Bereavement, Your Grief

Yes, I’m Still Grieving

Friday, November 22, 2024

Yes, I’m Still Grieving If you or someone you care about has ever suffered a painful loss, you’ve likely heard, communicated, or thought something like the following: That earnest wish that a person could “move on” or “get over” the intensity of grief. The well-meaning concern that someone is “dwelling on,” “wallowing in,” or “stuck in” grief. That kind directive to “focus on the positive” or work to get one’s “life back.” We often feel it, deeply, when friends or family members are grieving. Perhaps we experience their hurt empathically, or maybe we sense its weight because we wish for […]

Open to Hope

Solace in a Birdsong

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

There are days when I feel the weight of old memories, heart losses, and traumas suffered along the path of life. What triggers this can vary. So, what I choose to focus on is not so much what landed me in the low energy or anxious thoughts but, instead, what can help me shift out of it. Today was one of those days where I awoke with a feeling of heaviness and worry. Logically, there is no reason for this. But emotions don’t come from logic. According to experts in neurology, emotions are a reaction to a physical change in […]

Death of a Spouse

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Telling-Your-Child-About-a-Death

What is the story you tell yourself about your loss? Even as a child, I understood the power of stories. Through words, I could escape into worlds far, far away. Between the covers of books, I could find characters I could relate to when I felt misunderstood. Stories gave me comfort, sparked my imagination, and made me curious about people and places outside of my own environment. Storytelling has been a part of the human experience since our early days. History is built around the word. Stories are how we pass down knowledge and information to future generations. They are […]

Death of a Spouse

10 Lessons Widowhood Has Taught Me

1. You Can Go On Even When You Feel Like Giving Up I honestly didn’t think I’d survive the first month of being widowed, yet here I am… 88 months later. The sad, broken part of me couldn’t see myself climbing out of the rawest stage of my grief. There were many times that I questioned why I was left here without my spouse. There were times when I literally had no tears left to cry. But somehow, through the grace of God, I survived the first year, then the next, then year 3…and on and on. It feels like […]

Death of a Spouse

Being Exquisitely Seen

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Books Saved Me I’ve been a lover of words and books and writers since childhood. I treasure the way we can be educated, transported, and transformed through what we read and the stories we share. Every so often, I hear a phrase strung together, like pearls on a string, that resonates deeply in my soul. How a phrase lands can be as breathtaking as the most beautiful view from a mountaintop. During difficult times, I’ve often turned to books for comfort, wisdom, and to feel less alone in my struggles. The author that saved me from my grief was Viktor […]

Death of a Child

Adrift in A Sea of Grief

Monday, November 5, 2018

I am adrift in an endless sea of grief. As I float along, the world continues to go on around me as if I am walking among the bustling crowds—but my feet haven’t touched dry land since September 30, 2009. It was on that day—the day my 4-year-old daughter drowned—I was unwillingly thrust into this watery journey. Drowning in Despair Without warning—and in a matter of moments—my daughter’s sudden death unleashed a monstrous tsunami of indescribable pain that was so huge and so dense, it blocked out the light of the sun. In complete darkness, it crashed down upon me […]

Open to Hope

Pieces of You

Monday, June 25, 2018

Today, I gave away another piece of you. A piece that’s traveled with me for thousands of miles back and forth between Los Angeles and Canada and other places. A piece that’s been with me for 17 years. In the days, months, and years since your passing, I’ve let go of small and big parts of you and of us. In the early days, I tore through the house, purging it of any sign of your illness. Perhaps I was trying to get us back to the time before your diagnosis when all was well…when you were well. Weeks into […]

Death of a Spouse

Every Single Breath

Monday, May 7, 2018

The 17th anniversary of my husband’s passing was on my mind in the days leading up to it. Some years, it slipped by me without much notice. Other years, the day brought me to my knees and threatened to be the undoing of me. Grief is like that. This year, I saw it coming. Ticking and tocking it’s way ever closer. How do I want to honor my late husband this year? This is the question I often ask myself. But this year, a dear friend had a different question for me. “What’s one cherished moment you’d like to share […]

Open to Hope

Caregiver Remorse: 3 Ways to Find Peace

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

I’ve not yet met a fellow caregiver who, at some point, hasn’t expressed at least one regret…maybe more. Caregiving can be extremely rewarding and challenging. The rewards are pretty clear. On the challenging side, there is care delivery. Caregivers end up on the front lines providing services that, in the past, have been in the hands of trained healthcare practitioners. Patients are moved home at a faster rate out of hospitals and treatment centers often leaving injections, wound care, medication oversight, and more in the hands of the family. Another challenge that weighs on caregivers are the medical care decisions especially, […]

Death of a Child

Coping With Grief: Approaching the Second Anniversary of My Son’s Death

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Life is moving along well, considering the magnitude of losing of my only child almost two years ago. Since December of last year, I have started to feel like myself again. My nature, which is generally optimistic and hopeful, has returned. Recognizing that part of myself return was like meeting with an old friend. Since my son’s death, I choose not to fake what I’m feeling, to others or myself. It’s not that I dump my sadness onto others; rather, I decide what’s best for me in a given moment and assess my ability and willingness to share and be […]