Death of a Spouse

Hiccups: During Grief, We Really Feel Them

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Since the end of last month, my world has been in a state of flux. Those last few weeks of July, I was feeling impatient, edgy, and frustrated. I didn’t have a classroom, but had an idea about a job at the school that I’ve worked at for years. I was feeling the squeeze of the door shutting on the upcoming school year with the jobs filling, but I was still without a place to call home. As is the story of my life in more recent years, in the final hours…voila…a great job appeared. I interviewed and was offered […]

Death of a Sibling

Sister Unloads Grief Years After Brother’s Suicide

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I was a sweet, blue-eyed seven-year-old girl watching The Parent Trap while my big brother was babysitting. He got me a cup of water after asking if there was anything I needed. Little did I know my answer should have been, “I need my big brother.” Only minutes later I heard a heart-stopping, deafening boom. I sat there, frozen. What was that? My blonde hair on the back of my neck was standing up, and my ears were ringing. The terrifying noise was the gun my brother used to take his own life. Thirteen years later, that emotionally scarred little […]

Open to Hope, Your Grief

My Heart and Me: A Poem

Thursday, July 25, 2013

My heart and me Is all I need to be complete; I could try to stand But can’t Unless I know it’s for my heart and me. I couldn’t see With just me So I made sure I still had my heart To come along with me. My heart would have worn away long ago From the exhaustion of being on my sleeve But for me—it kept beating And for my heart—I kept breathing We were meant to be, My heart and me. And I can’t love without thee, My heart And my heart can’t circulate blood Without me It […]

Open to Hope, Your Grief

Someday: A Poem

Thursday, July 18, 2013

I may have lost myself somewhere along the way But I’ll be back when the dawn breaks…someday. Along my journey I walked into too many caves And the darkness made me want my home And to come back someday. There were dragons to slay Horrific dragons—I was afraid But I slayed them And loudly whispered amens After praying to guide me back…someday. I witnessed a hungry lion And I fed him with guilt But the innocence inside of me Made me want to redeem myself someday. As I wandered astray I slowly found myself And wearily asked the Lord for […]

Open to Hope

An Insulated Heart: Feeling For Oklahoma Victims

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Right after I was widowed, my heart was raw. It was wide open, exposed, and vulnerable to all and any heartache that I saw and heard. It didn’t matter if that tragedy was near or far. If I heard it, saw it, read it, my heart ached for those involved. My empathetic senses were turned up to full power. If I heard of people losing loved ones, I was ripped back to my early moments of loss and sadness. It truly was like going back to square one and experiencing my own loss of Dave as if it were the […]

Your Grief

Oklahoma Tornadoes: Even in Tragedy, the Power of Good over Evil

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I was a youth minister when the Columbine school shooting occurred many years ago. It was my first experience with public tragedy that affected youth directly during my professional ministry. As the tragedy occurred, I knew I had a group of junior high teens coming to group that afternoon.  I didn’t know how many of the kids would show up, but I knew some would.  I knew the kids would need a safe place to talk about what happened.  I knew I would have to be sensitive and listen to what they needed, not inflict adult needs on them. I […]