Death of a Parent, Death of a Sibling, Open to Hope

How to Survive a Memorial Service by Eating All the Cookies

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Dad Helped Plan His Memorial Service We had a memorial service for my dad. He helped plan the shindig. He picked the songs for the video slideshow, asked me to speak, and requested that his older sister, Kathy, co-lead the service. Dad requested that his grandsons play music. And he did not want a viewing. He wanted to be cremated. He had a hand in the whole thing. It was one of the strange gifts of cancer, the time to talk about the ending. Honestly, I’m sad that he wasn’t able to attend. I think he would have had a […]

Open to Hope

Suicide Grief Is Unique Because Death by Suicide Is Unique

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Perhaps the word unique is too restrictive in a discussion of universal phenomena such as death or grief, but according to new national guidelines* for responding to suicide, considering such a perspective … … opens the door to asking not only “What makes grief after suicide different?” but also “How does the distinctive nature of suicide itself affect the bereavement experience of survivors?” Responding to Grief, Trauma, and Distress After a Suicide: U.S. National Guidelines suggests that death by suicide can raise questions about the deceased’s volition and whether the death was preventable as well as about the role of stigma […]

Death of a Parent, Open to Hope

Comic Steve Mittleman About Forgiving Hard Parents at End of Life

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Comedian Steve Mittleman

It’s easy to forgive the hardest parent when they thank you through tears with: “Nobody cared for me as much in my whole life!” Or when they write a letter that gets delivered to you on the day of their funeral. This and more, when memory artist, Nancy Gershman talks with comic, Steve Mittleman who travels the world doing stand-up for corporate events and private functions. Visit him at SteveMittleman@aol.com. Don’t be surprised to discover you speak fluent “Stroke” Genuine bonding so often begins at End of Life  Improve your chances to get a letter from Dad the day of his funeral […]

Open to Hope

Getting Through What You’re Going Through: Pastor Rick Warren Models

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Life at Saddleback Church rarely slows down for Pastor Rick Warren and his wife Kay. After four glorious days of Easter services, a typically busy week of ministry began. Christianity Today was scheduled to run an article highlighting Warren’s upcoming book, The Peace Plan. His goal is to reach people all over the world with translations in multiple languages. Five days after Easter, the Warrens’ world changed forever. After several unsuccessful attempts to contact one of their sons, Rick and Kay had a strange sense something wasn’t right. Their twenty-seven year old son, Matthew, had battled depression for most of […]

Death of a Child

Could Writing Help the Boston Survivors?

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The bombings in Boston have left me in tears. Every time I hear the news, see the photos of those who died or were wounded, I want to curl up and block it all out. It is much the way I felt after my son took his life in 1999. These kinds of tragedies bring all those sad feelings back. I also want to find a way to help. In my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On, I told how I survived through writing. It is my belief that everyone who has experienced such a tragedy – and I suspect […]

Death of a Child, Your Grief

How Working Outside My Hope Helped Me Survive

Friday, September 7, 2012

When my older son Paul died by suicide in 1999 after a seven-year battle with bipolar disorder, I had to find ways to keep myself busy and productive or else I would wallow away in my grief. At the time of his death I wrote grant proposals for a homeless shelter, but with too many reminders working from my home office, I decided I needed a job away from home. After two false starts at part-time jobs – writing grant proposals for our local free clinic and managing capital campaigns as a fundraising consultant – I decided to try to […]

Special Topics, Your Grief

Faith and Suicide

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Having lost loved ones to suicide, I am deeply saddened and feel abandoned when the Christian faith I look to for support and comfort judge and condemn victims of suicides. While I certainly do not support or advocate suicide, nowhere in The Holy Bible does it exclude from Heaven our loved ones who have taken their own lives. In fact, Jesus said the only unforgivable sin was blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, so I am often mystified by seemingly-sanctimonious condemnations of suicide victims on “God’s behalf.” After all, would any loving and compassionate father forever turn away from his child for […]