Feeling discouraged? Relax and tune into the Open to Hope podcast and hear Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley interview guests with inspiring stories about recovery from loss.
New Normal for Mom after Death of Adult Son There was no rain, just some dark misty clouds. There in the sky was a beautiful rainbow. We were traveling home from the hospital after our son Lucas died, and saw the rainbow come from nowhere. It stayed with us 10 minutes or so, and I knew deep within me that God had sent that sight for me, to give me some sort of peace or hope for the future. It has been over a year since we beheld that gorgeous sight, and every time I see a rainbow, I am […]
Dreams Die with Your Spouse One of the hardest struggles I’ve found about widowhood is that the life you had before pretty much dies with your spouse. Well, at least mine did. The hopes, dreams and plans that we made as a couple were buried with my husband. Every morsel of my being was changed because he is no longer here for me to love or be loved by him. At first, his vacancy left the obvious holes; no more him, no more seeing, smelling, holding, or sharing with him. As time passed, more holes appeared: no one to help […]
Getting Over a Child-Loss There was a time when I believed that people should “get over” their grief by the 12th month following a loss. After all, isn’t that what our society believes to be true? In the summer of 1976, I was employed by a doctor in a medical office building. There were several other offices on our floor, and at noon time, I would meet with some of the other doctors’ employees for lunch. One woman, whom we called Gracie, had lost her 16-year-old son two years prior in a drowning accident. Each day at lunch break, Gracie […]
Twins: Connected in Life and Death As a twin myself, the death of actor and identical twin Jon Hager was especially fascinating. Jon and Jim Hager co-starred in the old TV show, “Hee-Haw,” back in the 1970s. Jim died of a heart attack last year at just 66 years of age; Jon died at 67 on Jan. 9. It had been reported that Jon was depressed after his brother’s death; the cause of Jon’s death has not yet been determined. These nearly back-to-back deaths don’t surprise me. When the twin bond is broken, it leaves a bereft and broken twin. […]
Signs and Dreams from our Children Dreams and signs of our children. Do they really exist? Are dreams and signs a technique our deceased children use to contact us to let us know they are fine and indeed do live on? I believe with my whole heart they do. I am very fortunate and blessed. Because of my Grief Support website, I am privileged to hear about numerous dreams and signs deceased children have shown their parents and grandparents. Although they vary in context, they all have the same theme of our deceased children communicating to us that they still […]
What Do I Do with the Ring? Eight months after my wife Lisa died of cancer, I sat in our bedroom staring at my gold wedding band, the symbol of our love and marriage that I still wore. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want my marriage to end after only 8 years, and the thought of removing my ring plagued me with guilt. Yet, I knew that I had to remove my ring. I had to admit that at age 40, I was a widower with two young sons to raise. My ring is a symbol of […]
Five Years into Widowhood I still can’t believe that he is gone, and perhaps I never will. And that’s all right. I never thought that I would be alone, and in my mind, I know that being alone is the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. If you have lost the love of your life, then you know what I am talking about. You confront the same unbearable pain and heartbreak each day as I do, and you too have loneliness as your constant companion. It has been five years since Eddie died. My friends and family […]
Being a Twinless Twin As a twinless twin, the emotions I felt were mirrored in other twinless twins I met. Just listening, for the first time, to other twins tell their story of loss and what it meant for them to lose their twin had an impact I will never forget. It was a huge gift in my life. It has been my personal experience that twin-loss was echoed in my other losses. As I experienced the death of my mother, I longed for my twin Paula and what we shared. It always came back to an unfinished grief, one I […]
This article was first published on Open to Hope in 2010. Thursday will be the 21st Thanksgiving I’ve lived through following the death of my 18-month-old daughter Erin in 1990. The 12th since my wife Trici died in 1999 and the 6th since my 13-year-old son Rory died in 2005. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t expect anyone to mention the name(s) of the people I love who have died. Expecting someone to say their names only brings me disappointment and pain because there is a good chance that the day will pass with no one […]
I have been to our university’s graduation parties several times since my daughter passed away, but they were never held in the same hall that her high school graduation had taken place at. I did not step in that building since her graduation eight years ago. I woke up apprehensive of what was awaiting me this morning. Everyone at home knew that I was uncomfortable. My son tried to reassure me that I would be all right as I kissed him on my way out with the gown in my hands. My daughter gave me a hug. Despite my feelings, […]
