Death of a Child

Learning from Others

Sunday, June 28, 2009

by Sandy Fox My daughter died 15 years ago. Her dreams, hopes for the future…everything gone. My hopes for her: a family, a bright career, a wonderful marriage…all gone. Each year I think what her life would have been like now. She would have had children to love and share with her husband; she probably would have had a career in the advertising or public relations field. Or perhaps she would have preferred staying home and just be a mother. They would have traveled eventually, seen the world, learned from the experiences and been better people for it. Perhaps my […]

Death of a Child, Death of a Spouse

Will You Overcome Grief or Will Grief Overcome You?

By Jack Cain Someone has died, or you have experienced some other devastating loss, and grief has virtually taken over your life. It arrives in towering waves that engulf and own you, all at once. I can tell you this because I lived it. Three people in my family died in a 20-month period, of unrelated causes. My son, Adam, committed suicide at age 27; then my wife, Lenore, died of ovarian cancer, after having survived breast cancer four years previously; my daughter, Stephanie, died at age 34 of congestive heart failure, less than three months after the death of […]

Special Topics

Celebrity Deaths Create ‘Spectacular’ Grief

Saturday, June 27, 2009

By Mitch Carmody — When I hear of the death of a high profile individual, it always turns my head. But do I mourn?? Do I lament? Do I cry in public?? In most cases, I do not. I am far enough detached from the individual that I do not personally lament the loss.  The loss does not profoundly affect my life; I can deal with it intellectually and move on with my day. How else could one read the paper or watch the evening news and not be heartbroken every night? Every day is so full of death and […]

Other Losses, Special Topics

Celebrating the Celebrity – Recognizing Our Own Power

By Anne Hamilton, M.F.A. I was saddened by the news of Michael Jackson’s sudden death on June 25th. We were kids together. We grew up together. We both sang and danced little routines, and had dreams of becoming a star. Of course, his dreams came true and he became an international star – but he took me along for the ride somehow, anyway. This is why I feel sad and have taken some moments to grieve. I grieve first for my own lack of success, in a way, and also that his genius was lost way too soon. Michael Jackson […]

Special Topics

Learn to Die and You Will Learn to Live

By Stan Goldberg — My life is tethered to a number that few people have ever heard of: a Gleason score of 7. It’s a measure of prostate cancer severity that ranges from a forgettable 1 to a terminal 9. My lucky 7 places me on the cusp of living and dying. Not a particularly comfortable neighborhood to take up residence, but one in which I’m forced to live. During the operation to remove the prostate, my surgeon found that the cancer spread beyond the prostate gland and into one of the lymph nodes. Three weeks after the operation we […]

Children & Teens, Pet Loss, Special Topics

Helping Grandchildren with Pet Loss

Friday, June 26, 2009

By – Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC Question: I very sadly had to euthanize my wonderful dog of 8 years last night.  She has been with me with so many other losses and helped me through.  Now here I am and at a loss without her. I am having a terrible time but am contacting you to help with my two grandchildren, who are ages 6 and 3. They live across the street and have grown up with our Great Dane Suzanna, and I am at a loss as to what to say to them that they will understand.  They […]

Pet Loss, Special Topics, Your Grief

Common Myths and Misconceptions about the Loss of a Cherished Pet

by – Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT COMMON MYTHS ABOUT THE LOSS OF PETS: There is nothing special about the relationship between animals and humans. Your relationship with a companion animal can be just as special and loving as those you have with any other family member or close friend. Loving an animal is different from loving a human being, because a pet loves you in a way that people cannot: profoundly, boundlessly and unconditionally. Losing an animal is less painful and less significant than losing a human loved one. Pain over the loss of a beloved companion animal is as […]

Death of a Child

Celebrities Get Attention, But Were They Loved?

When I heard of Michael Jackson’s death, I felt a wave of confused sadness. Immediately, I was flooded with memories of hearing his music in Japan, where I was raised.  The teenie-bopper magazines sent to us from the U.S. held photos and stories about his life as one of the Jackson Five. My friend Josephine and I absorbed these when we had sleepovers. Years later, I watched his “Thriller” video over and over, captivated by his talent. In the mid-80s, when I worked at a refugee camp in The Philippines, the Vietnamese kids would blast his music through a cassette […]

Special Topics, Your Grief

Why Do We Grieve Over a Celebrity’s Death?

By Coralease Ruff — We react so strongly to the death of public figures like Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Princess Diana, whom we do not know personally, primarily because we feel as if we know them. On some level, perhaps we do know them because we may see them often, read about them, listen to their music, view their films as well as follow their life events. In the case of Michael Jackson, I began listening to his music in the early days when he and his brothers first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show and have followed him […]

Death of a Sibling, Other Losses

Farrah, Michael, Bonnie, and Denise

By Michelle Linn-Gust — When I found out that Farrah Fawcett had anal cancer, I was taken back to the cancer of my friend, Bonnie, who died 3 1/2 years ago. I was with Bonnie almost every day, as long as I was in town, until her death a few months later. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary and it was Bonnie who sewed my wedding dress. Bonnie had the same cancer as Farrah. I had a Farrah haircut in fifth grade and my older sister was a big “Charlie’s Angels” fan. My cousins had a gerbil named Farrah. Farrah […]