronicities to the bigger world: the collective unconscious.  These were not just assumptions on his part. Jung believed the collective unconscious was universal (meaning common to all people) because he listened and researched for decades the overlapping stories and myths that people shared […]

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  • Even the Smallest Life Matters

    Posted on November 11, 2024 - by Aura Rose

    Even the Smallest Life Matters The life of your child matters. Your experience of holding them whether in your womb or in your arms matters. All life matters. No matter how fleeting or small—whether it was that magical moment of conception where you felt that swell of hope for new life, or that moment when you sensed the fluttering of butterfly wings in your belly as the song of a new heartbeat joined in the song of creation, or you birthed into this world the perfectly formed vessel that housed a precious spirit, that life mattered. That soul has a […]

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  • Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child

    Posted on November 8, 2024 - by Alice Wisler

    Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child That holiday-pang hit my stomach the first October after Daniel died. Greeting me at an arts and craft shop were gold and silver stockings, a Christmas tree draped with turquoise balls and a wreath of pinecones and red berries. What was this? And was “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” playing as well? It was only October. I had anticipated that Christmas and the holidays would be tough. In fact, I’d wake on those cold mornings after Daniel died in February and be grateful that it was still months until his […]

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  • I Need to Say Her Name: Surviving the Holidays

    Posted on November 4, 2024 - by Harriet Hodgson

    Surviving the Holidays In 2007 my elder daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Helen loved Christmas and the first one without her was indescribably painful. I thought the second Christmas without Helen would be easier for me. It wasn’t. In fact, my grief seemed worse. While my grief has eased during the passing years, every bereaved parent knows holidays can spark grief again. We go backwards on the recovery/reconciliation path and may come to dread the holidays. We’ve lived another year without a child and there are more years to come. So how can we […]

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  • Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death

    Posted on October 30, 2024 - by Cathy Seehuetter

    Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death On the evening I type this, the nip in the October air is a reminder that the major holidays are just around the corner. Halloween decorations have been in the stores since July and Christmas décor even as early as August. For those of us who are bereaved parents, siblings and/or grandparents this means the sooner they are “in our face” the longer we have the constant reminders that we will be facing the holidays without our child. Whether it is your first Halloween following your child’s death or years down the road, such […]

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  • Keep Child’s Memory Alive Through Words and Celebrations

    Posted on October 27, 2024 - by Louise Lagerman

    Keep Child’s Memory Alive Four years ago, I lost my beautiful 23-year-old daughter, Keren. Therefore, I know firsthand how painful it is to lose a child. At first, I really didn’t think I would survive, and almost didn’t. I knew I needed help and reached out through the internet to find other grieving parents, who would understand my pain and grief. I needed to know that I was not alone. At that time, I couldn’t bring myself to attend a grief group, or even leave my house. I felt that I could barely stand up because I was so weighed […]

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  • New Normal After a Son’s Suicide

    Posted on October 13, 2024 - by Jean Williams

    New Normal After a Son’s Suicide Five years after my son’s suicide, I stood at my picture window and smiled at the snowbirds that hovered around the feeder. They spit fluff from the seeds and it floated down, scattering hulls on the ground. A flit of wings and a brown sparrow darted along the grass. After the snowbirds left, I became surprised the sparrow didn’t fly to the food. It continued to eat what fell from the other birds’ beaks. I pitied the feathered creature. It had failed to see there was now room to eat from the bird feeder. […]

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Open to Hope Radio

Open to Hope TV

  • Episode 235: Navigating Loss

    Posted on December 20, 2024 - by admin

    Losses are complicated, how do we navigate them?  Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guests; Julie Ryan, Sarah Voleman and Dr. Korie Leigh to talk about navigating loss. Julie Ryan is a Medical Intuitive. She is the author of, Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next, and Angel Messages, picture books answering kids’ tough questions. Julie hosts the “Ask Julie Ryan” show which is heard by millions worldwide. Sarah Voleman is a board certified art therapist and a licensed social worker.  She is a faculty member […]

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  • Episode 231: Faces of Grief

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    Grief comes in many forms, and on this show we will talk about the groundbreaking book “Faces of Grief.” Join Dr. Heidi Horsley and Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, to discuss Faces of Grief. Joining them are Bill Correll, Jan Jeremias, Carin Mikos, and Kate Mollison. Co-host Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki is a somatic therapist, who started SIBS online, a weekly peer support group. Bill Correll has a podcast called Lightening the Candle: A World the Works.” Jan Jeremias, is the best selling author of “Spoil Your Pet: A Practical Guide to Using Essential Oils in Dogs and Cats.” Carin Mikos is the creator of […]

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  • Episode 230: Turning Loss into Legacy

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    How do we turn loss into Legacy? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Alan Pedersen to talk about the creative ways that people have turned loss into legacy. Joining them are Kate Mollison, Jordon Ferber, Kelli Holst, and Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki. Co-host Alan Pedersen has presented programs for grieving families in over 1,600 cities, and is the former Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. Kate Mollison, is the founder and CEO of “On Tuesdays We Wear Black.” Jordon Ferber, runs an online Compassionate Friends sibling goup, and is podcast host for Where’s the Grief. Kelli Holst, is the Founder […]

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  • Episode 229: Grief as a Teacher

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    Is it possible to learn something from your grief? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Alan Pedersen as they discuss how grief can be a teacher. Joining them are, Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, Carin Mikos, Jan Jeremias, Bill Correll, Jordon Ferber, and Kelli Holst. Co-host Alan Pedersen has presented programs for grieving families in over 1,600 cities and is the former Executive Director for The Compassionate Friends. Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, is a somatic therapist, who started SIBS online, a weekly peer to peer support group. Carin Mikos, is the creator of Quietus House, and podcast host for In the Gap. Jan […]

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