Military, Special Topics

Alleged Killings by U.S. Soldier Remind Us of War’s Psychological Toll

Sunday, May 31, 2009

By Dr. Norman Fried — The headlines of many U.S. newspapers this week report that five Americans are dead after a U.S. soldier opened fire at a U.S. base on Camp Liberty in Baghdad, where soldiers were receiving psychological treatment for the stresses of combat or from personal issues. The shooting causes all of us to consider the power of post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, particularly when it results from wartime stress. PTSD is noted by a persistent impairment in adaptive functioning that is triggered by a traumatic injury or incident. Laurence Miller, in his book, Shocks to the […]

Death of a Spouse

Will I Ever Find Me Again? — New Roles After the Death of a Spouse

Saturday, May 30, 2009

In response to “From a Plea for Help,” Julie Z. wrote:  My husband died about 1.5 years ago, I continue to cry daily. He was everything to me. I am so tired of being so alone. I miss him so very much. Why did someone so wonderful need to go? I pray so very much, that the wonderful memories we made together will make me smile, not cry. I miss everything about him. I miss him, the wonderful marriage we shared and I miss, who I was when I was with him. He completed me. Will I ever find me […]

Death of a Child

Knitting Circle Gives Hope To Author

by Sandy Fox I just got done reading The Knitting Circle, Ann Hood’s moving account of how a grieving mother survives the loss of her only daughter from an illness. Although the book is fictional, it parallels Hood’s own loss of her daughter and how joining a knitting circle saved her life. This book was written before her latest book, “Comfort” which I reviewed a while back, but is well-worth the sitting down in a comfortable chair and reading. It is a book that is simple in its words, understandable in it’s grief and acutely moving as it shows you […]

Other Losses, Special Topics

Recalling a Childhood Friend, Decades After Her Death

By Linda C. Wisniewski — If a loss comes early in life, it sometimes takes many years before its full impact is felt. When my kindergarten best friend was killed, I was more puzzled and scared than sad. It was only when I began writing my own life story and recalled the events surrounding her death that I was able to find meaning in it. Here’s what I wrote about her in Chapter Three of my memoir, Off Kilter: What I remember most about Diane is the way she looked in her casket. That morning, our kindergarten class walked two-by-two […]

Death of a Sibling, Military

Memorial Day: When You Lose a Sibling in War

A sibling relationship should be a lifelong friendship, but for those losing a brother or sister who served in the military, the pain and sorrow can be overwhelming. Adult siblings left behind must contend with their own grief and shock, adjust to an altered family structure and assume new responsibilities. To help brothers and sisters cope, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS held its first weekend retreat for siblings in 2008. The retreat was modeled after the organization’s regional seminars, which help surviving family members process their grief reactions, develop coping skills, and establish support networks. “Siblings often experience […]

Other Losses, Special Topics, Your Grief

How Do You Honor Deceased Colleague?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Michele writes in: At our company, the executive secretary to the President, who was only in her early 30s, died last year suddenly one afternoon. She had been with the company for 12 years. She was like family to many of her coworkers. Any suggestions as to how to recognize the one-year anniversary of her death in a very low key manner? Dr. Norman Fried responds: Milestone days such as the anniversary of a death often restimulate sad feelings and memories that require compassion and attention. However, some co-workers may be unwilling or unable to honor this loss in a […]

Other Losses, Special Topics, Your Grief

Has the Music Stopped? Risking Again After a Loss

By Stan Goldberg — When a sleep disorder forced me to retire at 57, and six months later I developed prostate cancer, I reacted to life as if the music had stopped. My misguided belief that life should always rest on an even keel appeared in the literature more than one thousand years ago in the form of a Zen story. A student said to his Master, “I had a terrible meditation session.” The teacher nodded his head knowingly and responded, “It will pass.” The next day the student again sought out the teacher and said, “I had a great […]

Death of a Parent, Special Topics, Your Grief

Father’s Day Approaches as a Father Dies

Thursday, May 28, 2009

By Gloria Lintermans — My father is dying of cancer. He will be gone before Father’s Day, having spent 93 years in a world of snow-balling change. A huge person in my life, I don’t know how to say good-bye. Experience doesn’t help. My mother died two years ago, my husband almost seven. Loss, I guess, is something we never get “right”. Of one thing I am sure, while we think we can prepare for loss, truly this preparation can be only intellectual; we fool ourselves if we think we can prepare emotionally. There is much I have learned and […]

Death of a Parent

Be Humble

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

As I was working out the other day, I happened to look up at one of the many TV’s they have on at the gym and saw FOX news on.   Neil Cavuto who has a popular program on that channel was talking but of course they did not have the sound on.   All they had were those blurbs that run by the screen.   When I looked up at the TV the blurb I saw was: “My Dad said, be humble… and good things will happen.”   How true that is. My Dad said the same thing.   […]

Children & Teens, Death of a Spouse, Special Topics

Mother’s Power Limited in the Face of Death

By Michele Neff Hernandez — Motherhood brings out the lioness in me. No task is too small or sacrifice too great to ensure the well being of my three children. In my mind’s eye, I can see myself jumping in front of an on-coming train to save their lives; feeding them first from my last ration of bread; offering myself as a meal for the hungry bear that is chasing them. In every one of these imaginings I manage to save the day. In the normal course of life, moms feed, bathe, clothe, soothe, encourage, celebrate, hold, hug, and protect […]